Its getting worse!

[crazyeight]

Sleeping that is. Used to be that she would at LEAST be asleep or very close to it by 11. Now she isn't even TIRED at midnight! I have nursed her for an hour and a half STRAIGHT. Walked, jiggled, burped, and rocked her and nothing is working! I am so tired its not even funny. I don't understand why shes not tired either. Shes been up since 7 p.m. with about an hour of sleep. Babies are supposed to sleep and yet here she is in a 7 hour marathon of being awake when the rest of the world is in their right minds! I was already at the end of my rope at 11 p.m. and this is making everything worse. Shes still waking up a TON at night. She wakes up 2 1/2-3 hours after she goes down and then 2 hours after that and then every hour until 7 a.m. and then shes AWAKE!! I am thouroghly SICK of co sleeping. My neck is permanently "cricked" my back is killing me and i can't get into a deep enough sleep with her in bed with me do anything about the fatigue!

Do you think i should try cammomile tea? Shes still not taking a paci at all so I don't even know if she would take a bottle. But i have to try something! Maybe some "drink" that will wake her up for a while DURING the day so that shes actually tired at night and then give her chamomile at night to make sure it "sticks". I really don't want to mess up the breastfeeding but my nipples are so sore right now that I am not enjoying anything.

[*~Danielle~*]

I'm sorry, momma!

I don't know if there are any right answers but I wanted to encourage you to not give anything extra to your newborn. These first few months are so new to her and new again to you that I think it is just going to take time to find the groove.

If co-sleeping isnt' working for you, then maybe re-evaluate. There is no strict set of AP rules that work for everyone and don't feel bad if you make your own way that isn't right in line with the majority on here for co-sleeping. You have to find what works for you and your new baby. Maybe a bassinet next to your bed would be a good compromise. That way, baby isn't alone but you get the space you need for atleast one REM cycle. I think if you got a quality 2-3 hour stretch of sleep your outlook would be a bit more clear and not as hopeless.

I think it is not too early to start a routine with dimming the lights and giving a bath and having quiet time together in the evenings. No television but maybe some soft music. I probably be in your shoes when this new baby comes and I'm getting tired just thinking about it. You can do this momma.

[noteworthy]

I know this part sucks big time.
You are not alone in your misery and sleep depriviation. I have some ideas, but need to do other things first then I will post. Hang in there!
V

[Guest*]

I'm sorry. No advice.

She sounds just like my first. My dd had that kind of sleeping schedule and attitude into her 2nd year until she finally figured it out on her own. She woke every 45-90 minutes, sleeping longer only a handful of times.

We tried EVERYTHING....literally everything. Every piece of advice, herb, "training," even CIO briefly. Nothing worked. We just lived through it the best we could. We cried and finally took a breath when she started sleeping through the night just 3 months ago.

So, no advice. I guess try everything and if that doesn't work...give up and hang in there. Try not to be mad at her and catch a nap whenever you can. Do the best you can, that's all you can do.

[mojumi]

Not being flip at all when I suggest this -- why don't *you* drink the chamomile tea? Let your dd enjoy its effects via your own relaxation and breastmilk. Also you can try taking a warm bath *with* dd. Most babies love this close mommy time and calm down very well in a bath environment. Your milk will probably flow even faster/more with all that skin-to-skin contact giving her a nice big 'meal' as well. It sounds like co-sleeping is causing trouble because you are uncomfortable -- oh gosh how I remember dreading the midnight hours with #1! If you can practice nursing on your side during the day -- maybe getting some help to arrange pillows etc to find the most comfortable way for you to relax -- then nightime nursing should improve as well. Or try a basinette or whatever next to the bed -- you'll still hear baby but will get some time to stretch out in comfort as well.

Tho it's rough, reversing night/day is a normal baby phase. She'll grow out of it and you'll make it through!! When she sleeps during the day, try to sleep too, or at least cat nap or do quiet activities that rest/refresh you.

I've read so many places 'people were not meant to sleep for only 4 hours a night.' Got to tell you, that's all I've gotten (at a time) for the past 4 years, and I imagine it'll be my routine for the next 4. Your own body is pretty amazing and can adjust to all manner of circumstances. Be patient with you!

slan-
Monique

[mum2be]

We're dealing with the same exact thing. She spent the majority of the past 3 weeks being awake from 5 p.m. until 3 a.m. I was going INSANE!

Now she's sleeping slightly better at night, but not much. It's hard because it changes daily. I can't predict anything.

I drink chamomile tea with fennel. It will help calm her too. I wouldn't give it to her, just let her benefit from it in your breastmilk. Also, I know it may be hard, but nap when she naps during the day. I have a hard time because I want to do things, or I think I shouldn't bother because she won't sleep long anyway, but just lay down. Even if you don't sleep, you could rest.

