Did your mom or MIL Breastfeed? - Page 4

[Nora'sMama]

Originally Posted by hipcoolmama

Did your mom/MIL breastfeed their children and did that influence or not influence you?

Yes, my mother BF both me and my sister (10 and 13 months respectively) and she always spoke of doing so with pride, so that undoubtedly affected me...I always knew I would breastfeed.

My MIL also BF my DH but she went back to work very soon after she was born...she actually did pump and leave bottles with his caregiver (his grandma)!! This really impressed me, 'cause it was the early '70's in Greece and pump technology cannot have been anything like what it is today. (My mother, in the U.S., barely knew about breast pumps in the 70's and my babysitters gave formula during the day when she went back to work). However I don't think MIL BF my BIL. Not sure why. And DH was weaned pretty young, certainly before a year. But I am still impressed that she BF. And I think that knowing he was BF was a positive influence on DH...he has always been a big BF supporter.

MIL does *NOT* think I should still be BF my DD, though. We visited my ILs in August and she was constantly pushing toddler formula on DD and tsk tsking when I would go in another room to BF DD (I'm definitely NOT comfortable BF in front of my ILs!!). But, it was easy to shrug off.

[jillmamma]

My mom nursed all 4 of us kids to 4 months each, when she weaned us to whole cow's milk.

MIL adopted DH at 4 days old with very little notice, and she was very skinny and not well informed about adoptive nursing, so he was FF. His ped also had her giving him cereal at 3 weeks old because he was ove 9 lb at birth!

[urchin_grey]

My mom BF all 5 of us. I think only until we got our teeth though because that's what she thought she was supposed to do. But I think that's pretty good considering she was a 20yo mainstream mama in 1985 when she had me.

DP says he remembers him mom BFing his youngest brother so I guess she BF all of them. Not sure how long though because she left them when the youngest was still in diapers and they haven't seen her since then. :

[Bartock]

nope neither did, and that really didn't influence me, I wanted to regardless what they did.

[Nature]

Both my mom and my MIL breastfed, but they passed away years before I was even a mother and it had no bearing on what I chose to do.

[aja-belly]

both of them breastfed all of their babies (10 total). neither me or dh ever considered any less for our kids.

[kaspirant]

My mom breastfed me and my sisters. We grew up hearing stories about a young boy who saw my mom breastfeeding my sister. He asked her what she was doing and her reply was "I'm feeding the baby the way God intended mama's to feed their babies" The boy became overly upset when his mom explained he had been formula fed. He was so upset at his mama for not feeding him the way God intended.

But in reality. I wouldn't have done anything different. It was natural and perfect to hold my baby to my breast and to give him food that my body produced(s) for him. I come from a line of 'natural mama's"

Adam was formula fed...and he FULLY supports my choices.

[crazycat]

I didn't read through all the responses but here's my experience:

My mom BF all four of us kids in the late '60s to mid '70s, and actually had to refuse a pill in the hospital that was offered to her to dry up her milk when my older brother was born ... the nurse was really surprised when my mom refused and said she was going to BF. They didn't tell her initially what it was for, but when my mom asked the nurse she was told "to dry up your milk of course!" It wasn't the thing then - apparently it was considered for those who couldn't afford formula, not appropriate for public eyes, etc. Anyway, we were all BF for at least 18 months, my younger brother till past 2. We were all preemies, too, my older brother only 4 pounds 4 ounces in 1969, so I'm sure we all benefitted greatly from being BF. My MIL BF all four of hers too as far as I know, and one of my SIL BF her son until he was 3 so all very supportive in that department! My sister has BF her three kids until they were all over a year (still nursing her 2 1/2 year old). My brothers wives nursed their kids only until 6 months but I guess that's better than nothing - they told me they "enjoyed the nursing period and then went to formula" like it's the expected thing to do. Still, like I said I guess better than nothing, and now that my one SIL is home with the kids I think she might be still nursing their youngest, who will be a year in November.

[Birth Junky]

Both my mom and MIL started out breastfeeding, but only lasted a couple of months. Mom started giving bottles when I was 2-3 months old because she had to go back to work, and pretty quickly I developed nipple preference and wouldn't have anything to do with her breasts. It influenced me in that I decided early on that I wouldn't do bottles, even of breastmilk, for fear of nipple confusion/preference. (DD had her first bottle of breastmilk at 4 months, and knew just what to do with it--grabbed it out of her dad's hand and sucked it right down. Fortunately she was perfectly happy to go back to the breast!)

MIL started out nursing, but experienced terrible nipple pain and got to the point where she tensed up every time she picked up DH to nurse him. By the time he was 8 weeks old she decided she couldn't take it, and gave him formula instead. We have since figured out that the pain likely came from the fact that DH has a short frenulum, and since MIL didn't have the support of a knowledgeable doc or LLL around, she thought that breastfeeding was just painful and she couldn't do it. THAT influenced me in that I talked with my midwives during my FIRST pre-natal appointment about checking DD's frenulum shortly after her birth (it was fine).

