very sad,depressed and generally bummed out right now... - Page 2

[aisraeltax]

please don't have the surgery. A friend of mine had a close friend die from it only a year ago.

good luck with whatever you decide re: TTC #4.

preg. weight can be so hard to lose. My babe is already 9 months and Im still struggling. I never struggled like this with teh first 2.

s

[amyjeans]

hi mamas- I cancelled my appt today, because the girls and I have a terrible cold we're dealing with.
So last night I spilled my guts out to my dh and begged him not to respond, but listen, which he did. It was nice but frightening to tell him how I felt. I feel so ugly right now. and even if we wanted to get pregnant, I don't think sex would occur. that's one of my issues. I'm not sleeping, no interest in anything and have zero energy. I would love to just crawl into bed and sleep for a few days.
Sorry - tmi I guess. I rescheduled the appt for the 21st, here's hoping.
Thanks for listening.

[ecstaticmama]

I'm so sorry, Amy. I'm sending you lots of warm energy

Maybe take some valerian root to help you sleep? It always helps me.

[amyjeans]

update

Well, I had my appt with my GP, who happens to be our family dr.
She is mainstream but does not judge us based on our choices. (how nice!)
The good news: I am still alive and should be for some time!
The bad? Well, my BP is 120/70 ON MEDS. I asked if I could go off the meds and see what happens. She chuckled and said, perhaps if you make a lifestyle change and drop 40lbs, we'll talk. Now I want to go off meds, lose weight so I can be pregnant with baby #4. If I have high bp- I would want to birth under supervision. I am too afraid of what could happen.
So I tell her this, and of course she is opposed to homebirth.(surprise?) I nodded my head andsid, I know where you stand on this and you know where I stand. let's leave it at that.
So we move on. I said, I was considering the bypass surgery. She is all for it, unless I plan on more kids (which I am), then she said not to do it until I was done with babies. The concern is that after the surgery, one of the complications is poor absorption of vital nutrients and becoming anemic.
I've been there, not any fun!. If I become pregnant, then any nutrients I get would go straight to the baby, and I would get nothing.
Okay. So now I need to lose weight, get off BP meds, stablize my bp, to get pregnant.
Then she asks how my moods have been. Well-you know live hasn't been a bowl of sunshine lately. SO I tell her how I have been feeling, depression, etc. She asks me to take a short test and guess what??? I have the classic signs of being bi-polar!
Super~
So now, she reccommends a counselor and some meds- but the meds and not to be taken by NURSING women. Now baby #3 is 7 mo. She said to look at the big picture- making it to 6 months is great, 1 yr is better for nursing, but I need to think of my health.
After that- I fell silent. I am totally devistated.
I don't know what to do.
what do you think?

thanks for your input!

[amyjeans]

bump

[aisraeltax]

Originally Posted by amyjeans

So now, she reccommends a counselor and some meds- but the meds and not to be taken by NURSING women. Now baby #3 is 7 mo. She said to look at the big picture- making it to 6 months is great, 1 yr is better for nursing, but I need to think of my health.
After that- I fell silent. I am totally devistated.
I don't know what to do.
what do you think?

thanks for your input!

i dont know Amy. this seems a common reaction from medication professionals.

you need to do what you need to do. i will tell you that i have ADD and anxiety. and since dh and i have separated, im pretty sure i would qualify for a dx of depression about right now. Before getting preg., i was taking Concerta and Lexapro for my ADD and anxiety. I stopped taking them and wont take them again until im not nursing (ds is 9 months old right now and i plan to CLW). yes, life is much "clearer" on the meds but its a decision i have chosen to make for the health of my son. Please don't get me wrong...i am not judging you if you decide to take the meds instead of nurse. But please think about this really hard. Sometimes medications dont work for ppl. Many med's like these take several weeks/months to kick in, in the meantime leaving you very tired, etc. You can read the manufacturers inserts on the specific ones.

My therapist used to say that the medication is more important than nursing if lack of the medication is causing you to not be able to take care of your life or your children. I guess that means you have to figure out which is more important.

ADD causes me a lot of problems with an infant and no medication. However, im a sahm right now and dont have to have my full brain power to function. if i were working, i would have a lot more problems than i do right now. Anxiety i usually try to deal with by chilling out with my knitting, drinking a cup of tea, posting on mdc or calling a friend. none of these remedies is as easy as the medication but i cant imagine giving my baby formula.

maybe you just need to re-evaluate your time schedule here. there are many things pointing to delaying your TTC, MOST of them involve your health. Maybe G-d, or some deity, is sending you a message to wait. I know thats not real nice to hear but its something.

