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having issues with DH being circ'd - Page 2

post #21 of 173
Sign me up! I cried about it last night
post #22 of 173
Thank you Galatea for posting! I saw your siggy links when I first joined, lost the links when my computer crashed, couldn't remember the member and have been trying to find that signature again!
post #23 of 173
I have to admit that after having browsed this thread last night before bed, I had a dream that I was in a subway full of tall, handsome British men !
post #24 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by oneKnight View Post
Thank you Galatea for posting! I saw your siggy links when I first joined, lost the links when my computer crashed, couldn't remember the member and have been trying to find that signature again!
Why, thank you.
post #25 of 173
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post #26 of 173
Italians.
post #27 of 173
i may get slammed here (for why i dont know yet) but i have been with both an intact man and a circ. man and *I* honestly did not feel it contributed greatly to my sexual pleasure.

**** please read: I am ANTI-CIRC****. all the way. i see no reason for it.

However, I don't think you gals shoudl be sad over something that your dh's don't have, esp. if your sexual relations are good. I believe it has more to do with the man than the condition of his penis.

I admit to not reading alot about the advantages TO WOMEN of men not being circ'd. I read more about the advantages TO MEN.

and im not posting this to be contrary in any way. Im simply posting my experiences...it has never mattered in the past whether a man was circ'd or not. Other factors have played greater roles in my sexual satisfaction.

having said this, I wish my first 2 sons were not circ'd and will talk about foreskin restoration with them. not so much for their wives' benefit, but for their own.

of course, i am always willing to learn if there is something else i shoudl be telling them. im just saying that i never found that to be the case.
post #28 of 173
2
post #29 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by twins10705 View Post
I guess some women are more resilient to the jackhammering and hard chafing edges. Some of the women here do have ok sex...but some of us never get any pleasure due to chafing and fierce pounding. If you cannot have halfway pleasurable sex in a marriage...the marriage WILL suffer even if everything else is good.
i totally agree. i simply posted b/c it seems that some posters do have good sex lives and i wanted to offer the perspective that it may not be better with an intact man, if he is deficient in other manners relevant (if ykwim).
i feel badly for any woman who experiences what you describe but i just never have.
i just didnt want some women thinking that the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. as a friend of mine has said, that grass also needs mowing! lol!
post #30 of 173
I have had a few thoughs along those lines, but I wonder how I would feel if I had to have...say...a mastectomy and DH thought all the time about how he would like to be with a woman with 2 breasts. KWIM?
I'm VERY happy with DH, and have had to resolve that I will deal with the occasional discomfort because the positive about our bedroom life is much better than the negative is bad (does that make sense?)
post #31 of 173
Yep, practically our entire generation of American men is circ'd (rate at 90% when they were babies.) It is a travesty. BUT you and I both broke the cycle of violence by keeping our own sons intact. That is/can be incredibly healing.

Our men were attacked. As helpless babies. Through obviously no fault of their own. I know you're not disappointed in your man, but he could take it that way. Heal his wounds (the ones he doesn't even know he has) from his circumcision by just loving him that much.

My dh will never restore, either, and that's ok. It's his body.
post #32 of 173
w
post #33 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by twins10705 View Post
...but some of us never get any pleasure due to chafing and fierce pounding. If you cannot have halfway pleasurable sex in a marriage...the marriage WILL suffer even if everything else is good.
: So I'd heard that the chafing was due to lack of foreskin.. never heard the fierce pounding part! (How many times do I yell "OW!! NOT SO HARD!"?) I wish dh would listen to me.. he's pro circ. I'm pregnant with a girl so that debate has been postponed at least, heh. With being preg, my drive is down to begin with. And feeling like a hole is being stabbed through me while being rubbed raw, while pretending not to hate it (so as to not turn him off.. the goal is for him to be QUICK) yeah.. it doesn't happen often at our house I am honest with him that lately I DON'T enjoy it. (I did pre-preg) He hates more than anything anytime I even bring up circ, he just doesn't want to hear it.
post #34 of 173
The "jack hammer effect" is how I got ALL of my (girl) friends to become anti-circ. You would be amazed at the looks of "OH I get it" as soon as you tell them that sex isnt always supposed to be a "bang up job". if you KWIM.
post #35 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by hookahgirl View Post
The "jack hammer effect" is how I got ALL of my (girl) friends to become anti-circ. You would be amazed at the looks of "OH I get it" as soon as you tell them that sex isnt always supposed to be a "bang up job". if you KWIM.
Thanks for sharing that you and *all* your girlfriends understand!! I am thinking that the majority(as in, over half) of women are having serious sexual issues with their circ'd partners. I am just learning that I most likely do NOT have a dysfunctional vagina! It is sooo empowering, but at the same time I am feeling cheated and angry.
post #36 of 173
Yeah it is like a lightbulb goes off. I thought they would think i was nuts LOL but they are totally jumped on board.

My DH is circ'd. Poor guy. He gets sad about it too.
post #37 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila View Post
I have had a few thoughs along those lines, but I wonder how I would feel if I had to have...say...a mastectomy and DH thought all the time about how he would like to be with a woman with 2 breasts. KWIM?
I'm VERY happy with DH, and have had to resolve that I will deal with the occasional discomfort because the positive about our bedroom life is much better than the negative is bad (does that make sense?)
You are lucky that circumcised sex isn't painful for you. It never was for me until I hit my late thirties. Now it feels like I'm being poked and prodded rather than being made love to. Even with lube, I'm just not enjoying the lack of mobile skin that would provide the necessary glide that would make sex more pleasurable.

I don't think it can be compared to a mastectomy. The man is not going to experience painful sex just because a breast is missing. Psychologically he may have a hard time with it but not physically. I don't have issues with dh because of what his penis looks like but because of the limited ability of what it can do. And it makes me angry, not only for him, but for me too.
post #38 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post
: So I'd heard that the chafing was due to lack of foreskin.. never heard the fierce pounding part! (How many times do I yell "OW!! NOT SO HARD!"?) I wish dh would listen to me.. he's pro circ. I'm pregnant with a girl so that debate has been postponed at least, heh. With being preg, my drive is down to begin with. And feeling like a hole is being stabbed through me while being rubbed raw, while pretending not to hate it (so as to not turn him off.. the goal is for him to be QUICK) yeah.. it doesn't happen often at our house I am honest with him that lately I DON'T enjoy it. (I did pre-preg) He hates more than anything anytime I even bring up circ, he just doesn't want to hear it.

My DH was like this too, then we found out we were having a girl and it got put off. A while ago I brought it up to him, and he was pro-circ still. Then our daughter was born and I think that changed alot for him. I again brought up my case and he agreed that we wouldn't circ if we had a boy!

Anyway, we had a chat about it the other night, the sexual part of it that is, and he was amazed at all the info about how sex w/ a circ'd man can be harder, and he said he would actually consider restoration. I can't believe how he's done such a 180.
post #39 of 173
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila View Post
I have had a few thoughs along those lines, but I wonder how I would feel if I had to have...say...a mastectomy and DH thought all the time about how he would like to be with a woman with 2 breasts. KWIM?
I'm VERY happy with DH, and have had to resolve that I will deal with the occasional discomfort because the positive about our bedroom life is much better than the negative is bad (does that make sense?)
It's kind of different though, cause if I had a mastectomy I would have my boobs reconstructed (only bigger, lol) and DH would NEVER even consider foreskin restoration. I also don't try and make him feel bad about his penis or anything...
post #40 of 173
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