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The Bumbo Baby Sitter (baby chair) - Page 9

post #161 of 180
That said, I would like to address a few of the comments that were made to me:
Quote:
Originally Posted by momileigh View Post
I'm guessing you don't "hold down the fort" as much as "keep the mommy wars' fires blazing."
Actually, I do not get involved in the threads where there are "wars" going on about BF vs FF, CIO vs co-sleeping etc. I will try to nudge someone in the 'right' direction though. Say, if they are having a hard time BFing and are thinking about giving up I might say "You might try some fenugreek and a nursing vacation to help your supply come back", and then I will have to put a little disclaimer on there saying "but you are not a failure if you have to switch to formula, you tried your best!" Or if someone is having trouble with a colicky baby, I might suggests a sling. If someone is considering CIO, I will say "have you considered co-sleeping?" and describe all the benefits of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by momileigh View Post
And SO WHAT if someone uses a walker and their baby likes it? Or if they use a baby bucket sometimes? I know BILLIONS of AP moms who occasionally make use of these items. Hey, I admit, I rejoice when I see a mom in the mall with her baby in a sling and no stroller. But most moms with slings IME also have a stroller with them. I HATE to see a baby carried around by a handle when they ought to be carried close. But if your babe is asleep in their carseat and you choose to leave them sleeping in there while you shop or come in from your car and put away groceries.... There is a place for righteous indignation... and there is a place for accepting moms who make judicious use of modern babycare items.
Hmmmm, I thought that since I was posting on MDC about moms on a mainstream board, that they would know that I was talking about moms who's babies never left the carseat except for a diaper change, or whose kids toddled around the house in a walker alllll day with juice bottle in hand etc. I personally have nothing against "containment devices" as long as they are limited to 10 minutes a day etc. I have on many occasions left my baby in the car seat when she fell asleep and needed a nap. You know, this reminds me of when I post on my mainstream board, I have to write a disclaimer to every statement I make, because someone is bound to take it out of context that I am being judgemental. But I figured that on MDC, people would understand what I mean.
Quote:
Originally Posted by momileigh View Post
Heck, I could jump down your throat for using diapers instead of doing the natural thing and ec'ing. I have a feeling if I did a little home inspection I could find lots of things to judge you for.
Well, since you do seem to enjoy bashing me today, I will go ahead and list all those things. Well lets see, first there's my bouncer. Like I said earlier, since we all need to put our babies down somewhere where they will be happy, I chose that because it is somewhere where she can sit up, and it supports her correctly. I have a swing that was given to us. And while it has never even had a battery, she did sleep in it for the first 5 months of her life. She had severe GERD and choked on her own stomach contents when put on her back. I did not feel like going out and buying a crib so I could use a Tucker sling, so I put her in the swing next to my bed at night so that she could be elevated. Oh, and she even has a binkie, because I do not feel like holding my nipple in her mouth all night after she falls asleep. I have carried her in the car seat when she was sleeping, and I even used it to put her to sleep. I had her in the hospital because I could not find a MW willing to HB in my area. Where she then got a HepB shot, Vit K shot, and eye goup because due to medical complications with me, my husband did not follow her to the nursery to make sure they followed our birth plan that she was not to get any of those things. Yes she does wear cloth diapers, because before I came to MDC, I had never heard of EC. Hmm what else makes me a "bad mother" that you can further attack me for.....I still don't feel that "bond" with my baby that every good mother is supposed to have. She is extremely high needs, and I have never been able to just sit and spend quality time with her. I have to be walking around bouncing her, thinking of different things to distract her from the pain of her reflux. She is 7 months old, and I still have not had one day where I don't cry and feel like pulling my hair out. I have shut myself off from the world because everyone blames her behavior on my parenting. As a result of that, no one else but me can hold her (not even dad). At least once a week, I feel like dropping her off at the hospital and driving far far away. It has taken me over 3 hours (and counting) to write all this, becuase when she naps, she only stays asleep for about 10minutes at a time and I have to keep going and nursing her back to sleep so she gets a decent amount of napping in. So yes, I am a horrible mother, and I find the comments that I "put myself up on a pedestal" (just because I wanted to defend people who don't use a bumbo )extremely hurtful. I have never felt like a better mother than anybody I've ever known.
Quote:
Originally Posted by momileigh View Post
As soon as you're done berating adoptive moms for supplementing their induced lactation with formula, I'm sure I'll have the pleasure of reading your reply.
Wow, I think that was definetely uncalled for. I never brought up the subject of FFing at all. Furthermore, how do you know that my child is biological, or that I even chose to breastfeed? I can understand if you disagree with me that I don't think that bumbos are necessary for everybody, but I think you are taking this way too far here.
This is exactly why I post on a mainstream board, and usually only lurk on MDC. Because even though I am the complete opposite parenting style of the people over there, and it breaks my heart to read about all the poor babies crying until they are hoarse, or having to get fitted with a helmet for positional plagiocephy, at least over there, if you make a comment that someone disagrees with, they do not call you names, attack you personally or your character. They disagree with you and tell you why. While I disagreed with people that a bumbo is the only way that your baby won't suffer needlessly if you are a single mom and you need to put them down, but I NEVER said that anyone who used one was a bad mom or attacked them personally like what was done to me here.
post #162 of 180
~Ryleigh's Mommy~
post #163 of 180
OK, here goes... I have just been following the posts, have not posted in the past, just reading what everbody has to say... do you ladies think that we can just end the discussion now because all I see now is that everybody is lashing out at everybody else, people are getting thier feelings hurt, and I think at some point this thread has stopped being productive. I understand wanting to stand up for what you believe and wanting to defend your comments but if you take a really good look at whats being said, it has now turned to "mud slinging".

