Oh my gosh...she is soooo lazy!

[BathrobeGoddess]

I mean really lazy! DD is 8 (thinks she is going on 20 however) and yesterday we went for a walk. She rode her scooter because her bike's front brake is broken from putting her bike on the ground instead of using the kickstand. Lazy. So we get like 200ft and she is so tired, can't go any farther, etc. : Come on! Ten we had a parent night at school and when we were getting out of the car I asked he rto get her lunch box and put it in the house. She said she already did it. Okay fine sounds good right? No way! got up this morning and it was in the car. I mean how hard is it to turn you head and look at the seat beside you, see your lunch box, pick it up and walk it into the house you are already walking to. Grrrrr.... I aasked her why she told me it was in the huse and she said she was to to tired to look. OMG! She is so lazy!

Thanks I feel much better now...

FYI I am not lazy so she isn't modeling my behavior...

[Cloverlove]

I know you were just venting!

But I do want to say that my mom constantly called me lazy (I'm not saying you do this ). I wet the bed and I loved to read. Being called "lazy" for x years had a profound effect on my personality. So, while it is ok to think it... calling your dd lazy will only reinforce it.

Maybe she is depressed?

[journeymom]

We're going through the same thing! Dd is 8 y.o. and actually has the gall to complain that she "has to do everything around here!" when I told her to clear the plates from the dinner table. "Why do I always have to feed the dog?" (I feed him breakfast. She only feeds him dinner, and only about 80% of the time.) So I said, "Everything? You mean like cook and clean and shop for groceries and drive your daughter to and from school and help her with homework?" I say it smiling with a just-giving-her-a-ribbing tone of voice.

1) Does your dd watch a lot of tv?

2) Does your dd have some serious responsibilities around the house? I mean like something that contributes to the whole family that is challenging and would make her feel proud to do. I'm not sure what, specifically. Maybe cooking a whole dinner sometime?

Obviously I don't really know what to do, otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation. But I suspect amount of time I let dd watch tv has something to do with her attitude, as does the fact that she doesn't have a lot of responsibilities. So I'm working on it. It's easier to just do things myself, and I suppose that's laziness on my part.

I agree with Cloverlove. My parents told me repeatedly I was lazy and it really did a number on me. They also let me watch a lot of tv, rather than include me in running the house.

Read Laura Ingall's "Farmer Boy". A great example of children capable of doing 3 times the work most adults do now. The work the children did was necessary for the family to thrive. It wasn't just meanial (sp?) chores, though there was pleanty of that, too. And it definitly fed their sense of self esteem, to contribute to the family like that.

[pmjmomma]

My 5 yold dd does stuff like this too. . .

And I agree that I got called lazy all of the time, and I'm going to try to avoid this word with my daughters.

What I do (on a good day. . . )when stuff like this happens is to point out that I put a great deal of weight into what she is telling me. . . that if what she's really saying is that she doesn't feel like taking the time to check, well, then she should say that. We talk about how stuff like that is teetering on the brink of lying, and I want very much to be able to count on her word. . .

Now, of course, I also make it clear that just being honest about not wanting to do something does not absolve her of that chore, but sometimes we can work together on a "solution". SHe hated taking the time after a bath to put away bath toys. . . so we decided not to use bathtoys. She got bored. Amazing how that doesn't seem like too distasteful of a chore anymore

Jennifer

[sadean]

I wonder if it is the age. My ds#1 is also a little lazy (have never said that to him) and acts very put upon when asked to do stuff around the house. We created a chore chart, but haven't been very consistant in "enforcing" it, but it has helped illustrate my expectations. I think also that he is actually quite tired after school and I feel like I have to be mindful of that (though it doesn't get him out of his jobs). His jobs are things like doing his homework, feeding and playing with the pets, tidying his room and the living room, setting or clearing the dinner table if asked, and "other jobs as assigned" I don't consider it busy work or unreasonable.

I completely understand the frustration.

[mamaduck]

My 6.5 yr. old is not at all lazy, when he is himself. He's usually a very industrious helpful child. However, lately he has been doing the sort of things you describe your 8 yr. old doing. I honestly believe he *is* tired. 30 hours a week at school, swim lessons, choir and sunday school, and basketball! I'd be tired too! So we've cut a lot out of his schedule, and I'm trying to give him a lot of slack just after school so that he can crash for a while. We're making his bedtime a little earlier, and then letting him read in bed so that he can "wind down." Hopefully it will help.

Maybe your dd really *is* just tired these days.

[mom at home]

journeymom,

You just described my 7.5 yr old exactly. It's the "why do I have to do everything around here" that gets to me, when she does basically nothing. We, too, are working on it, but it is hard to figure out how to deal with it sometimes.

[StarMama]

Re: Oh my gosh...she is soooo lazy!

Originally posted by BathrobeGoddess
So we get like 200ft and she is so tired, can't go any farther, etc. :

I totally see where your frustration lies, but I wanted to comment on this little bit here... when I was young (and this was *before* I gained all this weight because my Dad would let me eat ice cream for dinner if I wanted, so I was in good shape) I got SO tired walking... I couldn't walk a lap at the mall... I had a problem with my achillies heel (the tendon was too short)... and my parents made me feel HORRIBLE for it until they discovered there was a problem that really existed (horrible like telling me I wasn't tired, was lazy, hurry up, not listening ect)...

I know its proably a totally far shot that your DD is not walking far because it acutally tires her, and her actions would be driving me bonkers too if I was you, but I just wanted to share that on the totally off the wall shot that it might relate...

Boy I am NOT looking forward to my yet unborn kiddo growing into the 'lazies'! :LOL

[journeymom]

Lisa, you make a really good point there. I, too, was one of those kids who couldn't hike very long before my feet started to hurt. Mom would say, "Oh come on, you're a kid, you should be able to hike circles around me." Well, I've got seriously flat feet and if I don't have good fitting shoes my feet get achy and painful after only a short walk. I'm now super vigilant with my kids feet and don't buy them cheap shoes if I can help it. I remember how ill fitting shoes were so uncomfortable.

Though, fortunately neither seem to have inherited my flat feet. They have their dad's feet.

[BathrobeGoddess]

Of course I don't call her lazy (to her face ) and this is such a new thing for her. I know it is just a stage but that doesn't make it any less frustrating for ol' ma.

She doesn't have much but school going on...I was even thinking maybe I should get her into something...I am wondering if her laziness stems from just being bored...

[Irishmommy]

What is it with 8 yo girls???? Mine is the same, unless she wants something. God forbid I ask her to set the table, but she will cook dinner for everyone (7 of us) if she wants to!!

[alexa07]

My question is : Do her teachers feel this way about her? Is she responsible and dutiful at school? If so please read "The Secret of Parenting" by Anthony Wolf which will explain why this really isn't such a big problem.

If she has this much trouble being responsible at school, I would check out other issues as mentioned in other posts.