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What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 9

post #161 of 191
This morning, dd wanted some more cereal. She's heard us spelling things when we don't want her to know what we're talking about a few times. So, instead of asking for more cereal, she said, "Can I have some more L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V?". I think she's figuring this out...
post #162 of 191
A few weeks ago, ds1 had a cold and I saw him rubbing his nose. I asked him if I could help him by getting a tissue and he said "no, it's just itchy and I NEED to spend the night with Aunt Sue!" and out he stomped. Now, mind you, that aunt Sue told him 3 nights before that he could spend the night another time. so funny his train of thought. I hadn't talked about spending the night with her since that conversation 3 days before.
post #163 of 191
Since communication can also be non-verbal, I thought I'd share this totally darling incident.

My nineteen-month-old loves giving kisses -- to us, to her babies, to pictures of people and animals in books. She periodically pulls at her diaper to tell us she wants to sit on her little potty, and lately she's started wiping herself over and over (both before and after peeing) with little pieces of toilet paper.

This morning she started kissing the toilet paper before using it!
post #164 of 191
OK this one embarrases ME too:
We were on a car trip last weekend. 6 yo DS says to DH and me "Do you guys know anyone that sleeps naked?" We both say, "No".
He says,"yes you do."
We say, "We do? who?"
"Auntie J and Uncle Jim."
OMG I don't know how, but I hid my laughter and got as much more info as I could. Nothing interesting. He woke them up a little earlier than they expected on our last visit, I guess!
post #165 of 191

Another reason not to shop at Wal-mart.

We went shopping today for groceries and the store is in the same shopping center as Wal-mart. We pull in and Ds says "mosters aren't real, monsters aren't real." I told him that monsters aren't real and then asked him why he said that. He says "Because Frankenstien lives in Wal-mart."
post #166 of 191
Oh, what a treat! A long, funny thread I haven't read! Just what I need for comic relief- I've only read 3 pages so far but I am laughing so hard!

Originally Posted by uberwench View Post
"Well first we need to go to the Poop aisle at Target, because we need poop for your butt. Your butt is out of poop and we have to get some more so that poop can come out of your butt"

I think we made Mr. Bank Guy's day
I laughed so much at this one I woke up my sleeping, nursing baby! He kept sitting up giggling along with me and I had the hardest time settling him down to sleep after that!

Originally Posted by P-chan View Post
I was leaning back on the couch and my three-year-old son plopped down next to me.

Son (poking): Is this your breast?
Me: Yes.
Son: Is that your other breast?
Me: Yes. I have two breasts.
Son (poking my stomach): Is this your third breast?

Time to start the abs work, I guess.

Originally Posted by littleteapot View Post
This isn't so much just what DD said, but an interaction:

Today my DH made pumpkin ravioli. When he served it to 3 y/o DD she asked him to cut it up for her so she could eat it more easily. As he did, some of the filling started squishing out.
"There's something else in there!" she said.
"Yes there is, that's pumpkin."
DD got the most horrified look on her face and said, "That's PUMPKIN!?"
DH said, "Yes it is" and then quickly realized that DD was talking about OUR CAT NAMED PUMPKIN!!! He immediately started going, "No! No! Not pumpkin! PUMPKIN! The other pumpkin!" Forgetting that DD has actually never eaten pumpkin before.
Oh, that is classic! I'm glad you didn't cook and serve her your cat! I can only imagine her shock and confusion!
post #167 of 191
Ok, here is my contribution.

Like a lot of kids, my ds couln't say 's' at the beginning of words. For the longest time he used a 'p' sound instead. We were having soup for dinner, and he said 'touch dada's poop (soup)!' and we started laughing, and said, ok touch dada's soup if you want to. So he put his finger in it, and said 'finger in poop!' and it got better- then he said 'finger in dada's brown poop!'

A couple weeks ago we were making molasses cookies together. He likes to ask questions about the world to determine what is 'ok' to do and what isn't. Usually when we're cooking he'll ask 'can eat flour?' "can eat baking soda?" 'can lick spoon?' and so on to gauge my reaction to see if that's ok. So we have our dark brown molasses cookie dough all ready, and we have to roll it into balls then flatten them into cookie shapes, and he says "CAN LICK BLACK BALLS!" We are still laughing at that one.
post #168 of 191
my ds (2.5 yrs) was in the bath the other night and said "Mom look at my butt" i replied "yeah thats your butt" he then said "i wanna see Mom's butt" so i turned around and he said "whoa momma's got BIG butt" I told him that is not something mommas want to hear. So of coarse he has been repeating it day after day. ha ha
post #169 of 191
Last night my 4yo told me a long story about how she has magic in her tummy and she can shoot it out of her belly button. "Also there is a hat in my tummy to keep the magic from falling out of my vagina."
post #170 of 191
I haven't read much of this thread, but littleteapot, your pumpkin story made me literally LOL, and I shouldn't b/c DH is trying to get DS to sleep!