Can a moderator close this thread before more "damage" is done?
post #164 of 180
dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?! :
post #165 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrlittle View Post
dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?! :

Oh I know, people get as angry and defensive about the bumbo subject on MDC as people get on the BF vs FF threads on the mainstream boards. I guess we all just want to feel like we are being the best mothers we can be, and when someone challenges that, it hits a nerve.
post #166 of 180
Ryleigh's Mommy
I hope you didn't think that what I said was targeted at you. I want to tell you that you are a good Mom, you may not have bonded with your baby but you do love you baby.
This message is in general
I just hope that others understand that we each have our own ways of parenting and meeting our childrens needs and if the whole family is happy, healthy, and balanced our jo is being done, and even if it isn't parenting is a process that throws curveballs that need to be worked thourgh and overcome in ways individual to each family unit. Feelings have been hurt, and ways of life attacked for no better reason then wanting everyone else to conform to your choice of what you believe is best.
post #167 of 180
certainly not adding any comments, just sending huge hugs to everyone who is so upset by this.
post #168 of 180
I just wanted to clarify that its not the bumbo subject, or even the statements that because I don't use a bumbo, my baby must lie on the floor crying that made me upset (though I did feel the need to defend it), it was the character attacks and name calling that followed my post in defense of people who don't use them that upset me.

So if you didn't call me names, or attack me personally, don't worry, you didn't upset me
post #169 of 180
Ryleigh's Mommy, you admitted yourself that your post, upon rereading, was condescending. I read it and it ticked me off. It DID equate using a Bumbo to CIO. If that isn't how you feel, then I'm *glad.* It means that we have a miscommunication.

Obviously we don't know each other personally and I was reacting not to you as a person, but to what you typed. You have modified your position (by explaining better) so I no longer think you must be a terribly judgmental person.

Now you also know something about me, and that's that when I get ticked off, I can be a little bulldoggish. Sorry.
post #170 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by kidspiration View Post
after reading about some of your health and support issues in this thread and others, it does become apparent that you might have been in need of something to place your daughter in for short periods of time. fully acknowledged that in your case the bumbo was the right choice for you and your family.
THANK-YOU. Thank you for acknowledging that something that is otherwise associated with a lack of attachment and unnatural life style can, in certain circumstances, be a useful item.