I would love to be involved with a weight loss support group if you are interested. i need to lose my baby weight. im 5'9 so my weight gain doesnt show AS MUCH sometimes (ppl are a little surprised when i say how much i need to lose), but i need to lose between 30-40 lbs too (there, i said it).

i hope you get more support here. i hope you can think about the obstacles that are in your path as possible warning signs and not feel so resentful towards them. i know im asking alot here. if you begin now, though, you may be able to accomplish some of your goals by Jan.

s

rach

[Ligmom]

Hey Amy,
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with all of these health issues while wanting to TTC. I totally understand where you are coming from...a year and a half ago, I was 100+ lbs overweight and had been for years. Instead of gastric bypass, I opted to do Lap-Band surgery, and I have been so happy with it. It is different from gastric bypass in that it doesn't change how your body absorbs food/nutrients and it is fully reversible. I lost 60 lbs. the first year post-op, and then I found out I was pg with #4 So far, I have had no issues with my band during pg, although I am going to have some of the fluid taken out in the next couple of weeks so that I can eat a little more...baby seems hungry ALL the time right now

I hope you can resolve these issues and find a solution that feels right to you. PM me if you want to ask any questions or just to chat.

Leigh-ann

[talk de jour]

[amyjeans]

thanks so much! I am glad to have you mamas to talk to.

[wasabi]

Amy what is the name of the drug she was recommending? Many drugs for depression are indeed safe for nursing mothers though uninformed doctors continue to tell women they need to wean to take necessary medication. I was also going to suggest considering the lap band if you have a very major amount of weight to lose.

[Mama Dragon]

There are most definitely depression meds you can take while nursing. I was going to suggest the lap band as well but got beat to it. I think it would help a lot to get on anti depressants so you can pull yourself out of that, then you can see other areas of your life more clearly. Then if you still choose to, get a lap band or similar reversible WLS and take it from there. I truely wish you the best and hope you can get healthy and have more babies soon

[amyjeans]

on a lighter note...
I'm talking to my dh about this, saying that I am just looking to feel better overall, he says

"Maybe I should start smokin' dope!"





man, he's funny!

[Kundalini-Mama]

Similar boat, not sure if I'll even be able to have more kids.

Lots of love to you,
Amy

[~Mamaterra~]

Amy,

I'm very concerned about a doctor who is willing to make a serious psychiatrict diagnosis without seeking specialized advice. A GP has NO BUSINESS making a diagnosis regarding bi-polar, manic depressive or any psychiatric other diagnosis. That is like a mechanic telling me that I need a hysterectomy!!! (Well, maybe thats' a little overkill, but you get my point).

Only a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist should be testing you for that. Bi-polar cannot be diagnosed with a "short test". It involves indepth psychomotric testing by one of the above professionals. It sound like you maybe clinically depressed, but again, that diagnosis should only be made by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, preferrably the former because a psychologist will look at all of the cognitive/health issues whereas psychiatrists tend to just reach for the prescription pad. Depression is one of the most misdiagnosed diseases and even doctors, especially GPs' tend to misdiagnose this.

Explain to the psychologist that nursing is a priority for you and he/she will take that into serious consideration.

[Turkish Kate]

I've been following and can't keep my fingers from the keyboard any longer. My cat has all the symptoms of bi-polar disorder, too, but I'm not putting her on meds. I agree with the PP about a GP not being qualified to make a concrete diagnosis of BPD or any other psychiatric disorder. From the conversation with your doctor that you described above, you never talked about your thyroid. While all of your symptoms can easily be caused by any number of issues, I would start with the thyroid. Your thyroid is the master gland of most of the issues you are having--energy level, depression, weight issues, etc. Please consider asking your doctor for a referral to an endocrinologist who can assist you with managing your thyroid. If you already have an endocrinologist (and you really should), please call for an appointment right away. If you haven't had your thyroid function tested and meds adjusted since the baby's birth, you are well overdue.

I know what it's like to want another baby so badly you can taste it, but you really need to get your own health straightened out first.

[Kundalini-Mama]

wanted to add.

