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What's the funniest thing your child has said lately? - Page 5

post #81 of 191
just now, while cuddling at the computer, "i'm petting your boobies!"

and she was
post #82 of 191
My little boy was nursing on the right breast...quite loudly too...high-pitched kind of squealing/slurping sounds.
He stopped and said, "Um, Mom...this one needs oil. It's squeaking."
post #83 of 191
oh i forgot about the conversation dd had with my dad.

DD- look at the leaf!

Gpa- Who makes the leaves?

DD- I don't know.

Gpa- God makes the leaves.

DD- God? I never met him!
post #84 of 191
Okay, I thoguht I'd share this conversation a friend's 4 yo DD had with her - her DD has had several major heart operations to correct birth defects.

DD - Mommy, is god extinct?
Mom - huh?
DD - At school we talked about how the dinasaurs aren't around anymore so they are extinct. God isn't around, is he extinct?
Mom - No, God is in your heart
DD - Really? Did the doctors see him when they were in there?

The poor mom as if she didn't have enough to go through with the surgeries, her daughter just doesn't doesn't miss a beat!
post #85 of 191
Originally Posted by supahero View Post
I was nursing the baby, when my non-verbal almost-3 year old came up and kept handing me his sippy cup for more water. I kept saying "you have to wait, sweetie", "just a minute" etc. My daughter walked over and holding my leather-bound diary said, "according to my research, when someone is breastfeeding - you have to wait."
omg that is hilarious!
post #86 of 191
Last night M wanted me to time her while she jumped to see how long she could stay airborne. I said, "Almost a second." She frowned and said, "I sure don't like gravity very much."
post #87 of 191
The other day I was cleaning my son after a particularly messy diaper and he learned the word "scrotum." He thought it was the funniest word ever. Then he said, "Scrotum. Scrotum. Can we have risotto for dinner?"
post #88 of 191
My son, age 3.5, was telling me about motorcycles. He was really into the descriptions and what he was telling me, and in excitement started talking about the 'mud across' racing. Because, you know, they get mud all across them.

Mud across = motocross

Best part - I have NO IDEA where he picked this up. Mythbusters, maybe? Anyway, I about died in laughter!
post #89 of 191
my three year old dd was helping me go through her old baby clothes, and as I carried some big boxes from the garage into the house she said "I can't imagine working so hard, because I'm just a little imp!" later that same day I got off the phone after a irritating call and said "pain in the butt" and she said "you're a pain in the butt!" I laughed and responded in kind, and she said "you're a pain in two butts!" I cracked up!
post #90 of 191
My friend is a nanny and one of her kids got out of the shower yesterday, rubbed his shins and said he needed lotion for this part of him.

Nanny: Do you know what that part's called?

4year old: No

Nanny: It's your shins

4year old: OK I need some lotion for my shin and my baby cows (his calves).

post #91 of 191
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
Just remembered another one!

When DS was about 2 1/2, I decided I was going to give him a new "big word" each day, explain to him what it meant, and ask him to try to use the word in sentences throughout the day. The first word I gave him was "suggestion." After a few days of doing this and him not using the words in sentences, I had given up. A few days later (about two weeks from the beginning of this idea), I was trying to wash behind his ears in the tub, and he busts out with, "I have a SUGGESTION (said very loudly). Don't do that anymore."
: : "I have a SUGGESTION!" Sigh... good stuff. See! Sometimes you really can't tell when they're retaining all that stuff!
post #92 of 191
Man, these are hilarious... I'm drawing a blank on anything nearly as hysterical as any of these but I did have a funny potty moment with DS.

Note: The only thing we really use the dreaded "Good Job!" for is pooping in the potty.

DS: Mommy, potty?
Me: Yep
DS: Mommy, poopy?
Me: Yep
I finish going, DS inspects the, uh, deposit and flushes the pot. Turns to me and says, jumping up and down "GOOD JOB POTTY MOMMY! GOOD JOB POTTY MOMMY! FIVES! FIVES!" (We also do high fives after successful trips to the pot ) I have to say, I've never felt so good about taking a dump before.
post #93 of 191
The other day, my son (4 on halloween) and I were talking about different soft things we like to touch...

DS: I like petting Cheyenne and Hectis (our dog and cat), they are soft.
Me: Yes, they are. And your blanket is very soft too!
DS: Mmm hmm... and rabbits are soft. VERY soft!
Me (touching his cheek): Well, you're the softest thing I like to touch.
DS (giving me that exasperated type of look: Mommy. Humans are NOT THINGS!

He's got a point, though
post #94 of 191
DD was staring out the window thinking to herself and compulsively began explaining to me that
"Mom, Brian (DP) told me he stepped on a bee when he was younger.
You're supposed to let the stinger fall out so that it doesn't get infected, and when a bee loses it's stinger it dies.
I know that if you rub clay into a bee sting it's supposed to make it feel better.
By the way, our garden is full of clay.
Nama wanted me to tell you that that's why you're flowers aren't growing well.":
I'm not sure what prompted this little monologue (perhaps she saw a bee?) but at least it reminded her of the message that my mom asked her to pass on to me

I love how systematically her little brain works sometimes!
post #95 of 191
Ds (3) like to ask people if they want to play with his wee wees. We have to explain alot that "this little piggy went to market...........wee wee wee all the way home" was one of his fave games when he was younger. We think its just to cute to try and correct.

post #96 of 191
Oooh I just remembered another funny:

DD likes to make lists of things, especially drawn categories of objects. One day she was doing a drawing and asked me "What does a flamango look like again?"
Me: It's pink and stands on one leg?

Her: No!! It's not an animal!

Me: ??? Um, okay can you explain it to me?

Her: You know, the fruit! FLA-MANGO?!!! (and holds up her list of fruit drawings)

Me: OOOOOHhhh, you mean MANGO bwahahaa!!
post #97 of 191
At a needlework group last night I had given 3yo dd a puzzle to keep her occupied at the table, she dropped a piece and was getting upset because she couldn't find it. So I pointed out that it was on the floor under her chair and told her she could get down to pick it up. She looked straight at me and said "You pick it up, you're the parent" Well I just burst out laughing to the astonishment of some of the less crunchy people at the table!
post #98 of 191
We were doing Brain Quest questions on a car trip. I was showing him a picture of a picnic and the question asked, "What do you call a meal that you only eat outside?" My ds thought for a moment and then said with great excitement, "A popsicle!" Hmmm...maybe we've been eating too many fruit pops!
post #99 of 191
My three year old calls his tennis shoes "antenna shoes". And yesterday, his little brother was messing with his toy phone with buttons, and he loudly yelled, "HEY Quit Pushing my Buttons!" I got a big kick out of it....ds is autistic, and it's rare to hear him say such "normal" kid stuff
post #100 of 191
Ada (4), to me, as i'm getting out of the shower: you should put your clothes on, mama. don't walk around naked.

me, thinking that maybe she is starting to be concerned about privacy: okay. i will. but why?

ada: well, so you wouldn't pee on the carpet, that's why.
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