How to deal with the stress? Former self injurer needs help. - Page 2

[mammastar2]

Good luck with the parenting shop. That sounds very cool. If it's a shop, it would be open weekends and some evenings, right? So even if it's some less money, you might not need to pay for so much (lousy) daycare...


Edited to add: oh, I wonder if your daughter could even come with you, at least some of the time??


It sounds to me like you're being very strong right now, dealing with a difficult situation - no wonder you need to get it out somehow! Some of the other posters have some great suggestions.

And remember, it's just a difficult phase!

[doulajewla]

I know the pain you are feeling. Its very intense. I havent self mutilated since I was 19...well i think i had a bout with it when i was 25, but no blood just red. Not too long ago, oh say a month or two I wanted to scratch. I wanted to and it was because I started hating myself again. I felt that my husband wanted to go look at other women (he didnt, but its a long story how i feel ive trapped him with a family, house and marriage he didnt want...mostly its in my head i think) because my brother was taking him out for his bday. Well i got so mad not realizing my husband was going to come home if they went to a nudie bar, and i wanted to scratch my arms in the worst way. But i held back, i didnt. Instead i made myself obsessed with cleaning the house and getting ready for the party which was the next day. Its hard, I know, ive been there. Its hard to stop once you start, and i dont know about you, but the guilt always got to me as soon as i did it. Id feel incredibly guilty, which was part of the reason why i havent done it in a long time. I realized as a teen, when i hurt myself i hurt others too. I hope you can work through this, i am in counseling and it helps

[RubyV]

Just had another episode of scratching. Redness, but thankfully didn't break the skin.

Didn't even realize I was doing it until I felt strangly calm.

[mammastar2]

Take a deep breath! It's almost the weekend.

What would help you find your center over the weekend - some one-on-one time with your daughter? Dh spotting you while you have a hot bath? Taking half an hour to go for coffee and read the paper?

[asoulunbound]

sigh... trying to avoid si'ing by reading MDC...

[Jilian]

Here are some threads that may be helpful (they've helped me anyway):

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ight=ex+cutter (even though the OP deleted her OP there is some useful info)

and

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ight=ex+cutter

I hope today is a better day for both of you.

[Snowdrift]

Ack! I feel so bad for deleting those posts--that was a helpful thread for me at least, but there were privacy issues involved.

Just another (mostly) former SI-er chiming in with support.

For me, journaling/writing/interneting is not usually the best way of distracting/avoiding. It seems to help me delay it but not really change the mood.

Walking or other exercise is much better, at least for me.

I think it is important also to not lock yourself into a stereotype. Yes, many people find SI to be disturbing. So what! Deal within your own reality. I find that to end a cycle of SI one of the more important things is to let go of my convictions that I fulfill SI stereotypes--all those negative things that there is no point in enumerating. It has also really helped me to have a close friend who understands SI and who is willing to listen. Therapy can fulfill the same need to talk, but not all (or even most) therapists understand SI.

I'm often on late at night. If you need support late at night, feel free to PM me if I am online. Sometimes just talking helps.

[Jilian]

Don't feel bad for deleting, I've done it before too. Privacy is important. I'm just happy you didn't delete the entire thread because there is lots of good info in there. I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling better!

[RubyV]

I had a good, injury free weekend. Yay.

[Nature]

Yay Ruby!!

[OriginalGirlGamer]

Congrats on making it through the weekend.

I'm a SI too, or used to be....or still am....you know what i mean.

My last episode was a few months back when i was sooo stressed out. Working nights and taking care of DS during the day has me rolling on 2 hours of sleep a day, so I feel your pain. I did regress and now I feel crappy because I'm trying to fade the scars out before DS can get old enough to ask what they are.

I was given the suggestion to write, and it seems to work for a lot of people, so you can try that out. I'm far too hyper for that, so going outside, taking DS to the park, cranking up the music and dancing through the house all work for me. Anything to get that nervous engery and that urge out and the adrenaline in. I was in Tae Kwon Do, so practicing that helps out a lot, plus DS is picking up on it as well. If its REALLY bad, my doc gave me Atavan(or Adavan? O_o) and I'll take a half tablet to calm my nerves.

I saw you said your husband doesn't know how you feel. Talk to him, it can work wonrders if he's easy to communicate with. My DH sometimes gets on my nerves, if I'm stressed, he asks if I feel like hurting myself, but at least I know he cares. So talking to him or anyone else can do the trick as well.

Good luck!