I've struggled w/depression and anxiety for years. Mainly some PTSD and Generalized anxiety d/o. I was on tons of meds, so much so that I got into a car accident b/c I fell asleep due to being so doped up. 65 mph crashed into a guard rail, I drove away (a Saturn), and I'm lucky I didn't kill someone.

I have been free of all of that for sometime after visiting my homeopath. With one remedy it was all gone. He is in VT if you are near & I am curing my breast cancer w/his help.

LMK if you want more info,
Amy

[amyjeans]

I am in Ct, but thanks to a kind mama her who introduced me to Wilsons Temperature Syndrome, I got into contact with a naturopath/open-minded doctor and will be meeting him Nov 2. He focuses primarily with hypo-thyroidism.
I agree that the thyroid issue wasn't discussed much with my gp- she just takes my bloodwork and adjusts my meds accordingly. I guess it's kinda good she's not an endo- all the endo's I have spoken to refuse to check t3 levels, but only focus on t4 uptake which is totally rediculous (for those of you follow who metabolism at all)I do need to find a specialist (hoping this new dr will be the one!)
Also- I HATE MEDS! I would so prefer not to take any for many reasons. Mainly because of the unknown reactions.
My dad was on lithium and according to my mom- he never changed his mood. He was never excited or upset...just there. That frightens me. I totally don't want to be a med-puppet.
My gp never mentioned any other meds, and now that I think of it, she really has no business diagnosing me this way. I need to see a professional for accurate information.
Thanks again for all your support. Its wonderful to get help from you mamas!
And if you have anything else to add, please feel free to post or -pm me.
Lots of love
aj

ps- sorry if I didn't answer all you questions- still processing.
I don't know what the name of the meds are.

[RoadWorkAhead]

2 thoughts: CDNmom is right...bi-polar does has certain criteria, but just about any one can look bipolar on a bad day....Its a serious diagnosis that is over used.

Second thought, have you tried apple cider vinegar for your BP? It may take a while to get the right amt. for you, but my mom has had great success controling her lifelong HBP (started at age 16) with just ACV. She now takes a little less than a tbsp. per day with great luck. Cinnamon is also a natural BP reducer. Good lcuk!

[doula mary]

There are many many meds that are safe for BF. Check out the book "Medications and Mother's Milk"

Honestly, I don't know if you ARE depressed or not??? However, if you are not feeling well, and frustrated about your weight, then I can bet it can be pretty consuming and overwhelming.

I would suggest TRYING to be active this week for 15 minutes a day

Next week make it 20 etc.

Don't DIET, but change portion size cut out one treat like ice cream.

Consider acupuncture for depression, and thyroid

Also biofeedback is excellent for the high blood pressure. It is worth considering.

mary

[beanma]

amy,

i'm not overweight, but have high BP on meds (higher than yours, too less than 130/90 is good for me) and am hypothyroid, too. being overweight doesn't always trigger the high BP. my sister is a marathon runner and very very slim and she still has high BP and is on meds. the DASH diet ( http://heart.healthcentersonline.com...n/dashdiet.cfm ) is good for high BP and isn't a great diet modification for most folks. worth checking into.

Deep yoga breathing can lower BP, too ( http://www.annieappleseedproject.org/deepyogbreat.html ) and there's even a device for regulating your breathing on the market (there's always some gadget for sale! -- http://www.amazon.com/RESPeRATE-Bloo.../dp/B0007NOY3E ).

i wouldn't think bp of 120/70 would preclude more babies, but your overall health might or might not. if you decide to take the plunge you should read up on preeclampsia. gossamer has a thread here all about it. i know a woman who had it with her 3rd pg when her other two were fine and she wasn't much overweight at all if any. sometimes it just happens. they had to deliver her son prematurely, but mom and baby were both fine after a NICU stay. i, personally, if i were going to have more babies would be happy to go into a pg with 120/70 bp since that's low for me.

as for your depression issues, have you looked at the postpartum depression forum. it doesn't have to come on right after birth is my understanding.

also, are you on synthoid for your thyroid? some folks swear by armour thyroid. i've not tried it myself, but have read glowing testimonials. check out www.thyroid.about.com -- i think she has some info on there about it.

i think all the problems you've layed out are totally fixable and some might not even need to be fixed. i would avoid surgery if possible. that's my general principle on that. do everything you can first before surgery.

hth some, sorry so disjointed. kids are clamoring for my attn.