discouraging ve

[simplemama]

i broke down and had a ve at my m/w appnt today and sadly only a fingertip, though I shouldn't be surprised since my 'due date' hasn't arrived yet. I just have been feeling like more was going on than that.
anyone else, ever gone from that small to labor quickly?

Baby will come when it is ready I know, but I'm just too excited! I'll have to start a project of some sort that won't matter if it gets done or not.

[deleria]

I've been 2cm dilated for a few weeks now, with no noticeable change otherwise except for a ton of contractions that seem to be doing very little.

However, having done a lot of research and question asking, I've come to realize that how dilated you are pre-labour means very, very little. You're just as likely as I am to go into labour right now, even though my cervix is more 'along' than yours is. I've known women who've walked around dilated to 3 or 4cm for four weeks or more, yet there are others who have no dilation and give birth the same day. The labour process is so complex and varies greatly from person to person and birth to birth.

I've started a few projects to keep me busy, too. Little things that make me feel happy that I could get done before he arrives. I had a belly picture blown up and bought a nice frame, I've cleaned parts of the house I know I won't have time to clean aftewards, I'm spending some one-on-one time with each of my boys while I still have the chance... It's been very nice in some ways not to have him come as early as I thought he would. It's also been a lesson in trusting my body (which is soooo hard sometimes!) and believing in its power to do what is best for the baby I've taken such care to grow over the last few months.

Hugs to you, mama. I know how frustrating the last little while can be. I've been an emotional rollercoaster lately! But I do know that both of us will have our babes in our arms very soon

[leurMaman]

Hey there,

I agree with Amanda - dialation tells you nothing. In fact, except for a quick swab to affirm that I am group B neg, I haven't even had a ve. I'm 37.5 weeks, and I don't intend to check on that, though my curiosity makes it hard for me to resist knowing if I'm at least starting to dialate. Like PP said, I've heard of women walking around at 4 cm dialated up to 7 weeks before giving birth, and I've heard of another going from 0 to 10 in an hour or from 4 to 10 in one contraction. Don't worry

[Hayes]

I saw an OB for my first 3 babes. Never dilated more than a cm or so. With #2, I was 2 cm dilated when I was admitted to the hospital. Sweet Lydia was born just 3 hours later.

With my last babe, my MW checked me and I was 4cm. 10 minutes later I was pushing.

Dilation means very little.

[chaibaby]

Awwww, I'm sorry! It must be discouraging but you're absolutely right, when the baby decides he/she is ready, then things will start to happen!
I haven't even been checked for that reason. My MW asked me if I wanted to be, and I declined. I just don't want to set myself up to get excited adn then it be another few weeks....
Sorry mama!

[simplemama]

thanks!

thanks everyone for your posts-they are very encouraging. I had told myself not to get checked for this reason but somehow my curiosity always gets the best of me. I was thinking about it more and realize that I am not really comfortable being checked, even with my women midwife so perhaps i tend to 'tense' up and that could always change things too, as I saw with my last labor and birth. So no more checks for me. That would be awesome to go from 2 to 10 in those short times some of you spoke about but I will try not to put any 'expectations' on my body, just encourage it to do what it can and feel a great sense of a accomplishment.

i've been getting real good contractions when I walk and do nipple stimulation so I'll just keep that up and know that it is doing something productive, without needing to judge it based on numbers...

[AppleOrangePear]

When pregnant with kai i did have one internal at about 34 weeks. Then I was 0 station, 70% effaced and about 3 or so dilated AT 33-34 WEEKS!

. AND He was born at 40wks. Honestly, there are moms like me that can walk around for weeks like that and feel great and those that are closed up tight and seconds later be in transitioning.

This time I have no idea where i am at and honestly as much as i get excited Im also pretty content. I guess i have alot to keep me busy. Kai and I have been doing things to celebrate the upcoming arrival of his brother and the autumn equinox.

We are in the process of making a blessing wreath for the front door,
DH and him made a autumn loaf on the autumn equinox,
making a nature table,
wrapping little gifts for Kai from his brother
Dh and Kai will be wrapping gifts for the lil one
keeping the house organized
shopping for last minute items
getting organized for a potluck bbq on sunday
baking
washing (spraying windows )
DH and I are making favors for Kai's bday party with his playmates

and most importantly relaxing.


SOoo eventually he will great us and enter the world

I did make sure to do the things I really wanted to have done before he arrives however things can still get done after

Michele

[Avani]

Since this is my 5th babe i learned a few kids back not to get checked before hand because of the disappointment or the excitement it can bring.Even during labor.If i get checked and it is discouraging then my labor regresses.I find it better to just leave it alone.WIth my 3rd babe i got checked at 38 weeks and was 90% effaced and 4cm's dilated.The midwife sweeped my cervix and we got a ton of bloody show and thought for sure i would have her any second.Instead i went to 43 weeks and had to take castor oil to get her out and i was at 5cm at that point and fully effaced but my body was not going into active labor.She came 45 minutes later and was very overdue and dried out!I have no clue why i didn't go into active labor with her since i have never had a problem since or before.So again i find it better to leave it all alone!

[Evergreen]

I know the feeling, girl.

In fact, I wasn't going to check at all this pregnancy, but I broke down the other night. I was only 1.5 cm. Last night, though, I could gently stretch to 3, so there was some progress. Still, it means absolutely nothing.

I'm officially 8 days late!

[wanderinggypsy]

I'm not from your due date club but I wanted to mention that with both my past pregnancies I didn't start to dialate AT ALL until I was in full blown labour. That having been said, my labours were simple and quite short, so don't worry. When things start to happen they can really happen fast.

[simplemama]

yes, though I am now regretful of doing the ve, I am glad in a way to reasure myself that it will be in mine and babe's best interest to avoid being checked during labor. Now I only wander how I can refocus and get my body to forgive me for putting an expectation on it. Everything will happen in due time...though I do hope castor oil will not be part of my story as I don't think that would end up so pretty.

[atljenny47]

it's hard not to get a little hopeful and think that something is going on. the past week that's how i've been acting, but now realize i just need to sit back and go with the flow again like i had been doing the first 38 weeks of my pregnancy. everything will happen when it's supposed to, and i keep trying to tell myself that too! good luck!

[heidi_m]

MW was planning to do a ve at my checkup yesterday but I told her I'd really rather not. I said, "Oh, I thought you didn't do that until 41 weeks," and she said no it's usually once you hit 40 (yesterday I was "officially" 40+2) but that if I really didn't want her to she'd wait til next week. I told her the truth (leaving out the part about them just being gross and making me feel uncomfortable!), which is that I didn't want to get all excited if I *was* dilated a few cm's, or be disappointed if I was still locked up tight as a drum (or as tight as you can be with your third!). She was on board with that logic and it was no big deal... I was soooo glad! With nearly two weeks of ctx now I would have been soooooooooooooo bummed to find no "progress" even though I know it doesn't mean a thing!

Oh please oh please I want to have this baby this weekend!!