Quote:
but can you agree that the bumbo is not the be-all end-all must have baby device that it is often touted to be? i agree that given no other (healthier) options, that it might be of use in certain situations such as yours but i firmly believe that it doesn't belong on every baby's gift registry.
Absolutely! I challenge anyone on the world wide web to find ANY post of mine that advocates, encourages, or otherwise suggests that someone go out and buy a Bumbo. I simply wanted to point out that in *MY* situation it came in very handy. In fact, in the beginning of this thread I actually AGREED with the "developmentally inappropriate" comments. I feel that the Bumbo is talked about under one giant umbrella - Bumbo bad! I feel like I'm being prejudged for something that at the time I didn't see any other alternative too. Yep, I feel backed into a corner. "What, you're on MDC and USE a Bumbo, your kid is gunna end up looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame".

It hurts me almost as bad as when I had to supplement with formula when I was having supply issues and people REPEATEDLY told me how BAD formula was, how it was going HARM my child, and how THEY would never use it. I didn't have a choice. (And in the spirit of always feeling judged, I feel it prudent to point out she has been formula free for 3 and a half months!) Instead of coming down on me for something that can't be avoided, why not just offer some encouragement and support for the situation in general? Just once it would be nice to hear someone say "it hurts you to wear your daughter? That must be awful, I really feel for you". Nope, instead they go on and on and on about how BAD the Bumbo is!!

And what's worse is when someone compares THEIR life to mine, only to follow it up with "and **I** don't need a Bumbo". Yeah? Good for you! That REEEEAAAAAALY frosts me. It's one thing to offer an educated opinion on the subject, such as you have done (this is not directed toward you, just a general thing), but it is another to get on your high horse and proverbially trot around the forums bragging about how anti-device you are. In the presence of my double mastectomy friend I don't flaunt how my 7 month old daughter is still proudly breastfeeding. It's insensitive. I know it's a sore subject with her.

Quote:
the other thing that i am quite disappointed in is your assumptions that all of us lucky non-bumbo using mothers are bonbon eating sahm's that have hired help or family close by and hold their content babies all day, the birds are chirping the angels are singing etc etc etc. oh, and we have superiority complexes.
All I can say is, huh? I'm not understanding. Bon bons, birds chirping, angels singing? Where did you get that from? Is that sarcasm or thinly veiled hostility?

I'm a SAHM and if I haven't got time to eat, how would I have time to eat "bon bons"? Wow. LOL. How you got that out of my post is beyond me. If I'm so desperate for a place to put DD while I pee, why I would imply that all SAHM are listening to the birds sing while they eat candy?

If anything I only wanted to point out that a lot of people here take their 24/7 baby wearing and co-sleeping for granted. You can wear your baby from sun up to sun down? GREAT. I am truly envious of you. You can sleep the whole night scrunched up in bed a with a kung-fo baby? GREAT. I am really truly envious. The only time I think people get "superior" is when the the oneupmanship competitions start - "I don't need a bumbo, well, I don't need a bumbo or a swing, I don't need a bumbo a swing or an bouncy seat".. and so on.

My last post was directed toward Raleigh's Mommy and no one else, certainly not you. Her comment about her husband being out of town and *she* [insert superiority here] doesn't need the Bumbo.

Quote:
in the interest of full disclosure and honesty...i will tell you that i don't know what it's like to go to the bathroom while caring for a young infant. would you like to know why? because for most of the time from when dd was 2 weeks old until she was 5 months old, i had a urinary catheter because my bladder was torn during my horribly interventive birth.
I'm sorry for your problems.


Quote:
so yes, i do feel like it's entirely possible, even in dire situations, to not have to use certain baby containment devices. because i lived it.
I'm glad it worked for you. I tried other things. I tried our stroller (she screamed), I tried the umbrella stroller (couldn't sit upright enough and would fall forward), I tried the baby bathtub with a blanket in it (she rolled out the sides of it). What I was using before the Bumbo was a wicker basket with a blanket in it. Same premise, it held her legs up so she could sit but it scratched her legs when she wiggled the blanket loose, plus it was tippy. So my MIL bought us the Bumbo. I used it for about 3 weeks.