Hang in there...I'm going through the same exact thing and I know how hard it is

[crazyeight]

Thanks for all the kind words. First though I guess I should have said that we never *intended* to cosleep. I have a pack n play in the room where she is supposed to sleep. My "routine" with ds is that I would keep a kitchen timer in the room with me set for 15 min and then i would side lie nurse him and when the timer went off it would wake me up to put him back in "bed". It worked great for him! DD eats more slowly so i have it set for 30 min. but it doesn't seem like its enough. I have woken up with her still latched on sucking just a tiny bit and if i break the latch she wakes up/fusses like she'll wake up. EIther that or i will half dozeingly turn of the timer and fall asleep and not wake up till she needs to eat again! :

I have been swaddling her but she is really strong. Going to stop by babies r us and get a swaddling blanket which should help keep her in better.

I do definatly sleep when she and ds are down for a nap. I have to nurse her then too cause I think she wants to be awake during that time. I wonder if thats messing everything up???

Duh!! didn't even think that *I* could drink the tea!! I am going to cut out the soda again even though it didn't help last time. Ds was never really affected by what i ate (or that i could tell, never was good at it).

Now can i buy chamomile tea at the grocery store and thats not loaded with extra "stuff"? i know that just plain is best.....not sure where else to buy it without paying an arm and a leg (or a breast ). Also where would i find the "Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD? i have heard about it but never seen it. It would be best if i could "rent" it but i am guessing thats not going to happen.

[mum2be]

We found that DVD at the library actually! I would check to see if you could rent it first, then try half.com if you had to buy it.

Good luck

[grapejuicemama]

Hey, mama. Hugs to you, I know it's rough.

With DS, who is now almost three, we had rough nights like this too.

One thing I have to ask, since you said your nipples hurt, are you sure that she has a correct latch? I'm not an expert, but I have been a nursing mama and it seems like they shouldn't really hurt after having nursed for four weeks already. That *might* also explain why she isn't sleeping well.

I fought the use of a paci for weeks and weeks with DS, because I was just opposed to them. My solution at first was to put my clean pinkie finger into ds's mouth. Palm facing his nose. That really helped, since he had a strong urge to suck, though it does give you a good idea of what a strong suck those little ones have. My pinkie would ache and ache! Eventually, I caved and got a paci for him at DH's advice and it really helped amazingly.

This, too, shall pass, though it's hard to see that through the fog! I'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again in the spring!

BTW, my dd is Ayla, too! I love that name. I probably already told you that, though. In fact, I think I did after your birth announcement......Preggo brain.

[crazyeight]

Originally Posted by grapejuicemama

Hey, mama. Hugs to you, I know it's rough.

With DS, who is now almost three, we had rough nights like this too.

One thing I have to ask, since you said your nipples hurt, are you sure that she has a correct latch? I'm not an expert, but I have been a nursing mama and it seems like they shouldn't really hurt after having nursed for four weeks already. That *might* also explain why she isn't sleeping well.

I fought the use of a paci for weeks and weeks with DS, because I was just opposed to them. My solution at first was to put my clean pinkie finger into ds's mouth. Palm facing his nose. That really helped, since he had a strong urge to suck, though it does give you a good idea of what a strong suck those little ones have. My pinkie would ache and ache! Eventually, I caved and got a paci for him at DH's advice and it really helped amazingly.

This, too, shall pass, though it's hard to see that through the fog! I'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again in the spring!

BTW, my dd is Ayla, too! I love that name. I probably already told you that, though. In fact, I think I did after your birth announcement......Preggo brain.

i'm not fighting the paci SHE is!! i have 2 kinds neither one she likes. not sure if they are to long or they just aren't "real".

i don't remember if i knew about your daughters name. there is another woman in this ddc who has a daughter named ayla and shes the same age as my ds and i think they had a boy this time! the name has beeing popping up alot forum.

her latch is great when we are sitting up. laying down i know that its not perfect but if i turn on a light then she wakes up more so i have . its more from just her nursing for 4 or 5 hours every hour at night than the latch. they are just very very sensative and when they get near empty is the most painful time.

