Establishing a nighttime routine

[Ocean]

Do other working mothers have a hard time getting their little ones to fall asleep at night? DD is 15 months old and I usually try to get both of us to bed around 9:00. Often, especially lately, she just refuses to go to bed. Either I keep trying to get her to sleep and eventually she will fall asleep, but sometimes it's 2:00 a.m. before she falls asleep for more than 15 minutes! If it looks like she's still totally awake after 45 minutes, often my dh will take her for a couple hours so that I can get some sleep. That's what happened last night. He said she eventually fell asleep around 11:15. She was such a better night sleeper when she was just a few weeks old. But because I work all day, I think she realizes that nighttime is the only time we have together, so she tries to be up all night. This is really wearing on me, and it's also hard on my dh, who works from home and is really busy right now, so he needs to be working after she goes to bed. Her sleep "schedule" is totally erratic. She may fall asleep anywhere between 8:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m., and nap times are even less predictable. I'd like to put her on some sort of schedule, but I just don't know how because she will just fight sleep for hours. DH is recommending letter her cry it out, but I really don't want to do that. I've tried Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution, but nothing has worked for us. Have any of you had any luck establishing a nighttime routine?

[PatchyMama]

I'm not a WOH mama... but thought i would give ya HUGS! kyla is almost two and still has a difficult time going to sleep... we tried the no cry sleep solution, but it didnt work for us because we couldnt establish a night time routine.. not because i work, but because of dh's work.. he works from like 7 am to 8/9/or10 at night most days... and she refused to go to sleep without seeing him.. and i wasnt going to make her So i can sympathize with ya!

[natashaccat]

yeah, I got sooo much more sleep before going back to work. I'd sleep whenever dd did and wondered why sympathetic people were always asking me how much sleep I was getting. Now I'm so sleep deprived that I can't even figure out how to nap anywore. Sorry I can only offer sympathy, no solution!

[Marlena]

You may already be doing this, but I make sure that I can spend just about every minute with her, paying full attention to her, once I'm done working (rather than having her play while I make dinner or clean or what have you). Dh makes dinner when he comes home, or we have leftovers or something very simple (I sometimes cook on weekdays, but very rarely). I clean on weekends, when dd is busy with her dad or is sleeping (other than short tidying-up, which I do as we go). I go out running either just after work (but before the nanny leaves) or after dd goes to bed (usually sometime between 9 and 10 pm). This allows me, on almost all weeknights, to spend my time playing with dd and reading with her or otherwise doing something fun that she enjoys while I'm giving her my undivided attention.

[Chelly2003]

That must be really hard for you.

My ds has been going to bed at 7:30-8pm for a long time, he still takes a 2 hour nap during the day, and wakes at 6:30am

I don't remember how we did it, but we started really early on with the routine, my dh was a stay at home dad till ds was 14 months............ I got lots of sleep then, cause dh would get up at night.

Good luck

[CollegeMama]

Have you tried a bath and a book before bed each night? I think I'm going to try this and see if it helps.

Marcy

[Ocean]

Thanks for everyone's supportive replies. I've tried pretty much everything I can think of at this point other than letting dd CIO. Last week was a bit better. There was even a night when she let me get six hours of sleep before work the next day! But this week she's making up for it. She was up almost all night last night. I only got two hours of sleep last night, and now I have to somehow try to function at work. Right now, I think she's just starting to get some more teeth, but it seems like it is always something. On good nights, I get 5-6 hours of sleep, and that's pretty rare. On average, I get about 4.5 hours. Then there are lots of nights when I get 3 or less. I think part of what is really wearing on me is just how long it has been since I've gotten a good night sleep. I had a really tough pregnancy with "morning sickness" that kept me up most nights throughout my pregnancy. DD is 16 months, so it has been two years of very interrupted sleep. Are there other WOHMs that regularly work on less than three hours of sleep?