Glad its not me...*random story*

[LydiaJW]

I was in the grocery store last night with some non-parent girlfriends, getting things for a birthday party. Behind us in the line was a woman, wearing scrubs like she worked for a hospital or something. I glanced at the groceries she was unloading....10 cans of similac formula, about 20 cans of babyfood and a box of rice cereal, followed by 2 packages of disposable diapers. Now, I use disposables : , but everything else there I was thinking wow...I'm so glad that I don't have to do that. So much junk, so much money wasted. I mentioned as much to my friend, who rolled her eyes and said "shes a working mom...jeez give it a rest!" And maybe I should. But seeing someone pay so much money for something so inferior is never a fun thing.

[Meiri]

The working moms in my family all nursed, but ....

Be glad for yourself and let it go. It's her problem after all, and I suppose her child's. OTOH, for all you know, she couldn't nurse for any number physical/medical reasons, or did for as long as she could. Be happy that you don't have to deal with those either, eh.

ETA: Or her baby was adopted. Or she was shopping for someone.

[HollyBearsMom]

That could have been me ....putting together my donation for the local women's shelter.

About every 6 months I donate cans of formula, baby food, wipes, spozzies, toilet paper, paper towels etc for the "family in crisis" center in my town. They support Moms with children who are either in crisis or who are in transitions from shelters to housing. Yes it would be great to say they all could/would breast feed, make their own baby food and cloth diaper but when you are on the run or have been living on the street, often with addictions, I am just glad the babies have something to eat and something warm to wear. So easy to judge....

[LydiaJW]

I guess that did come out kinda bratty. I guess all I was saying was wow, I'm really glad that, in addition to everything else, I don't have to do all that stuff, buy all that stuff, etc. I wasn't really judging the woman so much as kinda awestruck at the amount of products. I guess I'm sheltered and don't notice what other people buy very often!!

[Lisoula]

Originally Posted by LydiaJW

I was in the grocery store last night with some non-parent girlfriends, getting things for a birthday party. Behind us in the line was a woman, wearing scrubs like she worked for a hospital or something. I glanced at the groceries she was unloading....10 cans of similac formula, about 20 cans of babyfood and a box of rice cereal, followed by 2 packages of disposable diapers. Now, I use disposables : , but everything else there I was thinking wow...I'm so glad that I don't have to do that. So much junk, so much money wasted. I mentioned as much to my friend, who rolled her eyes and said "shes a working mom...jeez give it a rest!" And maybe I should. But seeing someone pay so much money for something so inferior is never a fun thing.

I'm a working mom...who also wears scrubs and I nursed my kids for a long time, what some would say and "extended" time. Not saying that the woman in line behind you didn't have a medical reason for buying formula, or whatever, but your friend needs to know (for when she has kids) that working moms can and do breastfeed everyday!

[twins10705]

It sounds like she might have been doing her WIC shopping for the month -- WIC gives out canned formula, baby juices, rice cereal etc.

[velcromom]

I always try to temper my thoughts by thinking she has an adopted baby or something... lol

it does stink to see so much money spent on things that in many cases the family could really use for other things... I wish moms had better support for working and breastfeeding. It can often be done with lots of education and resouces. My sister nursed past a year with her boys while working full time.

It's another sign that we need to get out there and make sure that our legislators know these things are important to us. Imagine what a difference it would make if during a job interview the employer was like "and don't worry about having to pump, you'll have the breaks you need and we've got a great space set up with comfy chairs and a fridge for you too..."

[onlyboys]

I think it's totally natural to see that and then think, "It could be so much easier if only..." Don't beat yourself up.

I think that kind of stuff all the time. I do, then, make up stories about them to make it better for me to see it, though.

For instance: what if she had just gotten custody of her ex-lover's twin newborns after s/he was abducted by aliens while watching reruns of West Wing.

Kidding.

[kalirush]

Every time I pass the baby aisle in the store (on the way to elsewhere) I think, look! A whole aisle of stuff I don't need to buy! Yay!

I don't consider that judgemental (Oh, and by the by, I'm a working mom... that has nothing to do with it).

Julia

[KnitLady]

I've never thought about this before, but you know those calculators that help women decide if they can afford to stay at home? It would really effect things if they added formula to the cost of working.

No tomatos! : I KNOW working women can breastfeed! But I'd guess that it's easier for working women to ff, and therefore probably more likely for the average working women to ff. We also know that not all working ladies are able to pump (bosses, bad conditions, etc). : :

[smeep]

I would thinking being a working mom would be MORE of a reason to lay off so much inferior junk if at all possible. She'd have more time to spend with her babe if she didn't have to work all the time to pay for that crap. I'd shoot myself if I were forced to waste hard earned money on something so inferior. lol But, then again, I did quit my job because my supply dipped too low to supply DS with enough pumped milk.

:

[smeep]

Originally Posted by KnitLady

No tomatos! : I KNOW working women can breastfeed! But I'd guess that it's easier for working women to ff, and therefore probably more likely for the average working women to ff. We also know that not all working ladies are able to pump (bosses, bad conditions, etc). : :

Yes, but you can always do both. 10 cans of formula doesn't sound like she's doing both. When my supply dropped and he was getting formula during the day before I quit, we only went through like one can the whole time because he got my milk for most of his feedings.

