Just about 4 YO Tribe in october

[majazama]

I guess I'm now the official new thread starter

anyone can join. We started as a group for nov/dec 02 born babies, but anyone who wants to join, is welcome.:

[saritasmile]

subbing...back for more later

[**guest**]

Subbing

[abranger]

subbing back from my trp and after 4 days husband and kid free I am having some re-entry issues :

more later

[mamabeth]

I'd like to sub, too. I have an early January 03 "baby." Got a question for y'all...we're going on a 5-hour (without stops, ha ha!) car trip in a few days. Just wondering about some games, CDs, stuff to do in the car for that long. I am also taking my almost 1 YO and no dh. : thanks mamas! My dd is very easily bored , but she does like music so looking maybe for some interesting new CDs to pass the time.

[jillmamma]

Originally Posted by mamabeth

I'd like to sub, too. I have an early January 03 "baby." Got a question for y'all...we're going on a 5-hour (without stops, ha ha!) car trip in a few days. Just wondering about some games, CDs, stuff to do in the car for that long. I am also taking my almost 1 YO and no dh. : thanks mamas! My dd is very easily bored , but she does like music so looking maybe for some interesting new CDs to pass the time.

DS loves to draw on his magnadoodle in the car, and it works pretty well to keep him entertained. In August we drove from Houston to Denver in 2 days and decided to get a portable DVD player which has definitely been worth it for such a long trip. Another thought is maybe some books on CD for you to listen to? DS also likes to watch the traffic and point out trains, "tunnels" (overpasses), etc. that he sees. Maybe you could do some "I spy" type games with her, or count how many XXX color cars you see, etc. Biggest help for us though, was stopping every 2-3 hours to go to the bathroom and stretch legs a bit. Does she still nap at all? If so, maybe you could time it where a lot of the driving happens during her nap. Good luck and have fun!

[majazama]

yes, I agree with the portable DVD player idea. I never even considered getting one, but my mom lent me hers, and it was invaluable on car trips. I was so used to hearing the kids screaming while I drove, but now they are super quiet. Its worth it, for sure.

this reminds me of that article in mothering magazine last month, about the mom who took the DVD player, but tried to do other things for a 14 hour car trip or whatever it was, and ended up not using the dvd player. : Maybe when the kids are older it would work, but what a load of energy just to avoid a really useful convenience. I thought it was a bit much. Did any of you read that?

[MamaSweetP]

Hi, my older DD, Fiona, was born August of '02 -- this seems like a pretty close fit
I am reminded today of how far astray I've gone from my original ideals, promises made to myself and my wee one(s), regarding the "stuff" in their lives. I promised no barbies, lots of waldorf-inspired toys, imaginitive play, limited TV/DVD . . . and they have a playroom full of plastic, barbie, noise-making toy-dictated-play crap. I doubt they'll let me dispose of it . . . but no more! I have spoken with my mom and she has agreed, no more "stuff" that is not preapproved by me. I've sent her an e-mail about imagination-inspired toys, about play that is child-led, not toy-led, and she agrees (again) and will work with me to get back to basics.
OK, am I crazy to be trying to re-direct our play stuff? Am I just doomed to failure?
xoxo
Charlotte

[DecemberSun]

Yes, TVs in the car help a LOT. I accidentally let my Mothering subscription expire, so I didn't see the article. I will renew it ASAP, 'cause it is the one magazine I savor from front to back in one sitting. I don't want the kids watching TV all day long, but I do let them watch it. We've used the DVD player in our new van only twice, while the TV/VCR combo in the old conversion van was a *lifesaver* when they were 2. They mostly watch movies I watched when I was a kid.

I think I've felt the baby move in the past couple of days! There were a few moments before when I wasn't sure, but I'm almost positive I felt some light kicking and moving yeserday and today. I am 18 weeks along. I love this time when I'm the only one who can feel the baby move, YK?

[XmasEve]

Subbing.

Leah, that is so cool! I'm *almost* jealous. But, oh, so quickly they are born and grown so big, yet they CONTINUE to kick us. Argh!

mamabeth, we do DVDs in the car. At least once a month I take both kids for a 3+hour roadtrip. I try to wake them up early that morning, run them ragged, then put them in the car just before naptime with a DVD. They fall asleep, (even the 3yo who doesn't nap) pretty quickly, and if they wake up before our destination, they can finish the movie then. Just remember, empty bladders! It is so much worse to be in a car accident with a full bladder.

mamasweetP, I don't think it's ever a bad idea to redirect toys. I had ideals when my first was born, then when she was a few months we were handed down a ton of that battery-operated plastic stuff. And lo and behold, that was the first evening since she was born that I got to brush my teeth! I would put everything in the garage most of the time, only to pull it out when I was at my wit's end. Eventually I built up our "good" toy stash enough that we rarely ever pulled them out. We had a huge garage sale. My dh made me keep some of the offending toys that were truly dc's favorites, the rest were sold, and that afternoon I pulled out some new toys for her. She wasn't too bothered. Over the next several months she would occasionally miss the old toys, but it was fleeting (and understandable). The hardest thing is getting through to others what it an appropriate toy in your household or not! Good luck with that. To this day, if dc gets a toy that I don't approve of, either it disappears before she sees it, or if that's not feasible, I let her "trade it in" for a different new toy. It gets harder as she gets older, so I guess it's another parenting lesson in flexibility.

