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A question about sex with a circumcised man

post #1 of 122
Thread Starter 
I have only ever been with my husband, who is intact. But when I talk about this issue with girls, I tend to get questions about how exactly sex is different between intact and circumcised. Can anyone give me some examples of how to talk about this? While I can tell the functions of the foreskin, I have trouble turning that into "well, it makes sex feel like this instead of this."
post #2 of 122
Well, do you and your dh ever have to use personal lubricants? It's very common that partners of circed men have to use lubricants, otherwise sex doesn't glide.
post #3 of 122
Thread Starter 
Would it be safe to say that sex with an intact man would lead to less "soreness"? (A friend says she gets "a little sore" after sex but that it's not related to size or anything but more like "rubbing"). I've never experienced this problem.
post #4 of 122
My husband is circumcised, but I don't have that problem. I don't really think there's any way to generalize the differences as experiences will be different depending on the individuals involved. I've been with both intact and circumcised men, and I have to say that much of the difference occurs in the context of "ability" for lack of a better term. Others may have different experiences to contribute though.
post #5 of 122
I've had two boyfriends before DH that were intact. DH is circ.

I'd say it's more "slidy" but that's not a real word. lol.

IMO, it's not better. just different.
post #6 of 122
Thread Starter 
SO instead of sticking with a "it makes sex better" kind of line of argument, perhaps I should go with a "you won't know your son's or his future partner (s) sexual preferences" maybe adding that the person their son marries could be the type of girl that receives a lot more pleasure from an intact male. You just will never know, which is why we should leave it to the boy to decide.
post #7 of 122
In my experience, intact sex is softer in that the skin layer that moves is actually another layer of skin on the WHOLE penis which makes for a bit of "padding", no matter how hard it gets. Mostly I notice that he is more gentle and sweet during, and he reacts "more"- or at least, to more subtle things. Based on one person isn't a lot, but I tell you this- I nearly cried after our first time because of how VASTLY different his experience seemed to be than any other guy. (And unfortunately, there were a number of them.) As for "slidey", yes it is- that is the penis moving in its own skin. But mark my words- that doesn't mean you can't feel it or he can't feel YOU! (Like pro-circs would like people to believe.) I do remember sex post-partum with my ex. and it just would NOT work because I had no lube to work with. I think its realliy a combo of lube and foreskin really because it doesn't get rid of the lube- it kind of "saves it", if that makes sense.
post #8 of 122
Originally Posted by sandals View Post
SO instead of sticking with a "it makes sex better" kind of line of argument, perhaps I should go with a "you won't know your son's or his future partner (s) sexual preferences" maybe adding that the person their son marries could be the type of girl that receives a lot more pleasure from an intact male. You just will never know, which is why we should leave it to the boy to decide.
I think that's probably a safer argument to use. Sexual experiences, regardless of "status", are generally going to be vastly different across individuals.
post #9 of 122
I think that the video of "The Prepuce" at DOC explains it pretty well, but it's been a while since I watched that one so I may be misremembering. Basically, the foreskin bunches up just inside the vagina, preventing the penis from drawing all the natural lubricant out during intercourse, as the circ'ed penis tends to do. The protected glans of the intact man is softer and moister of it's own accord. These factors lead to less friction and less soreness. Obviously, with a condom this is lessened somewhat, but not entirely. There is also the factors of intact men tending to be gentler and more in tune and in control, whereas circ'ed men tend to have to do more pounding until they get there, but that varies more widely of course.
post #10 of 122
This all makes me really sad that dh is c'd.
post #11 of 122
I usually mention that its softer, and even if you're going at it hard its gentler and less abrasive. So you get rougher sex but no soreness, even if it gets a little extreme. And it just WORKS differently. And it's always wetter because a man brings his own lube to the table and is less likely to dry out a woman than a cut guy. THOUGH I have notice that the looser cut men have some of that ability left.



After I saw that I got the whole "gliding sensation" bit and why its softer.
post #12 of 122
Originally Posted by Lila View Post
This all makes me really sad that dh is c'd.
me too.

honestly i've never been a big fan of intercourse, and all my partners have been circ'd. it is like "being poked with a broomstick" (not that i've ever done that! but ya know), its never felt good. plus you have to use lube every time. before i came here and found out how circing affects intercourse, i always thought that there was something wrong with ME. intact sex seems waaaaaay better because of course, its natural and how it SHOULD be. it isn't the most important aspect of a relationship, but it sucks when you can't be intimate without some level of discomfort involved.
post #13 of 122
it glides, i know that is a made up word, but it is less "pokey". i can easily have a vaginal orgasm with an intact man, it is a lot harder with a circed man.
post #14 of 122
Originally Posted by Lila View Post
This all makes me really sad that dh is c'd.
Me, too! Sex with an intact man is so much better. DH would never even consider restoration, though. That would make him feel too inferior or something. Male ego, bah.
post #15 of 122
As a restoring man i can certainly say that gliding action really does work. Not only does it require LESS natural lube with a foreskin because it doesn't pull the lube out to be dried up ,but the foreskin also provides it own mechanical friction reduction "gliding action" similar to how ball bearings in a wheel hub drastically reduce friction in a car (without ball bearing a cars wheel hub would heat up and destroy itself because of friction). So logically if there is less friction there is less chance of abrasion and the pain associated with it. The broomstick thing is a great analogy even on the man's side of the equation. Before restoration, sex or self stimulation REALLY was like using a broom stick, because i had so little feeling in my penis due to circumcision and the later "callousing" it causes to the exposed glans and inner foreskin. I would just poke the thing around hurriedly so i could get to orgasm because i really couldn't feel much of anything until the orgasm. After restoring, it became more like a “magic feeling wand” that i could used to sense all kinds of things i never could before on the way to orgasm. I can now actually enjoy the time between first penetration and and orgasm, not to mention orgasm are way more powerful than i've ever had. It only seems to make sense that a man who can FEEL his penis will be more gentle with it and be more sensitive to his wifes experience because of it , instead of just poking away at her with a dead stick.
post #16 of 122
post #17 of 122
Since the other ladies covered vaginal I will cover oral.

