Potty Traing 4 y/o boy

[kidsandmama]

I am getting very frustrated with potty training our 4 year old son. He has been potty trained in regards to urination for about 1 year. But when he needs to have a bm he asks for a diaper, goes off by himself and within 10 minutes or so he is back to have his diaper taken off. That is the only time he wears a diaper. So I know he is ready physically. But I believe emotionally he may not be ready. I'm not sure why.

My husband has tried to push him in the past, and perhaps too hard. But for the last 2-3 months we haven't brought the issue up very often. We told him that we would take him to get an ice cream sundae when he he goes poopie in the toilet. We have watched a video designed for kids and that seemed to interest him a little. But he does not sit voluntarily on the toilet or potty chair.

A while ago he said he would go poopie on the toilet when he turned 4. So, when he turned 4, we said it was time for him to go on the toilet. But now all he will do is have his bm in his underwear. I try to remind him throughout the day, but he does not want to sit on the toilet.

I know that all kids potty train eventually. But how do I get there?

Any help from other people would be appreciated. Thanks.

Collette

[imakebelieve]

Hi Colette,
I know what you are going through. My ds just started using the potty 2 weeks short of his 4th birthday. He would use the potty at home, but insisted on a diaper when we were out and he still slept in one, though he always woke up dry. I was under some pressure, subtle, but pressure. "oh, is he still in diapers" that kind of thing. He didn't care at all. He would have kids at the park ask him why he was wearing diapers and he would just say, "because I still do, that's all".

I was pretty comfortable with just letting him go at his own pace. A few weeks before he started going on the potty "full time", my friend heard him say "I just go in my diaper because I am too lazy to go in the potty. I don't have to stop playing, I just go in my diaper". Still wondering where he heard the term "lazy" since we never use that word.

Every morning I would ask him "Diaper, pull up or undies" and he would say diaper. Well, one morning he asked "Does Luke Skywalker wear diapers?" no "Does he wear pullups" no "Then I am done with diapers forever, I am moving on." He did fine, even in Disney World. I have to remind him fairly often because he doesn't want to stop whatever he is doing and go, and he will hold it for hours. A very busy kid!

And he hasn't looked back since. Your little guy will get it. Probably one day like that when you least expect it. We never used any pressure or rewards, we just let him go at his own pace. We don't even say potty trained, because that would imply that we had something to do with it and he basically did it himself. They all get there. Some are younger and some are older. Maybe the more of an issue it is, the more some kids dig their heels in.

I think there are lots of kids who use a diaper for a bm, just as you describe. He might just need to do that for a while longer. My ds had the idea that once he was using the potty, he could no longer nurse, I made sure he understood that he could as long as he needed to.

I don't know if this was much help. But, good luck and he will eventually get there, don't worry

[mplsmom]

My SIL had a difficult time teaching my nephew to have a BM in the potty. He would have to be stark naked to even try!!!!
My DD is 26 months, so we are just thinking about starting, but her is some of the wisdom that I have collected:
Try a different potty seat, some kids respond to the kind that hook onto the adult seat.
A friend did a bean jar. Every time her child went potty, the child put a bean in a small jar. When the jar was full, the child was able to pick something special to do. My friend reported that it took two jars of beans to get the child use to using the potty!!
Try a little positive peer pressure. Invite a friend over who uses the potty. No pressure, just a chance for your DS to see that other kids use the potty.

[BathrobeGoddess]

My first thought is that maybe he is a little scared of sitting on the toilet. You know, can't see what is below your bum...