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What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 7

post #121 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
Okay, so ds2 came up with one today I have to share.

I took him to the midwife for my 20 week check-up and he came in the bathroom with me while I collected my urine sample and watched while I gave it to a nurse in a plastic cup.

He then chatted nicely with the midwife and quietly listened to the babies heartbeat before the midwife asked him "Do you have any questions for me" to which ds replied "Yes, when are you going to drink my mom's pee"

BJ
Barney & Ben
OMG!! I just spit on the computer screen my laugh came out so hard! :
post #122 of 191
I so needed this today! These are great!

The one i have is from today. We are i target shopping and dd sees all these padded bras:
DD (2.5 years) "whats those mommy?"
me Those are bras
dd "for you boobs?"
me "for your nursies"
dd loudly "dad doesnt like nursies but he does like boobs!"
me "hey look at that cool shirt" trying desperatly to distract
dd "yeah thats nice...bras are for nipples!"

Then an older lady walks up to look at the rack next to us

DD "daddy REALLLLLLY likes NIPPLES!!!"

Lady smirks

Lady says to dd "you are a pretty little girl"
dd "yup, and you are not"
lady "are you shopping with your mommy?"
dd "MOOOOOOOM i dont want to talk to that old lady she is BAD!!!!"

Lovely
post #123 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
Okay, so ds2 came up with one today I have to share.

I took him to the midwife for my 20 week check-up and he came in the bathroom with me while I collected my urine sample and watched while I gave it to a nurse in a plastic cup.

He then chatted nicely with the midwife and quietly listened to the babies heartbeat before the midwife asked him "Do you have any questions for me" to which ds replied "Yes, when are you going to drink my mom's pee"

BJ
Barney & Ben




I am in a study where i take a daily urine sample, put them in the garage freezer and bring them in weekly. DD (2.5 years) knows we bring it to the hosp once a week and give it to the doctor. She named him "dr peepee" And when we walk into the crowded hosp she always yells "helllooo Dr PEEPEE!" His mom (i think she is in her late 80's) got such a kick out of the story she had a plaque made for him that says "dr peepee"
post #124 of 191
Today in the car my 2.5yo said "Mama, I like cars and spaghetti. That's all."

Don't know where that came from but it made me laugh!!
post #125 of 191
Dh just told me this.

Last night DH was trying to get a hotel on price line. He was in the process of trying to pay for it. He couldn't make out the last 3 digits on the back of his card-they had worn off. After his third attempt,DH kinda cursed under his breath and DD asked what was wrong.
He said his card wasn't working.
She went over to her cash register and got her (exact replica American Express that came in the mail-says "your name here") and said-
Thats OK Daddy, you can use mine.

AAAAAAHHHH!
post #126 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama View Post
Dh just told me this.

Last night DH was trying to get a hotel on price line. He was in the process of trying to pay for it. He couldn't make out the last 3 digits on the back of his card-they had worn off. After his third attempt,DH kinda cursed under his breath and DD asked what was wrong.
He said his card wasn't working.
She went over to her cash register and got her (exact replica American Express that came in the mail-says "your name here") and said-
Thats OK Daddy, you can use mine.

AAAAAAHHHH!



If only that worked!! I'd have a whole new wardrobe!!
post #127 of 191
My DS has a cold and doesn't feel very well. He told me that "his whole brain hurts."
post #128 of 191
Thread Starter 
And another one from my DS last night...

DS (yelling from his room): Mama, why did you take my bop bag out of my room?

Me: I didn't--

DS: Oh, here it is! Sorry! I was out of my mind!

(I'm assuming he meant to say, "Never mind"...)
post #129 of 191
My dd (2 and a half) is starting to pick up what we say too much (our fault- not hers).

She's started to say crap quite a bit. Like "ah mommy- theres crap in my bed", or "Mommy- my ponys has to crap now"

The funniest thing is my 5 yo son- he started putting his thumb in his mouth and then blowing hard to fill up his cheek, thus popping out his thumb. He was doing this so much, I was starting to worry it was a tick or something. I'd ask him why he was doing it and he'd sort of shrug.

Finally, I saw him doing it when dh was around- and I pointed it out. "See! He's doing it again!"

Dh shook his head and laughed a little. "Hey bud--- what are you doing?"

"Remember dad? Remember when I hit the tree when I was sledding?" Ds asked.

Well, DH burst out laughing. Last winter, ds was sledding down our hill and ran into a tree- hurting his groin pretty bad for the first time. Apparently Dh told him to blow on his thumb like this to "pop his nuts back out".

"Dad, " ds continues "I'm just poppin my nuts."

