Issues at 20 months with b/g twins, Help!

[angie6]

This twin thing is getting to me. Most days I love them to death but so many days I think I really pissed someone off to do this to me! Does anyone else feel this way?

Problem #1 - Biting! How do you stop this? None of my other children did this. Usually it is Jade biting AMber but I have to say she usually provokes it. Lately she has been biting back and will even attack the rest of her family, including me.

Problem #2 - Fighting while nursing together. yes I have tried all the positions bu they just flip back into their favorite position and will kick, poke, hit the other one. This really annoys me and makes nursing no fun!

Problem #3 - Can not stand if one is sleeping and one is awake. The one that is awake will hit, yell, poke and do whatever to wake the sleeping twin. Why does it bother them so much? You would think they would love the individual attention but it just drives them crazy!

Problem #4 - Fondeling my other breast. When I do rarely nurse one at a time they have both started fondeling my unused breast. I just do not like this. I have tried many things to get them to stop but nothing seems to work and they basically fight me to get to the breast. Anyone else gone through this? I have never heard any other mom talk about this and have never read about this before.

Problem #5 - They never stop getting in to things that they are not suppose to be into. I have had to re-baby proof the house. I have never had to go to these measures before. It is unreal what these two will do. I know they fuel each other but it terrifies me with what the future holds. Does it get better? I am still waiting? Today they climbed into the dryer while I was filling the washer. I also found more crayon marked walls. We are in the process of trying to sell our home and this is very difficult to keep this house in show condition with these two! I could go on forever with this subject.

Just wanted to bounce off ideas and stories! Did other moms that had singletons and then twins find them to be very different then your other children?
Angie

[Mallory]

Your day kind of sounds like mine although they aren't twins, they are 19 mo apart (almost 2 and 3 1/2).

#1 okay we don't actually have the biting problem, jsut hitting and pushing.

#2 We are done nursing as soon as the hitting and pushing starts. I don't like to nurse fighters.

#3 Why do they act so lonely when the other is asleep? The past 5 hours when they were both awake it seemed like they hated being together.: I just lock the door to the sleeping child. Do you use a monitor? If you could get there quickly enough to take the awake one out before the other one is woken will that help?

#4 I hate this too. We have that fight over where his hands can be. What works best for mine is to tell him to put his hand flat and then I put mine on top. So at least there is no pinching or rubbing. Another thing that sometimes works is handing him something that he doesn't usually get to play with because it is too little. Like my ring or a coin, while he is nursing he isn't going to swallow it.

#5 I don't know what to do about this. My boys are such messers and climbers. Ds#1 can get on the top shelf of his closet. Yesterday I heard ds#2 crying "Its too big" and then ds#1 saying "You can do it put your foot here, now here, great job" and ds#2 saying "I got it!" And he was almost to the top of the picture window in our front room, it has lots of panes and they all have pretty deep sills, just like a ladder . They are always leading each other on.

So I don't have twins, but my singletons sound like yours!

[amnesiac]

#1 nothing I did ever made any difference. The biter just had to grow out of it.

#5 yes, we had to babyproof like crazy. It did gradually become less & less but I think it probably stopped all together by the time they were about 5. They climbed to get into stuff too, so even things I put up high had to be either REALLY high or locked.

[mom3]

My twins aren't there yet, but I know it won't be long. My dad was a fraternal twin and from his stories I can say that it gets better in that what they do changes but they will ALWAYS get each other into trouble. It's like their brains work in sinc and they have double the power to find things to get into. As they get older we will simply have to be more creative in how we correct their behavior when they do things that aren't aceptable. I think twins tend to make us better parents because we have to work harder at it just to keep our sanity .

[angie6]

It is great to know that I am not alone! Lets all work together to keep sain in this crazy journey of parenting! You are right mom3 it will make us better parents! It has too!!!
Yesterday and today have also been bad because Jade is sick with strep and wax filled ears and fights the medicine. AMber has to be right there through it all and wants the ear drops too just because Jade is getting them.
They really do not like to be apart or not sharing everything. I think it bothers them so much when one is asleep and the other is not because they miss the other one soooooooooooo much and are used to doing everything pretty much on the same schedule their entire life.
I know before I had twins I would have never understood any of this. It is like anything else in life unless you have been there you just can not fully understand. Am I right?
Angie

[Cakes]

Angie,

#3 Mine don't ever seem to sleep so I don't have any advise on this one

#4 How do twins learn to twiddle the other breast???? I pretty much nurse the babies together 98% of the time. I put their little hands way from the nipple and cover my unused breast with my own hand. It amazez me how sneaky their little hands can be.........especially at night. Oh and watch out if I haven't cut their finger nails!!! Ouch!