[MamaSweetP]

Thanks XmasEve I have no doubt that some things will not go, but there are plastic-noisy things with which they never play, so I'm going to start with those. Family has started talking about Christmas (already), so I've said that right now Fiona is all about art stuff, which she is, and recommened finger painting, making-little-dolls crafty stuff, etc. I have no doubt my family will stick with that, but my in-laws, otherwise lovely people, don't really get it. For Anneliese, I've suggested "wooden animals that she can easily hold in her hands" -- I hope that will get through to them!
That's a really good idea to "trade in" inappropriate toy gifts for preapproved ones. That may work really well with Fiona, who really likes to control her surroundings. Anneliese, not so sure, I think I'm going to have to do more disappear-before-she-ever-sees-it interference for her.
OK, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's strayed LOL, and it feels good to be getting back on track, and to hear that it's worked for your family!
Thanks again for your advice!
xoxo
Charlotte

[mamabeth]

Thanks y'all. I told my dh that the crunchy forum told me to get a DVD player so we HAD to... We have been considering it for a while but haven't gone on too many long-distance trips. We don't have the $$ to do it before this one so I am going to go with the magnadoodle, maybe some stickers (and just accept they will end up everywhere), naps, and breaks. I have also been known to stop at a Target or some such and buy a small toy that she can play with on the road.

About the toys, I think it is just fine to ask for different kinds. I have phrased it as "M really loves playing with blocks/dress-up/crafts." And if a talking toy makes its way into our house, I don't even put the batteries in. :

glad to find this thread! congrats on your new little one, Leah! sounds like you've got a lot going on at your house.

[DecemberSun]

It has been hectic with my nephew here. Naturally he likes to make messes and take out every possible toy and mix everything up. (I am neurotic and try to keep the food with the food, the blocks with the blocks, the cars with the cars, etc., and a 16 month old toddler doesn't get that!) Plus he has NO concept of the potty and he poops like 3 times a day, so that has been fun. :

All a person has to do is step into our house to realize that we have too many toys and my kids really couldn't use any more. We have a kitchen set with tons of dishes, food, pots, etc. We have Playdo with tons of cookie cutters. We have a huge bucket of crayons and tons of paper and books. We have guitars, harmonicas, flutes, drums, etc. We have blocks, a train set, puzzles, cars, trucks, puppets, dolls, and dress-up clothes galore. I mean, we REALLY have too many toys!!! It looks like we run a daycare or something. Whenever someone asks what the kids want/need I tell them "Nothing. Seriously!" But it is inevitable that people try to be nice and bombard us with cheap little nicknacks and toys, and we politely accept them, maybe play with them a day or so, and either throw them away or take them the to Goodwill. I have given up getting upset about it because even when I tell people *exactly* what the kids would like to play with we usually still get a cheesy little toy starring a movie character or something- and it really is "the thought that counts", you know? (The kids have so many toys they hardly notice when I get rid of stuff anyway.) Most of the reason we have so many toys is because the state pays us to spoil the crap out of these kids, so we have to make it look like the money really is going to them.

We have to do a big thinning of the toys before Christmastime. I think this year I will ask people for art stuff, anything preschool, and books as always. We'll probably get a bunch of noisy battery-operated junk (mostly from SIL-DH's sis- who hates me and enjoys wasting her money on *completely* thoughtless gifts for everyone. ) My mom is *finally* getting better- she usually e-mails me the links to the stuff she's going to buy to make sure it will work for us first. Or she'll have the kids cricle stuff themselves in a catalog.

[Daffodil]

Subbing . . .

We've been on several long trips lately (7-8 hours driving time). Snacks, music CDs, and conversation with me turned out to be enough entertainment for Lindy. But I'm sure a DVD player would be helpful.

[saritasmile]

We haven't gone the route of DVD player in the car yet. Razi does pretty okay so far, and we've done lots of trips. ummm, we also couldn't afford one if we needed it right now anyway, . No long trips for awhile tho, since baby will be here soon.

[MamaSweetP]

Well, we do have the DVD in the car . . . but save it for long trips, i.e. Virginia to Michigan, or, as in the case for DH today, northern Va rush-hour Why the man thought it would be a good idea to hit the road on 95 at 4pm I'll never figure out. Oh, but the DVD player for some reason isn't working Glad I'm not him right now.

[DecemberSun]

We rarely use ours now, unless we're on our way down to Mexico. The kids would rather listen to music (they still LOVE the MAry Had a Little Amp CD), look out the window, read books, or talk my ear off.

[majazama]

I hope yall don't think I use the DVD player all the time... I only use it when we go on long trips, and you all don't know my Sasa, whos 2; she is a really horrible traveller. We live really far from the city here, so when we want to go get a whole bunch of stuff from costco, the dvd has made that a lot easier on the way home.. the DVD has saved us a lot of trauma.

They aren't the kind of kids to want to talk a lot either. Both of them are learning, but talking isn't thier #1 skill. I point out the cows and horses and stuff, but that can only last so long. Also, kids music tends to make me : so I can't do that either.

my just about 4 yo, is a much better traveller than her sister, but they are always together!

I guess I'm not so crunchy anymore. Sue me.

[XmasEve]

Jaz, what I figured was, if we were making the trip by horse and buggy, or some other au naturale mode of transport, I'd ditch the DVD. But cruising down a paved road, in a gas guzzling miracle of modern invention, wtf would I draw the line at a DVD player? And yes, we only use it for trips in excess of 2 hours. I adore my kids, and I love spending time with them, but several hours in a confined space, limited distractions... I want alone time! I don't even talk to dh after a few hours

[jillmamma]

As far as toys go, we have both noisy and imaginative stuff. Some of them, like the Little People stuff, I don't mind the noise as much, but like the GeoTraks that DS plays with a lot, even though some of the trains have batteries, he rarely uses the remotes, and just pushes them himself anyway. Some things, like that TMX Elmo thing that came out, just seem really inane and off the wall to me. I just try and go through stuff every so often and get rid of things they either don't play with or are just too annoying.