[LydiaJW]

Yes, working moms can breastfeed, and many do which I am really about. I'd like to think I'd be able to do that too, but it is so much more work than just sitting home and popping a boob out. Same for women who manage to nurse several children at once. Its so great! I myself gave my son some formula here and there (first child) when I was working part time, but I never needed more than a can at a time. I agree with PP that that many cans seems like shes exclusively ff.

This pregnancy, I've been amazed at how unnecessary so much baby stuff is...first time moms rarely know that, but the 3rd time around I finally get it and realize that all I need is the baby, some clothes and diapers and I'm set!

[elmh23]

My dh and I left Costco once and he was mulling over the (expensive) bill. He determined the problem was the disposable diapers ($30 for 150.) I told him "Just be happy we don't do these full time!" and he saw the light. Then I told him "Next time we're here, look at formula and just be happy we never have to buy that stuff (barring any problems that might arise in future kids!)" He has thanked me every month while doing bills since.

[lacysmommy]

Hey, I'm a working mom, I breastfeed and pump, I do EC with my babe and she wears cloth diapers as a back up and while we're away (babysitter doesn't do EC with her). So while yes I do give working mom's a break, it is totally possible to do all the "crunchy" things while working full time.

And I am extremely glad I don't have to buy all that extra stuff!

[eepster]

Just the other day I was in Ikea at the cafe and they have two flavors of jarred baby food (btw I didn't buy any.) One of the flavors was banana, and I just thought how is it that most women don't realize all you need to have fresh banana baby food is a banana, a bowl, and a fork to mash it with. It really can be frustrating to watch people spend hard earned money on something so dumb. So many women just don't realize the waste.

All that said I don't feel like they are bad just very mislead. Like we were when we first brought DS home and kept buying A+D ointment for him before we realized that it was made from industrial waste and we could put olive oil on him instead for a small fraction of the price.

When you see this kind of thing just be sad at how brainwashed american parents are.

[KnitLady]

first time moms rarely know that, but the 3rd time around I finally get it and realize that all I need is the baby, some clothes and diapers and I'm set!

When you see this kind of thing just be sad at how brainwashed american parents are.

And I am extremely glad I don't have to buy all that extra stuff!

Quoting several of you lovely mamas here!

Now that ds is seven months old and I'm settling into this whole mothering thing , I understand all of the above quotes!

I really didn't NEED a shower (although I still appreciated it!) Other than a few clothes and the cloth diapers I received (thanks, mom!) I don't need any of it! Babies don't actually have to be so expensive! I could have saved a fortune. I could have avoided all trips to BRU. I also love it that I never need a thing off of the baby aisle at the grocery store. And to think...I used to wander down that aisle and get all misty eyed hoping for the day I'd need that aisle!

I also love the added benefit that if something happens and I'm away from home for longer than expected, my baby will be fine. He can nap in my wrap, and nurse and everything is fine. So if I lock myself out of the house, no need to break a window! We'll be fine.

[jessjgh1]

Kellymom has a calculator...

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/pre...tbenefits.html

Sorry, just was skimming thru and the post about costs going back to work caught my eye.

And yeah, there's a ton of things we didn't need to buy... so I hope there will be a next time to see if I can get it a little better(-; At least I'll be all set with cloth dipes and breastfeeding amenities(-;

Jessica

[mamaofthree]

OP: I get where you are coming from. It can be very frusterating to see such waste of money, especially when the woman is probably working her arse off to pay the bills. You think "Dang, you could save yourself a bundle just by nursing and having a decent pump." If she did work for a hospital they are pretty good about letting staff pump. (I am a nurse and never had trouble pumping at any of my jobs and I have worked ICU and ER).
I do chuckle at the baby food it wasn't until I had my third child that I realized I didn't need to by that junk (even the nice organic stuff). I was at the store once getting TP which was in the same isle as baby food and stuff and this dad comes up to me and asks which brand is best... I said "Oh the stuff I make myself" he rolled his eyes and walked away.
I think some of the posters here need to chill. She was just lamenting.
BTW everyone makes a judgement, that is how you decide to do or not do something. It is ok too see something and think "Wow that is messed up" or whatever, you don't nessecarly have to say anything out loud. I would think out of all the places on the internet coming to Mothering to lament about something like that would be OK.
Maybe that mom was picking up a bunch of stuff to drop off at the shelter. Maybe she adopted a baby (although she may need the formula she doesn't need the baby food.), maybe she is picking it up for a friend or friends. BUT more than likely it was for her family. Which doesn't make her evil, it is sad though. It is sad that maybe she didn't get the support she needed to bf or that she has been brainwashed to some extent about "needing" jared baby food (I was), or that she can't use cloth because of the day care her baby goes too. So it is OK to say "bummer" it is OK to wish it could be different.

H

[HappyApple]

I have to agree with your friend. In the end, being that judgmental of a complete stranger is far worse than giving your child jarred baby food, no?