Looking for Resources

[PatchChild]

Hi ladies. I'm wondering if anyone can point me to some good resources to help pursuade my very reluctant husband away from a hospital birth (: ) and towards a birth center. He's a paramedic and doesn't see anything wrong with hospitals, after all, he's in them all the time isn't he... I'm searching all around MDC, but would love any specific links or directions from people. I'd really like to get him moving in this direction over the next couple of weeks, before I head to a first appointment anywhere. Thanks!

[irises]

The birth center that I plan to use offers tours. Perhaps yours does as well, and you can have your husband join you. The tour I attended was wonderful, and the midwife allowed a lot of time for trepidatious partners (and mothers) to ask questions. She was able to reassure people that the BC outcomes are better than at the hospital and to provide information about emergency transfers and the like. Seeing the environment for himself would probably make a difference.

-Iris

[todavia]

i agree with iris. i'll keep my eye out for some links but probably the people at the birthcenter would be the best ones to make the case to your dh. good luck

[saratchka]

We're planning a homebirth, and there are some good resources about the safety of homebirth in that forum. I figure that a birth center birth must, from the perspective of those who like hospitals, be safer than homebirth, so if you can convince him that the numbers show "even homebirth is safe" then a birth center must be great! Any birth center will have the vast majority of the equipment that a hospital would have and have procedures in place to transfer to a hospital if a mother or child needs something they don't have, so the potential safety differences should be minute, especially if you're a low risk pregnancy.

Our midwife spent literally over two hours with us answering questions and walking DH through all the possible complications that could arise during the labor, birth, and recovery process. Hearing her plans for all those scenarios really gave him the peace of mind he needed to commit to homebirth. A similar meeting with your care provider and/or the birth center staff may give your DH that same comfort level.

And laboring somewhere that you feel comfortable can make all the difference in speeding and easing the childbirth process so that you can avoid interventions.

Best of luck!

[PatchChild]

Wow, you ladies are so quick! Thanks for the great encouragement. DH is an absolutely wonderful, incredibally supportive person so I have a feeling he'll come around fairly quickly. He's just trying to grasp the idea of leaving behind what he knows. At the moment, the response I generally get when I object to a hospital is, "I really don't think it's as bad as you think." Hmm, so I should go and have it be terrible just to prove him wrong? I don't think so. Really though, he is trying to be open minded, he's just nervous.

It looks like the Birth Cottage does have open houses, I'll go looking into that. Thanks!

[saratchka]

Originally Posted by PatchChild

the response I generally get when I object to a hospital is, "I really don't think it's as bad as you think." Hmm, so I should go and have it be terrible just to prove him wrong?

Hospital births aren't always terrible. Mine wasn't awful (granted I was only there for about an hour prior to DD's actual birth) but it was absolutely not right for us. I can certainly give specific examples of less than optimal events during our stay, but overall the care was competent, if overzealous, and people were trying to be helpful. That just wasn't enough to make it the beautiful experience it should have been.

It's not about it being "as bad as you think." You need to reframe the conversation in terms of having the birth you want. One that will be as gentle as possible for both you and the baby so that both of you can get the best start possible in this new phase of your lives. Maybe thinking of it that way will help him to see the merits of a less medical environment and philosophy for birth. Of course you make compromises to that ideal birth if the situation requires it, but you might as well aim for what you want, right?