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What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 8

post #141 of 191
Meleah's most recent obsession- the hokey pokey. (Dang backyardigans!) Anyways, she'll insist I get up and start sing/chanting it-
You put your lef foot in, you put it out, you put your lef foot in, you put it out, you do the HOLEY IN THE POKEY and you turn yourself around...

It's SO cute. She's ALWAYS coming back at me with things that I never remember to write down, but I swear it's like having a teenager in the house instead of a 3 yo!
post #142 of 191
DH, DD and I were walking home after playing in Central Park. DD saw DH sweating from the summer heat and announced very loudly on the busy city sidewalk, "My daddy is HOT!"

That got a few head-turns.
post #143 of 191
Me: Hurry, up before a care comes (as we are crossing the street by a liquor store).

Her: Mommy, no one ever goes in there.

Me: Well, sometimes people go in there. It is a liqour store.

Her: Eww, what do they "lick" in there?
post #144 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1xmom View Post
Me: Hurry, up before a care comes (as we are crossing the street by a liquor store).

Her: Mommy, no one ever goes in there.

Me: Well, sometimes people go in there. It is a liqour store.

Her: Eww, what do they "lick" in there?
That's fantastic!
post #145 of 191
"Mommy, I want red book and tampon."

Seriously regretting ever "drawing" the cover of a book with a tampon to amuse dd on the ride home.

This past weekend when dd tried on princess costume she declared, "I'm adorable! Daddy, I'm adorable!"
post #146 of 191
Thread Starter 
DS (5) got a new toy this past weekend, and my niece (5) ran into the room and said, "What is it?" DS held it up, and she goes, "My God, let's play with it."
post #147 of 191
I finally have something to add!

My DS (4) recently started preschool at a Methodist church. It is his first exposure to Christianity.

DS: Mama, today at school, Ms. XXX told us not to say "Oh God" because it is taking the Lord's name in vein (went on to explain what that meant and that it wasn't him that said it - phew)
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
post #148 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
I finally have something to add!

My DS (4) recently started preschool at a Methodist church. It is his first exposure to Christianity.

DS: Mama, today at school, Ms. XXX told us not to say "Oh God" because it is taking the Lord's name in vein (went on to explain what that meant and that it wasn't him that said it - phew)
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
Oh, man! All these are funny, but this one really had me :
post #149 of 191
My two girls ages three and five, were upstairs and it was time for a bath. I told the girls that they needed to get undressed and ready for the bath. My oldest looked at me and said "Why do we need to take bath, Mom? Do we smell like boys?"

:

I have bo idea where she learned that....
post #150 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
ME: You sometimes say "Oh God" when you are frustrated, what could you say instead?
DS: Damn it!

That's my boy!

We settled on "Oh Geez"
Ha! DH and I started self-censoring our much-more-colorful expletives when DD1 was born, and the two of us settled on a Homer Simpson "D'oh!!!" You should have seen my brother almost swallow his tongue laughing when DD1, age 18 months, dropped something and said, with perfect inflection, "D'OHH!!!"
post #151 of 191
my 3 yo dd-when she was ready to get out of the swing:

mommy, I am so done!
post #152 of 191
dh was helping some friends move and they told me to stop by on my way home and see the new place. i told dd i wasn't quite sure where the house was so we would drive around the block until we saw the moving truck.

"That's a moving truck?" she said when we parked. "But Mommy- it isn't moving."
post #153 of 191

Meet the Fockers

My youngest boy has a small speech impediment...so everytime he sees soccer on tv or outside - "soccer" always comes out "sf*cker" ! So when it is put in a sentence it always sounds really really bad... I blocked FSC (foxsoccerchannel)... I hope he grows out of this by next year - when he starts playing!
post #154 of 191
Ok here's one from today. Dh and his friend were building insulated boxes to line our dormers for the winter. They were wearing tool belts and Ds ran out and saw them and said they were builders. The gave him some scraps of wood, some nails, and a hammer and told him to build something. Ds loooved it. Then Dh and his friend took a break to and I asked them what they would like to drink, Dh's friend asked if I had soda and I said no. So he and Dh went to go pick up some. When they got back Ds piped up proudly: "Builders *like* soda!" We all laughed, then he eyed the cans of soda, gets the proudest look on his face and says "I'm a builder too."
post #155 of 191
Yesterday dd was napping and woke up a bit and wanted to nurse (booboo). She was saying mama I want booboo, come on mama. And THEN, out of the blue she goes bwah babwah! (If you've ever seen blue's clues... it's the noise that Blue makes.) DH and I were trying SO hard not to laugh and wake her up all the way. She's done that before and started growling like a puppy too. Guess I know what she's dreaming about!!
post #156 of 191
I got a good one today. I was in the bathroom and DS2 (29 mo) comes in and asks if I'm peeing and says "where's you're Yoni?? is it in there?" (I had on a long shirt that hung to my thighs) then "You don't have a penis" I say no and he says, "i've gotta get me a yoni..." (he's sort of wandering around the bathroom in front of me) "at the store..." (starts walking out of the bathroom into the kitchen and then comes back) "gotta keep it in the bag" and he pantomimes like he's got a bag in his hands and takes something out of the pretend bag and goes to attach his new yoni, lol! I about died laughing!!

He told me he had to take his pants off to put it on but I told him (as I am trying not to fall off the toilet from laughing) that we were about to leave and he should keep his pants on. What a nut!!
post #157 of 191
Ds, who is 4: "Dad, am I going to have a bath tonight?"
DH: "Not tonight."
DS: "Why?"
DH: "You had one last night and it's late"
DS: "Hmmmph, Well, it is good to get clean once in a while you know!"
post #158 of 191
Dd, who is 4.5 was asking about our friends baby who is about 2 months old. DD: Is Rain 1? Me: no, honey, she's still 0. DD: Is she a newborn baby? Me: Yeah, I guess she's still kind of a newborn. DD: I'm an oldborn baby!
post #159 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubelin View Post
I got a good one today. I was in the bathroom and DS2 (29 mo) comes in and asks if I'm peeing and says "where's you're Yoni?? is it in there?" (I had on a long shirt that hung to my thighs) then "You don't have a penis" I say no and he says, "i've gotta get me a yoni..." (he's sort of wandering around the bathroom in front of me) "at the store..." (starts walking out of the bathroom into the kitchen and then comes back) "gotta keep it in the bag" and he pantomimes like he's got a bag in his hands and takes something out of the pretend bag and goes to attach his new yoni, lol! I about died laughing!!

He told me he had to take his pants off to put it on but I told him (as I am trying not to fall off the toilet from laughing) that we were about to leave and he should keep his pants on. What a nut!!
DD said something similar about a week ago. She said "mama when i grow up i will be a BIG BOY!" and i said "no, you will be a big girl."
DD said "nope mama. I will get a penis and put it on and be a BIG BOY!"
post #160 of 191
Thread Starter 
Got another one!

DS's preschool didn't want them to wear costumes today since they dressed up on Friday for their schoolwide Halloween party. So last night, I asked DS to help me think of something he could dress up as, without actually wearing a costume.

He thinks for a second and then goes, "Probably a vegetarian."
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