Both mom and MIL have expressed regret over the fact that they didn't breastfeed longer, and they are both very supportive of our nursing relationship.

[coobabysmom]

neither bf and this didn't influence my decision to bf.

[artemis80]

When my DH and I were talking about getting married and having kids, the topic of BFing came up. He just came out and asked - "How do you think babies should be fed?". It was an ultimatum.

I hope my son grows up with this kind of respect for breastfeeding!

I was breastfed for only about four weeks (mom got bad advice when I wasn't gaining well or wetting enough). I didn't know this until I was pregnant, though. I just assumed I was breastfed until I was at least one or so. I think my mom feels guilty about it.

DH was breastfed until 18 mos. There's a cute photo of him at about 3 nursing his doll. It embarasses him, but I love it. His brother nursed until around two yrs.

Neither mom really influenced my decision; although, again, I always thought I was bf'd longer than I was.

[ochoco]

My mom did, for about a year, she has said. I know that I used to bite her, and now I'm gettin' mine, as DS is teething! I know it was really hard for her - in the mid-seventies, I guess it was still pretty radical, and she got a lot of crap for it. I'm proud she did it, and I always assumed that BFing was best. Same with co-sleeping, btw.

MIL - much more mainstream, and my DH is a twin. She says she breastfed them for the first couple of weeks, but then formula. She has said she regrets formula feeding her children, though, and has never commented on my BFing except in a positive way. They didn't even blink when I talked about how I'd nurse DS until (at least) 2, in accordance with the WHO guidelines. I was surprised, as they are generally extremely conservative - but they also have been very respectful in our childraising decisions. I did get the "are you going to roll over on the baby?" thing, but they didn't make too big of a deal and have accepted it. At least to our faces, and that's all I really care about!

[momto l&a]

My mom breastfed me.

My mil bottle fed her kids and they turned out just fine :

[Peony]

Nope, both bottle fed. No one had bf in my family for several generations, my mom didn't actually know anyone that bf until I did it. :

[mommyto3girls]

I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old. My mom had no idea you could do adoptive breastfeeding. Also, they were told that it would be 4 years until they got a baby, but they got me in 9 months because I have a small birthmark on my forehead and that caused me to be labeled "imperfect" So they offered me to my parents because they had agreed to accept a child with Physical diabilities. (which apparently includes cosmetic issues) When I told her a few years ago about a friend breastfeeding her adopted daughter she was amazed and then sad that she didn't know it was possible.

MIL had dh on cereal at 10 days "He just wasn't satisfied with his formula, no way could I have nursed him." Never mind the fact that she didn't try!
She was very negative with Maia, told me I needed to wean at 6 weeks. With Sage she acts like she was the one who decided I would be nursing her.

[Yodergoat]

My MIL died of cancer several years ago, before I even got the chance to talk about baby-raising with her. : So I don't know if she BF or not, although I would assume that she did not. I've seen several pictures of my husband and his siblings with bottles at young ages, and I know that my youngest SIL had a bad case of baby-bottle mouth from night-time kool-aid. Doesn't leave an impression of having been pro-BF. My FIL has never mentioned it, and he knows (and is supportive, so far) of his granddaughter nursing, so it seems that if MIL had BF that he would have mentioned it. I haven't asked... I kind of want to keep an image of my MIL nursing my husband in my mind and not have it shattered with the possible truth. I know that her twin sister did BF her two kids for 6 months each, and that her mother "tried" to BF her oldest but was told her "milk was too thin, and blue." Mamaw did not try to BF her twins for any length of time, because "that isn't even possible." So said the doctors in 1947. : My older SIL didn't BF, although she claims to have wanted to do so and regrets that she didn't. Her lack of BF makes me think even more so that MIL did not.

So, since I never knew if MIL breastfed, it obviously did not influence my decision. My husband is VERY supportive, not because he had a pro-BF upbringing (it wasn't talked about), but because he realizes it is the logical and obviously right thing to do. When we first discussed BF, he said, "It makes sense to do it, and seems silly not to do it."