The other day, DS and DH were doing their nighttime rituals, and for some reason DS (Eamon) started "seeing" monsters. Shocked expression on his face, looking around, pointing and saying "monster! monster!" DH (Robert) wasn't thinking, and put his hand on Eamon's back, while Eamon was facing the other way. Which *totally* scared poor Eamon.

He was shaking and put his hand out in the 'stop' gesture, and said "papa, no, papa, stop, papa no".

Then he put his finger in the air, and said "IDEA!!!" Then..."Tickle."

Robert tickled him, they giggled, and the monster scare was gone.
post #171 of 191
Nik was messing around with the vacuum cleaner, threatening to open it so the dirt would fall out. I, irritated and irrational, told him that if he didn’t stop we were going to have to get his hair cut (which is something he hates more than anything else.) He told me, “Mom, that doesn’t make good senses!”

He was right, it didn't make any sense!
post #172 of 191

you just made my day!
post #173 of 191
I was in the juice place w/my two daughters getting smoothies-a big, tall man walked in and my three year old looked up at him and said "YOU! Go AWAY!" and started laughing hysterically. At least he thought it was funny, too. :
post #174 of 191
So, this weekend I served our four-year old a dish of pasta with brocoli. As soon as it was in front of her she repressed an expression of disgust and said instead "Mum, it's great, you have a lot of fantasy, but... can I just have some cheese before I eat the pasta?" and then she ran away with her cheese in her little room. I always say, she will grow up to be a diplomat one day.
post #175 of 191
ok, this is more sweet than funny but i had to put it in here. I picked ds up from his nap the other morning and he laid his head on my shoulder and said "mommy, my head doesn't fit in your shoulder anymore." It was just so cute and kinda sad...

I'm sure I'll think of more later after I pick my little muse up...
post #176 of 191
DS, four and a half... "Uh oh, Colby's getting pissed off!"

Thank you, son, for exposing your grasp of language. :*)
post #177 of 191
dd...2 1/2....the other day when asked to help pick up her toys, replies in all seriousness and a little bit of a whine "I CAN"T....I HAVE NO HANDS" ...and hides her fingers inside her hands!

And last week comes crying to me..."Momma....I have a headache in my tummy!"
post #178 of 191
Today after my three year old covered himself and the entire sofa in peanut butter: :

Me (seeing the colossial mess for the first time): OH MY! What did you do?

Ds: "Be happy!" <proud little grin> "I taste good."
post #179 of 191
I'm not a mama yet, but this was too funny to pass up.. I study the history of tattoos, and have a few myself. I have a beautiful picture of a tattooed lady from a 1920's sideshow on my computer. to show off her full body dragon tatto, the woman is naked, but she is composed to hide boobs and vagina.. My boyfriend's niece, Amanda is nine, and seeing this on my computer says "Oooooooh! you have a naked lady on your computer!!!!"(in that "you're getting in trouble" voice)
ME: Yeah, but see how pretty her tattoo is?
A: You have tattoos.
ME: yes, but this picture was from a long time ago when people didn't know anyone with tattoos.
A: A long long time ago? What, like the EIGHTIES?

Also, a few weeks ago, we went up to see her and her new sister, and to visit my boyfriends sister. we went out to dinner, and amanda rode with us, because we're way more fun than her parents (whole 'nother story there).. her dad drive's like a maniac, and as we're navigating sacramento traffic and trying to keep up with him cutting across all the lanes and such without signaling, her mom calls us on the cellphone to try and explain where we're going... and Amanda asks plainly, "is daddy trying to get us killed?"
post #180 of 191
Reviving this thread because dd (23mos) totally cracked us up the other day. Dh and I had barely just woken up and were laying in bed. We hear this little voice from the side of the bed, "Da kitty pooped, Mommy."

Now, dd sometimes pretends that her dolls and stuffed animals poop, and we have to change their diapers. So I turn to look at her and realize she's not holding a stuffed kitty. I look at her suspiciously, "Are YOU the kitty?"

Her response: "Meow."

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