Post-due blues...anyone else?

[quinbearzmama]

Hey mamas-
Any of you in the post-due holding pattern feeling depressed and desperate? I am 40+6 and had a major meltdown at 3am last night...thinking irrational thoughts like my body is failing me, something is wrong with the baby and that an induction/c-section is inevitable. Fortunately I woke up realizing that I may have no control over when the baby comes, and may not have complete control over how the baby is going to come- but I can control my attitude and I need to stay positive.

I know I still have time...but I am so afraid of medical interventions. Guess I just needed to post this thread to vent and get some support. Tomorrow is my next midwife appt. and apparently this practice requires an NST and vaginal exam at 41 weeks ( I have refused the latter throughout this pregnancy.) I had an absolutely beautiful birth with DS #1 and it breaks my heart to think that this baby might not get the same experience. Help

[Summerland]

I know how you feel!! I really dont want to have to get to the point of having to be induced, so i feel like i want this baby to hurry up and come out.

[gwinith]

am i the only one melting down aside from the worry of inductions?

although i'm not freaking about induction (40wks +6 days)... i did have a serious meltdown last nite when DH didn't want to to help me put some junk into the storage room... after it'd been sitting in the 'baby's room" for over a week. he got mad b/c i wanted to do it asap, and he wanted to do it later, which means 10pm which is way too late for me, and i feel like i need to oversee these tasks otherwise they dont' get done... so i got mad and started doing it myself until i was crying and got so angry at him ... he saw how serious i was about it and he started helping me... or he saw i was going to hurt myself and was worried... or i had manipulated the situation emotionally and he did what i wanted him to do... not sure WHAT was the turning point... but it certainly felt awful, and afterward i just couldn't stop crying for a long time...

over the next while we talked it out to a reasonalbly loving place until we felt connected again but then a few hours later, when we went to sleep at 11pm i awoke at 2:30am from a horrid nightmare that i had somehow in my dream wished my mother and my step father dead (even though they both died in 2005, 7 months apart)... and in my dream, they both dropped dead right in front of me after i wished it. i awoke feeling i was sinking into a deep dark emotional place and have been up since 3am now.

on one hand i feel so calm and welcoming in this pregnancy and for this babe but now "all of a sudden" i just feel like i am heading into some dark territory and it scares me b/c i want only positive vibes for my babe... i was thinking if i keep acting like this, or having dreams like this, i'm going to scare my baby into not wanting to be born.
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i can't even call any of my support girlfriends due to the early hour. but i keep wondering if i need an emergency therapy session? quick before i go into labor? ... but i don't even have a therapist.

[gwinith]

update to the freaky dream

I've realized WHY the freaky dream. It was meant to get me thinking about the one year anniversary of my mom's death- October 9th... and I need to come to terms NOW with the possibility that babe may share that date as his BIRTH date...

My needing to realize and accept this I realized to day is of the utmost impoprtance. So first of all, October 9th is thanksgiving day in canada this year and how appropriate to have our baby born on such an auspicious day... the other thing is that although I have NEVER been superstitious nor reflective about any 'death days' (and I've had a lot of people die in my life) my mother was always very superstitious, even after years of someone's death day... I never quite understood it... anyway, I realized today that IF our baby is born on her death day, it will only be very auspicious and I will see it a clear sign that my mother, although unable to be directly in our lives, is just making sure that she will always be connected to us and our baby... and I truly feel it would be a pretty neat thing if that happened.

But I needed to go thru this... b/c I realized I was fearing that since I had not put any thought into what it might mean.

So the bad dream was a way of bringing that to my consciousness.... phew... good thing i found a therapist- inside myself!