#6 Oh how my babies can get into trouble. I have to put the kitchen table chairs in another room just so they won't climb up on them and them onto the table and then dance together on the top of the table. It is not a big table. They get very angry when I thwart their efforts and my son has tried to drag the chairs back into the kitchen.
I try to keep doors closed, put "bad" things up high and ok things down below. I have rearranged my entire house just so I can have some peace of mind. I can't follow them both around the house all day.

Julianne

18 mos B/G twins and my beautiful 4.5 yo daughter

[angie6]

Cakes,
You sound like a great mom! i too have done tons of rearranging! My older kids wonder why I don't do much decorating on holidays since the twins were born but they just tear it up or it is a safety hazard so as you said you can not spend the whole day chasing after them. I have changed lots of things and I think I finally have it extremly safe for twins! Now we are getting ready to move so I imagine I have to start from scratch!
Angie

[geekmom]

No twins here, but boys less than 10 months apart. I notice so many of the same things that I now call them twins. I know that some people with twins think that the kids are missing out because they rarely have alone time with parents, but my kids do the same thing and don't like even being minutes away from the others. If I put one in the car first then he says "baby" meaning where's my brother. If one wakes up first he'll call the other 'til he wakes up. They are amazing in their ability to cooperate to destroy the house. They can, together, climb up anything and tear things down. I have babyproofed the house so that it is not dangerous, but it's not possible, other than getting rid of EVERYTHING, to babyproof it so that they don't destroy things. They regularly pull out my CDs and books and utensils and napkins. i have basically decided I'll clean up the house once and for all when the youngest is 3 (more than a year and a half from now).

My biggest way of coping is not expecting too much except safety and happiness from my kids. I have 2 children other than the "twins". I spent a good deal of my time with them all sitting on the couch or lying on the floor and letting them all crawl all over me and hang out. It really will be all over too soon and I'll be back to a house where my spatulas and tongs are not thrown down the stairs regularly.

[GoodWillHunter]

Re: Issues at 20 months with b/g twins, Help!

Originally posted by angie6
This twin thing is getting to me. Most days I love them to death but so many days I think I really pissed someone off to do this to me! Does anyone else feel this way?

Problem #3 - Can not stand if one is sleeping and one is awake. The one that is awake will hit, yell, poke and do whatever to wake the sleeping twin. Why does it bother them so much? You would think they would love the individual attention but it just drives them crazy!

Problem #5 - They never stop getting in to things that they are not suppose to be into. I have had to re-baby proof the house. I have never had to go to these measures before. It is unreal what these two will do. I know they fuel each other but it terrifies me with what the future holds. Does it get better? I am still waiting? Today they climbed into the dryer while I was filling the washer. I also found more crayon marked walls. We are in the process of trying to sell our home and this is very difficult to keep this house in show condition with these two! I could go on forever with this subject.

Just wanted to bounce off ideas and stories! Did other moms that had singletons and then twins find them to be very different then your other children?
Angie

Boy, do I ever know what you are talking about!!!!!!!
My first child was an and then when we found out we were having twins, well, . Natalie fuels Duncan and vice versa. Natalie took a permanent marker and colored all over the walls of her room and, just for the heck of it, colored on her belly,ild all before her two year old check up. I do know she is the instigator on most of the ideas because Duncan wears his heart on his sleeve and is totally obvious about what he is doing. Natalie took all the batteries out of our junk drawer and hid them under the sofa cushions today. I can't leave them for two seconds (so I can go to the bathroom) before they are moving toys to climb onto things. I've found baby powder all over the floor, diaper rash ointment all over them (they looked like mimes and I was nursing the baby), interesting crayon drawings all over the walls (I'm convinced cave drawings are really toddler drawings from way back)etc., etc., etc..
If Natalie is not home, all Duncan does is sit in the corner and look at his feet (or sunbeams....). If Duncan is gone, Natalie is little Miss Princess and she gets mad when he is back. When he was in the hospital for three days a couple of weeks back (he had pneumonia, poor thing), she got to go to her grandmother's and grandfather's house. When he got back, it was like Armageddon in the house. Each child, Hunter included, felt he/she had to have mom and/or dad hold them. Hunter couldn't have Duncan touching Mama and Natalie couldn't stand Duncan touching her.
Some days I feel like I'm just talking to the wall for all the listening they do . I totally agree about sometimes wondering who I pissed off in a former life. But, then, I get a and everything is forgiven (mostly). Boy do I like these smiley faces.