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Can it be a new rule in the TP...

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
that people can not use guilt to try to sell their stuff? I see threads like that all the time..."Help, I have to pay the bills! PLEASE buy my stuff!" It bothers me. It could just be personal. Maybe it doesn't bother anyone else.

I wish things could just be for sale or not. Not people trying to give reasons why their stuff should sell more than others or trying to make people feel sorry for them and guilted into buying something.

Maybe it's just me though...
post #2 of 28
We'll discuss this and see if it is an issue of concern that perhaps a "guideline" can address.
post #3 of 28
I completely agree with the OP--it does bug me--but I'm not sure how I feel about yet another TP rule. I'll have to think about this.
post #4 of 28
I also agree with the OP. I do not like seeing reasons I should buy peoples stuff. I want to buy it becasue I like it, not becasue of a guilt trip. I have seen this technique used several times by the same person.
post #5 of 28
I agree on a personal level....but am unsure if it should be a rule....
post #6 of 28
While it might be annoying to some potential buyers, I think people should be able to sell their stuff however they please. If people don't like it, they don't have to buy from that person. There's no reason to feel guilty. It's not your fault that someone is in dire straights, and it's not your responsibility to get them out of it. Just move on to the next post if it bothers you.
post #7 of 28
yikes, i just did this... its more of a reason the diapers are for sale than a plea for financial help, but someone might see it as one. who would decide what is an acceptable explanation for a reason for the sale.

also, i personally do not mind when people explain if they are selling for financial need. if they are selling the same thing as someone else, i will tend to buy the MINs item, knowing it will help her. JMO, though.
post #8 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
While it might be annoying to some potential buyers, I think people should be able to sell their stuff however they please. If people don't like it, they don't have to buy from that person. There's no reason to feel guilty. It's not your fault that someone is in dire straights, and it's not your responsibility to get them out of it. Just move on to the next post if it bothers you.

:
post #9 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
While it might be annoying to some potential buyers, I think people should be able to sell their stuff however they please. If people don't like it, they don't have to buy from that person. There's no reason to feel guilty. It's not your fault that someone is in dire straights, and it's not your responsibility to get them out of it. Just move on to the next post if it bothers you.



i aslo buy things from moms needing cash or paypal for bills or new diapers or whatever. enough people obviously feel the same or it wouldn't work to sell stuff. i don't see what's wrong with mamas helping mamas. it's allover mdc, why not in the tp?
post #10 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Orchid View Post
yikes, i just did this... its more of a reason the diapers are for sale than a plea for financial help
That totally makes sense to me. Sometimes I wonder, if this item is so great, why is it for sale anyway? In such a case, knowing the seller has a reason (whether it is that the babe outgrew it, they got more than they needed as gifts, or they need the cash) helps me to make a decision.
post #11 of 28
I edited a thread in the TP yesterday because of this thread here. I didn't want to be seen as just someone making excuses to sell something. It never bothered me to see others do it, so I didn't think it bothered others this way.
post #12 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by aja-belly View Post


i aslo buy things from moms needing cash or paypal for bills or new diapers or whatever. enough people obviously feel the same or it wouldn't work to sell stuff. i don't see what's wrong with mamas helping mamas. it's allover mdc, why not in the tp?
Yep.
post #13 of 28
I agree with the OP. Although I do not mind a quick reason why they are selling (so potential buyers know there is nothing wrong w/ the item) it is so much better as a short note like "Nothing wrong with the dipes--just trying to raise some cash" or "Clothes are great, just need to get some bigger ones." It's the titles and prefaces of "PLEASE PLEASE I need cash to pay the (insert bill here) or money for groceries because (insert story here) PLEASE!!" that bothers me. My Freecycle has a rule against including begging and stories in your posts as well.

Basically I just think it is unfair to the other selling mamas. IMO it generates more potential buyers when you have a sob story because people want to help, but at the expense of the next mama who may need the money even more but doesn't want to put her story out there. And she shouldn't have to. So then mamas who really need the money may feel pressured to add their stories too or it ends up being a war of whose story is sadder. KWIM? I hate sounding like hard : and I really feel for the mamas who need help but I just think it should be fair for everyone.
post #14 of 28
I agree with StrawberryFields. I don't think the story is always a testimony to the biggest need either, but sometimes just the willingness to post in that manner. And while I think they are mostly genuine, there are occasions when I have my doubts.
post #15 of 28
Ditto StrawberryFields x 2.

I don't know if it needs to be a rule or not, but it makes me feel guilty, like the mama's not going to be able to pay her bills because I won't buy her stuff that I don't need. :
post #16 of 28
the only reason I have looked at some of the for sale threads is because of the creative titles

ETA: there is no such thing as "fair for everyone"
post #17 of 28
I would not like to see this happen. There is usually an "excuse" ( I don't like useing that word because of the negative connotation that is associated iwth it) on why the stuff is for sale. Out grown, have two, did not work etc.... I think that it is sad that to make it so that a certain "excuse" cannot be used. What about other things that would make you feel guilty? What if a mama is getting rid of her stash because her babe passed away? Would you not want to know about that because your of not wanting to feel guilt? I don't think that it is right. And furthermore, should this happen and mama's not be able to state that something is being sold because the family is in major need, everyone is going to know anyhow because there will be no reason given. It will just become proverbial elephant in the room that no one wants to/can acknowledge.
post #18 of 28
That's the nice thing about a free market: If you don't like the posts with reasons, then you are free to not buy from them, and you can go buy from the mom's who don't list reasons.

If you are drawn to the sadder stories, you can buy from them.

No one is being forced to buy from anyone, and if you feel guilty, that's your problem, not the problem of the seller. If it turns you off, don't buy from them, then there is no unfairness to the other posters.

Do you really think another rule about posting needs to be put into place?
post #19 of 28
Are there really so many rules?
I think a few of us agreed with SF b/c she stated that expressing need is acceptable, but it's the long desperate stories that one doesn't want to wade through. As is people who don't like it probably are doing what you say- just skipping over posts that they don't like and buying from those that don't bother them. But I don't see what's wrong wanting some simple guidelines along the lines of leaving out lengthy emotional appeals.

Likewise (and I don't think this can be a 'rule' but it illustrates the unfairness and distate I sometimes feel over compassion) I dislike it when I'm selling something and someone will say "I don't have any money. I'm broke! But I really want this! Will you take $20 less?" Regardless of what I might want/need the funds for, I wouldn't bother selling it if I had wads of cash laying around. They could offer less, say that's the best they can do right now, and just leave it at that. Occasionally I feel like the need is being used to manipute others possibly also in need. I want to help out other mamas too but sometimes it just doesn't feel right.
post #20 of 28
I find it okay when someone mentions they are doing it for a specific reason. But I too, am turned off by the long sob stories. Granted, they may be true, but everyone is trying to sell stuff. I don't think the long stories are all that professional. Or often nessecary. IMO,they can be kind of degrading. You shouldn't have to degrade yourself to make a sale.
I also don't like it when I put a very low price and people get miffed because I won't go as low as the highest they are willing to pay. If i had the money, I wouldn't need to sell it!
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