|i guess this is what i get for sending her to public school.
You would prefer that she be protected from the knowledge that people sometimes abuse their authority and behave inappropriately, until she is even older and less equipped to assimilate that idea?
ITA that the principal's and music teacher's reactions were inappropriate and that humilation should not be a discipline strategy no matter what the infraction. But in the real world, we sometimes encounter people who behave less than perfectly.
I appreciate that my parents listened sympathetically when I came home with stories of other adults' inappropriate behavior and that they took action when that behavior was seriously over the top and affected me directly. But I also appreciate that they conveyed to me that some people just don't think the same ways we do and are accustomed to different standards of behavior, and that meeting people like that from time to time is a fact of life. That doesn't mean we don't have the right to speak up for ourselves and explain how we would prefer to be treated. It just means that we shouldn't freak out at the fact that such people are allowed to exist and even to hold positions of power--that's life.
I think it's great that your daughter is attending public school. I hope that seeing you resolve this situation thru appropriate channels, and learning that the principal's over-reaction was based on a misunderstanding, will be a valuable lesson that she'll remember next time she's caught in a situation like this.