My mother did not BF my older siblings (1968 & 1972) but did, surprisingly, try with me in 1977, after a c-section (which she says was her easiest childbirth recovery, go figure). She stopped at about 3 weeks because a doctor told her I was always crying because I was "allergic" to her milk. Turns out I was allergic to the dairy-based formula he made her switch to, too.... so I think that if she'd known to cut out dairy that I would have been fine. I was put on soy. I was supposedly an enthusiastic little nursling as a newborn. Gotta love those doctors, always doling out such sound advice. :

I grew up hearing about how mom's milk was bad for me and how breastfeeding me had made my mom's breasts sag, and that women shouldn't do it if they want to keep their figure. : I guess those arduous three weeks of BF took their toll, huh?!? Neither my sister nor my brother's wife BF or even considered BF. But despite that, I grew up knowing in my heart and mind that BF was the right thing to do. I hated giving bottles to my nephews, and got sick at the very smell of formula. I also saw each of them suffer ear infections one right after another. We had lots of animals, and everyone talked about how important it was for them to get their mother's milk... but why no one could apply this logic to human babies was beyond me. Even though I never saw anyone BF a baby in my whole life, I always knew I wanted to BF my future babies, and I actually bought BF books and joined message boards long before even beginning to try to conceive. My mother was still quite unenthusiastic about it when I told her how important I considered BF to be, and had told me not to get my hopes up, because of course my baby could be "allergic" to my milk just like I had been. It was hard for her to accept that she might have been given misinformation back then.

But, since I've had Gail, and my mother has seen how she thrives on my milk, she quickly became very supportive and even brags about it to relatives. Yay Mom! I still have to clear up some misinformation about it when talking to mom about it, but she is at least suportive and willing to listen. I have since learned that my grandmother (who died before I was born) had nursed all but one of her 15 (!!!) children. The last one is the one which wasn't BF, because of grandma's failing health (she died not long afterward). She even tandem-nursed occasionally, but usually put the older baby on the bottle (PET brand evaporated milk, I think, or sometimes straight cow's milk) when she would get pregnant again (LAM did not work for grandma! ). Now, my aunts and uncles are all quite close in age, so I doubt she nursed any one child for much over a year if even that long. But still, I learned that she would use a homemade sling and would NIP no matter where she was. Yay for grandma! I know that it was partly their poverty which led to the BF, but I'm still glad to hear it. Funny how I never heard these positive BF stories growing up.... I just got the negative.

I wonder about my other grandmother, but imagine that she did BF at least some because they were dirt-poor (like my mother's family, they were sharecropper cotton farmers in Arkansas). My father is very pro-BF, but never mentioned it when my older siblings FF (although he did say he thought formula smelled bad). Now that he finally has a child who breastfeeds, he talks about how healthy his granddaughter is because of the good milk she drinks! When he babysat for me one day and offered Gail a bottle of expressed breastmilk, he said he didn't blame her for not drinking the bottle, because she was used to eating "the right way." Yay Dad!

So, in my immediate family, there wasn't much BF going on. Like I said, I never saw it growing up, or even heard about it other than the sagging breast warning. But that didn't stop me from knowing innately what babies should be eating. I always thought to myself, "But that's what they're for!"

[Yodergoat]

Sorry I was so long-winded above. Sheesh!

Wanted to add:

My parents may not have known much about BF, but they did co-sleep with me until I was close to 4, and I have wonderful memories of that, so it did influence me on co-sleeping (although I know I would have anyway, because I couldn't stand to be apart from Gail). It wasn't their initial choice, just the way it turned out, but they say they don't regret it and are supportive of our family bed.

Also wanted to add that one day while watching our baby nurse, my husband sadly wondered aloud:

"Do you think my momma nursed me? I doubt it, but I'd like to believe that she did. I wish I could ask her..."

It made me very melancholy for him, and for what he has lost since he can't even ask his mother, "What was I like as a baby?" He misses her so much. Our baby is named after her. She was a good MIL.

Just thought I'd share that.... it's late and I am feeling a bit weepy.

[liz217]

nak.
Both did. my mom nursed us 3 girls till we were each around 9 months, MIL till the boys were about 11 months -1 yr.. not sure about my mom's reasoning for stopping so soon. Both (Mom and MIL) are of the mindset that when they're old enough to ....fill in the bllank....blah blah blah. I actually used to think that way,: cus i had often heard mom remark about so and so's baby being too old etc. So it has affected me in some way, but I've gotten over it. DS was only nursed for 7 months, i really really regret stopping so soon with him. I was young and uninformed, only had mom to really seek counsel from (so I thought).

Needless to say my thinking has changed since then. DD will nurse as long as she wants to.

[aweynsayl]

my mom extended bf me, let me self wean-- around 3 or so...

mil formula fed dh, including cereal in the formula at 3 weeks. <: i know!> gee, but if he doesnt have allergies, asthma, and a crappy immune syetem. shock, horror, etc.

we would have extended bf, clw, etc anyway, but if we needed any help making that decision.....................

[ladyslipper]

My mother did not breast feed. She figured I was formula feeding and was surprised when I told her I would be breast feeding. She explained that she wished she would have but did not know better. Getting mothering magazine while pregnant and meeting a breast feeding advocate is what influenced me.