[Mimi37]

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-.../dp/0553381466
this is the dvd/book, but my library has several copies so worth checking. it really helped us
nak in the DARK, lol

[crazyeight]

so i tried a few different things tonight. around 8 p.m. (an hourish after sunset) the lights were selectivly on so that it was darker than normal. i tried to keep her away from the light. the tv was very quiet and i made sure the "flashes" she couldn't see. she wasn't very happy with any of this so i tried swaddling her and holding in the dim light. wasn't going to sleep like anything was going to change so i took her to the bedroom and nursed her like we were going to bed until 8:30ish. she woke up 3 min after i got out of bed : then daddy relieved me cause she started screaming and didn't like anything i was doing. tried the swing and paci and she was still screaming so we finally tried to take a bath with candles. she did like that. we spent about 1/2 an hour just snuggling and then i got her out into the dim light again and swaddled her and fed her and held her for another 45 min to let her get deeper into sleep. i was able to put her down and she hasn't woken up yet (45 min later). so i think we will try to take a bath tomorrow night around 9 for 1/2 an hour and then nurse and snuggle for another 45 and HOPEFULLY this will become a routine that she will be happy with!! i can certainly survive an hour easy non screaming ritual!!

going to check my library on base for the books but i am not sure....also going to check out the toddler book too as my toddler is being well a toddler!

[crazyeight]

just wanted to let everyone know that she slept incredibly great last night!! she slept from 10:30-4 STRAIGHT!! i about had a heart attack!! it was touch n go the rest of the night till 8 when dh got out of bed and ayla just stayed in bed with me. seems to be that she really needs me to be close for her to fall into a really deep sleep. but i am ok if this keeps up!!

[bookwormommy]

That's fabulous that she slept so long last night. I don't have any advice - I feel like I'm in the same boat as you!

We've worked really hard on our latch and I think it's right, but Shayla nurses so much that I get really sore. I'm also pumping because my midwife doesn't think I have enough milk supply. Apparently that may be why she's not sleeping very long at a time and why she wants to nurse so much.

I hope it gets better for me soon, and I hope you continue to get some good sleep at night.

Erin

[crazyeight]

erin i love your daughters name! where did you get it?

i hope that you can get some sleep too. i really thought that the bath would wake her up cause she was always wide eyed and AWAKE when i gave her a bath in the small tub but i guess it calmed her when shes with me. you should certainly try it!

i'll let you know the results tomorrow if she is going to accept this or if it was a fluke!

its fenugreek that increases milk right? i found a website that sells it fairly cheap and i have a free shipping code if you want it

[huggerwocky]

Do you nurse side lying? I am much better since we managed it. I do need a little night light to get her latched on though, she's like a blind mole doing a piranha dive elsewise...

[crazyeight]

oh yeah we nurse side lying. i had tried nursing ds in a chair a few times and i would always do that head nod thing..... i have a night light in our bathroom that throws *just* enough light to see her mouth but barely. sometimes she doesn't latch right or gets pissed off cause i am trying to find her mouth while shes trying to find me.....

[noteworthy]

Sorry I didn't post sooner... it's kinda crazy around here. We walked the floors with our first two, so I know where you are right now.
All the things that pps have suggested are exactly what I was going to say! Lavendar lotion helped us too, and the bath with momma and the low lights, low stimulation at evening, naked in the dark thing. We wake her up during the day to nurse every 2 hours, so at night she will sleep that long stretch. Get any help you can to hold her or watch your toddler so you can get some sleep during the day. Sleep when the baby sleeps, is the motto that gets me through. And I am good at sleep depriviation, since I work nights, but having a baby can wear anyone out. Lots of people asked us what we needed for her and I said meals. We haven't cooked since she arrived, except for pancakes.
Good luck, and you are not alone. Glad to see that she slept and let you get some rest!

[crazyeight]

well last night was a bust. we took a bath and everything but i guess i did it to early. she was getting kinda cranky and hungry at 8 and wanted to make sure she would be hungry for her meal after bath cause thats what really soothes her into sleep. but it was a no go she stayed up until 11. i tried to get her to sleep for about 2 hours and i couldn't. i am finding that dh is sooooo much better at getting her to sleep than me. i wonder if its cause i smell like food or that shes so attached to my scent that she wakes herself up everytime i get ready to leave her or put her down.

we'll see how things go tonight but i may resort to just haveing dh put her to bed and i will take ds to bed.

she didn't sleep as well either last night. up at 2:30 and 4-7 she was up every hour or so.

[bookwormommy]

she's like a blind mole doing a piranha dive elsewise

This is cracking me up! I'm going to laugh about it now every time my baby is doing this.

erin i love your daughters name! where did you get it?

Thanks! My DP made it up one day when we were just playing with sounds, but then we found it in a couple baby name books. It's of Irish origin, but we've found 3 different unrelated meanings for it, so who knows?

Sorry to hear it didn't go as well last night for you. My night was a lot better - I eked out 5 hours of sleep which is a couple hours more than I'd been getting at night. It may be that my milk supply is increasing already - I've been pumping now for 2 1/2 days. I forgot to mention that I also started taking fenugreek - my midwife swears by it.

I've tried the side nursing several times and we just don't seem to fit together that way! I keep trying it again every few days, just in case it starts to work.

Erin