When does the fear subside?

[Cersha]

I'm SO scared that something is going to go wrong. I had a "chemical" (I hate that expression) pregnancy three cycles back, and I'm just SO afraid that something might happen again.

I had my hCG levels done and my progestrone (because of the chemical on my midwife's orders) I got the first blood draw results that confirmed the pregnancy. She didn't give me the actual number for the hCG, but said that it was "high enough" and that she needed to see the second blood draw to make sure that the level is doubling (*cross fingers*) and she said that my progestrone (@ 4 weeks) is 14 something. She said that was good too, but I don't know what the level is supposed to be. Seems low. (pessimistic, much?)

I'm supposed to get the second results tomorrow morning, but will that make me feel better? Or is this fear a permanent mama fear from now on??
I think maybe I'll feel better once I have an ultrasound with a heartbeat....

[ChristineIndy]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

In my experience, pregnancy always brings some of the stress of these "what-ifs" and they do tend to increase after a loss. That doesn't make it any easier, I know. Take it one day at a time, meditate (there are great meditations specifically to reduce/release fear - ) and use MDC for the great support it can be!

Is there anything I can do to help you through this?

Let me know.

Christine

[Cersha]

I've been doing Sweet breath, and that seems to help when it gets bad....but what kind of mediation/pranayama would you suggest (as I note, I think I have some heart chakra blockage, in case you want to speak to that also)

[ChristineIndy]

Meditation for a Calm Heart is WONDERFUL.

Simply sit in Easy pose, with the left hand over the heart center, elbow comfortably at the side, and the right hand held up in Gyan mudra (imagine you were "swearing on the bible" and you'll know where your right hand goes!) The eyes are either half-closed and focused in the distance, or completely closed.

In this position, inhale and suspend the breath, keeping it held in as long as you can (don't push it too hard - you're pregnant!) Then, exhale and hold the breath OUT as long as you can. Inhale, hold, exhale, hold, repeating the cycle. You can start with 3 minutes and build up to 11. It's very healing for the heart chakra and very calming as well (Initially, holding the breath out will bring up some anxiety - it's natural. Try to sit with the feeling and allow it to pass.)

I do this one a LOT!

What style of yoga are you training to teach????

Christine

[Jilian]

Worrying comes with parenting. I'd like to say it goes away, but I worried until the day my DS was born, then when I saw he was healthy I found new things to worry about. I think the pregnancy worrying lessens a bit when you hear the heartbeat, and lessens even more when you start feeling those first kicks. I hope your blood test comes back good and helps you worry a little less.

[Cersha]

They are teaching both a power vinyasa and a more gentle mind body, And I like the mind-body better. I'd like to learn yours....and I would like to learn discovery as well...I guess I like anything where the focus is on the union rather than an exercise...you know??

[Cersha]

Jilian- that is kind of what I thought...it's always something, right?? =)

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow...and I hope it all comes out good....Sticky baby, c'mon!!

[ChristineIndy]

It's interesting to find the sort of yoga you're drawn to, isn't it?

That's Kundalini, all right! It's WONDERFUL. There's plenty of physical stuff, but each class also contains pranayama work, as well as a meditation portion. I find it to be a very balanced, practical approach. (But, I teach it - of course I love it! )

Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa is the most "famous" living Kundalini yoga teacher - her pregnancy book "Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful" (I may have those in the wrong order) is PHENOMINAL. I highly recommend it!!!!

Christine

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by ChristineIndy

Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa is the most "famous" living yoga teacher - her pregnancy book "Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful" (I may have those in the wrong order) is PHENOMINAL. I highly recommend it!!!!

Christine

I'm pretty sure my pregnancy yoga DVD is by her. I used it when I was pregnant with DS and LOVED it. I can't wait to start again.

[ChristineIndy]

Whoops! Jillian caught my post before I edited - I meant to say Gurmukh is the most famous living KUNDALINI yoga teacher. There may be others in other styles who are more well known.

And Jillian - is it the Method video (she's wearing a turban, if it is)??

THat's a GREAT prenatal video!!

Christine

[Cersha]

I didn't get a video... I figure I'll be wrapped up in training. I don't graduate until March, but it helps that one of my instructors is preggo too. She's a little over five months, I think, she just found out she is having a boy. (yay!)
But she is hardly showing. I guess cause she was so fit to start out with.

[Cersha]

I did get The Perfect Pregnancy Workout and I LOVE that...

[AllyRae]

Some great ideas ladies! I know for me, the worry won't end...once I get past the first tri, I'll have a little vacation before the third tri--and I know that birth will be very riddled with anxiety after what happened with Ry. It's too bad there's no prenatal yoga classes within an hour of me.

[lilgsmommy]

In my caase the fear is always there from that first faint line til I can make it far enough to consider myself and baby to be safe....in otherwards....full term...lol.

Ive had 6.5 losses ranging from very early on to the early 20weeks.....its hard not to woory, and stress, and over analyze, but eventually the further along you get it does tend a get a little better.

[saratchka]

Try to trust your body. I'm usually a complete stress-puppy, but for some reason when I got pregnant with DD I worried far less than most. Even when they found a subchorionic bleed on u/s (and the docs were worried about it because of it's proximity to the placenta) I just felt that everything was okay in there. I was cautious about telling people before the second trimester, and will be again this time. But I really believe that if you're in touch with your body, there's a good chance that you'll know whether everything is okay or not.

After DD's birth, I maintained my surprising calm. I can still get worked up and worried about things, but the anxiety isn't nearly as bad as I would have expected.

[mataji4]

Yes, the worrying is hard. I've been drinking chamomile tea to just rest my anxiety a little, and that helps me sleep better too.

I'm just trying to lessen the things that cause me anxiety. I'm not doing a blood draw now, as I've never been anemic and I've always been super healthy. I HATE blood draws, so why torture myself? I don't have a midwife so I don't have to sit through the appointment where we discover that I am not eating enough and then have to talk about all the yucky choices I have (that is truly miserable!). I think midwives forget what it is like to actually BE and FEEL pregnant sometimes! So for now, I'm just hanging out doing what I always do, and being pregnant.

I have had dreams of my baby and I totally feel her presence and trust her, and that has been wholly reassuring.