Oral sex with an whole man is a lot easier. You don't have to grab things as hard and there is more skin to lick, play with, and move to give pleasure to.

Some circ'ed guys have no skin to minipulate with your hand while you orally pleasing. This limits how long you can give, especially if you have TMJ .

It also has been my experience that whole men are more aware of their body's smells. They taste and smell different and IMO this isn't all bad. The first oral experience was with a circ'ed guy that didn't know how to was and he tasted and smelt like pee....lets say I didn't do oral after that for a while. I have not had that experience with an whole man, I do have limited experience with them though
post #18 of 122
Here are some short generalizations in terms of sensation/experience during the actual act:

Circumcised/Natural Sexual Intercourse
1. Feels like hard rod-pole/ Firm, yet softer more padded feeling
2. Drier, gets dry as intercourse progresses/Very naturally moist, moisture increases as intercourse progresses
3. Long, elongated thrusts like pummeling in and out/Shorter, grindier motion
4. Feeling of being pounded/feeling of receiving an internal massage
5. Thrusting keps private areas more separate/thrusting keeps private areas in greater contact (more indirect clitoral stimulation)
6. Higher level of friction leading to soreness and irritation/no irritation at all
7. Irritation and annoying sensations are a distraction mentally during intercourse even if there's pleasure/no negative sensations during intercourse to distract you only pleasure
8. Feeling of closeness and intimacy as well as feelings of separation and detatchment/Feeling of closeness and intimacy
9. Vaginal orgasm for woman not as likely/ Vaginal orgasm for woman much more likely
10. Rush to orgasm for the man where the vast majority of sensation is felt/Pleasure ride for the man, as the whole experience is utterly pleasurable

Hope that makes sense. I am not saying that a woman can't enjoy circumcised sex, but sometimes it is very difficult to mentally get past the negative sensations that occur during it and therefore it is less likely to be orgasmic. Plus, that feeling of detatchment and the way that they thrust...it can really leave a woman feeling emotionally detatched during and afterwards from her partner. What we women are built for is that close, sensual and highly intimate sex...and to be with a man who has been surgically altered so that he needs rough pounding in order to orgasm it just doesn't work as well. You're just not in synch then. It's very saddening. You have those feelings like you're not really enjoying it...when you do have pleasure it is mixed with feelings of annoyance and detatchment. Sad thing is, you would think it was normal unless you had experienced or knew of something different. If you only experienced circumcised sex you may be left with the impression that men only enjoy sex, or that women are just not meant to enjoy it.

Need I also mention that the experience of foreplay and oral sex is very different as well. I have to say that there is just so much more you can do with the intact/restored penis than you can do with a circumcised one. And, being with a restoring man myself (one who didn't believe that it would be different until he experienced it) it has been amazing to watch his experience of new pleasures and sensations. Things he wasn't able to imagine beforehand.

And of course, I'll qualify those statements in that those are typical for sex with your average circumcised man. I have met a few women who have said "oh, my Dh isn't like that and he's circ'd" to go into more detail with them and discover their DH's had very loose circs where the glans was mostly covered when flaccid still. The generalization is, the more skin you have, the more glans coverage he has the less likely you are to experience as severe negatives with circumcised sex.
post #19 of 122
I had a boyfried that was intact & he was the only intact guy that I've been with. It really made me think that if I ever had a boy I would circ. Well, then I came here & learned so much, if I did have a boy I would not cut him. But I still have to say that my experience with this boyfriend wasn't positive. He had the most powerful odor that I'm assuming is not normal. He tested negative for STD's. He would shower before we got intimate but he would still stink. Condoms helped so that the smell wasn't so strong. I assume this is just him, or his hygene isn't good? Does anyone want to comment on this? I thought for the longest time that all intact men would have this odor, now I think it was just him. I have been wondering about this for a long time. I'm glad that my experience didn't lead to me circing. I hear so many wives of intact men on here so thrilled that their dh is intact so I had to share my experience.
post #20 of 122
Thread Starter 
I've never noticed an odor before with the exception of when he just works out. If we decide to hop in bed without him showering first, there is odor...but, then again, it's hard to separate what is genital odor from the rest of the stink at that point

I think I have a stronger gential smell than he does, even after showering.
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