Quote:
and i won't tell anyone to bite me because, well...that's just plain rude
Then I guess I'm rude.
post #171 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ View Post
Ok, I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction to my post, so I went back and reread what I wrote. You are right, and it did sound condescending. Please accept my apologies.
Thank-you. Sorry for telling you to bite me. I don't taste very good anyway.
post #172 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronic Chrissy View Post
If a baby wants to sit before they can and loves her bumbo, then let her have a good time in it and have a good time with her, show her that you are always there and available to meet her needs AND WANTS, even if what she wants isn't what you want.
I totally disagree. If I let my daughter do things simply because she liked them, her diet would consist of dog hair and dust bunnies (or what ever else she can pick up off the floor).

I did't use the Bumbo because my daughter liked it and I want her to have a good time. I used it because when I HAVE to put her down she tollerates it. I don't like the idea people running out and getting it specifically for the purpose of getting their child to sit up before they're ready. That's not why I use it. I could care less whether or not she's sitting up. I used it has a tool, not a pleasure device. I didn't put her in it to play, or for the thrill of sitting up, that's what my lap is for.

As parents we need to be conscious about making decisions that are based on our children's best interests, not making compromises on their best interests in order to keep them "happy". ETA: That may seem contradictory to my point, but I believe, in our situation and given the options, that it was better for her to not be crying.
post #173 of 180
*

it is funny how emotional we get about the Bumbo! Every time this topic comes up on the board there is a flurry of emotion.

Sorry to add to it! Anyway...
post #174 of 180
I would recommend buying a sling before buying a Bumbo. You can always prop the babe with pillows or a boppy or the laundry!

-Debora
post #175 of 180
NOTICE

This horse is officially dead.
Can we please stop beating it?
post #176 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrlittle View Post
dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?! :
Maybe we should have a Bumbo "sticky" . Or have them advertise with MDC .

Should someone start a thread about what emotions come up for us with baby gear? I wonder if that's partly what it's about? I wonder if some people panic when they think of the mounds and mounds of plastic and packaging that flutters around in the universe? It does seem like some of us want acceptance for our parenting practices, and maybe some of us resent NOT being able to buy everything that may be fun to use? And of course some are worried that the mounds of plastic will take over...

Oh well, I'm waxing philosophical. (I'm trying to practice for helping my toddler reason emotions out...)
post #177 of 180
Not until she sings!


La! la la la la la LA!


La! la la la la la LA! La La!!

post #178 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma_goldman View Post
I would recommend buying a sling before buying a Bumbo. You can always prop the babe with pillows or a boppy or the laundry!

-Debora
I have four children and only one has liked the sling. ONE. Also as a big breasted woman who already has back problems, after they got to be about 10lbs (i have little babies) it really began to hurt. I've tried all kinds of slings and its just not my thing. Boppies are nice too, but babies often scooch low and fall over and then SCREAM, same with pillows, same with laundry (which I've done all of that) -- so using a bumbo really isn't that big of a deal and its really no different. Its sitting your baby in something so you can do something else or play with your baby when they cant sit up or the siblings play with the baby while they sit in it.
post #179 of 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheFence View Post
I have four children and only one has liked the sling. ONE. Also as a big breasted woman who already has back problems, after they got to be about 10lbs (i have little babies) it really began to hurt.
I have large breasts too (E's : ) and I always hated wearing my sling in public because my boob would litterally smoosh out the side where the ring is. I swear, it looked like my boob was right about where my hip was. SO embarassing.

I love my wrap and mai tei though. It evenly distributes the weight, and my boobs don't "smoosh" out the side. DD was never really fond of the sling either, she likes being upright in the wraps. I do use it for the hip carry now.
post #180 of 180
OMG TOTALLY hear you on the boob thing! I am a DD on a thin frame, and in a ring sling I look like an absolute moron! When I am out in public I have 6 yards of fabric that I do the Moby wrap thing with and it works much better because my boobs get wrapped up with everything

North_of_60~ I just noticed our DDs were born on the same day. Ryleigh was born at 2:30am on 3/21/06
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