Great.
post #130 of 191
Mom, where is Caillou penis?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=543036
post #131 of 191
My six-year-old has really been nurturing her baby sister (nineteen months) this evening. She's been cradling her in her lap and warming her up with a blanket. A few moments ago they lay side by side across the seat of the easy chair and my oldest said, "Look, Mommy: we're already showing sister-love!"
post #132 of 191
My 8 year old came up and told me what food she and her sister were taking upstairs, what they were playing blah blah blah, and then said,

"I just wanted to keep you in the loop."
post #133 of 191
I have 3 boys Kaleb 8yrs, Jacob 5yrs and Caeden 3mo. Anyway, Kaleb came to me the other day and said that Caeden really looks up to him and Jacob, I replied yes his does and always will. He said "yes but he'll always look up to me more because I'm the tallest"
post #134 of 191
Between DD 1 and DSS yest in car DD:so you went on a date? DSS No, I just rode bikes with her. DD: So what's the difference? DSS You go different stuff on a date. And you really like the other person. DD: So you don't like her? DSS No I like her DD So it was a date? DSS NO!!! DD.......So are you gay? :
post #135 of 191
My 3.5 year old:

I took a very good picture of dd yesterday and showed it to her on my camera. She looked at it and said: "Oh my God, I am sooo beautiful!!!"

We went to a zoo. The next day at breakfast I wanted to review with her all the animals that we saw there. So, I asked her to name them. She did. At night, I wanted to review it again and asked her whether she can name the animals for mommy again. She said: "Mom...I can't believe you forgot everything already!!!"

DD knows that she is not allowed to put dolls or sit herself in ds's infant car seat because it is CLEAN. She was playing with the doll and I overheard her conversation: "Oh, (doll's name), I know you really want to sit in baby's car seat. But mommy does not allow that because it has to stay very clean. But you know what? If baby will burp or poop in it, then we will quickly sit in it too before mom will clean it up again".

I went with my mother and dd to a clothing store to get some suits. I tried a few on and my mom commented whether it was good, bad, wrong colour, wrong fit, etc. Then she went to the bathroom while I was left with ds. I decided to try on a blouse and when I did I said outloud that I don't really like it. My dd then said: "hold on, mom. Turn around. (I did). She said "You know what...(then a pause)...it fits you just perfectly".

We have a tenant in the basement and we often call him "tenant" and not by name. My friend was asking dd about everyone's names and asked what's tenant's name. DD answered: "What do you mean, what his name is? His name is "Tenant"!"

A few days after ds was just born, grandfather called and talked to DD and asked her how ds was doing. She said: "He is fine. He has been born already".

Oh, boy...I can go on and on as I have at least 30-50 more of those super sayings.
post #136 of 191
When our sitter arrived recently, I was telling her a story about how someone was really rude to me. My DD got huffy and said, "Like, what about (insert air quotes)The Manners?"
post #137 of 191
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquadaughter View Post
I've got a good one that I said when I was seven.

me, straight-faced, very matter-of-factly: I am as tall as many adult midgets.

Mom, holding back laughter: Oh, really?!

Now that I look back, It's hysterical!!

:
post #138 of 191
Here was our dinner conversation the other night:

DD2, age 1: YYYEEEEEEAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
DH: Hey, Little Shmoo. Come on, stop screaming. Pterodactyls are extinct!
DD1, age 4: Yeah, Shmoo! Pterodactyls STINK!!!


And then, in the bathroom:

DD1, age 4: Mommy, you have hair on your vulva.
Me: Yes, that happens to girls when they grow up and become women.
DD1: Will I get hair there?
Me: Yep.
DD1: Will it be brown like yours?
Me: Probably.
DD1: Is every woman's vulva hair brown?
Me: No, some women's vulva hair is blond, or red, or black.
DD1: Oooh, Mommy, I know...I want mine to be pink!
post #139 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddledebi View Post

And then, in the bathroom:

DD1, age 4: Mommy, you have hair on your vulva.
Me: Yes, that happens to girls when they grow up and become women.
DD1: Will I get hair there?
Me: Yep.
DD1: Will it be brown like yours?
Me: Probably.
DD1: Is every woman's vulva hair brown?
Me: No, some women's vulva hair is blond, or red, or black.
DD1: Oooh, Mommy, I know...I want mine to be pink!
Hey me too!
post #140 of 191
Near the baggage claim at the airport in a city we were visiting, a lady started chatting with 4yo DD about where we were from. Then she asked, "Are you a good flier?" DD replied, "Well, we came on an *airplane,* but I do have wings at home."
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