Oh Nina! I know you don't know me, but I wish I could hug you in person. I'm so sorry things are working out this way while you're having to go through so much! You need to focus on Connor and not worry about what your mother is thinking/saying right now. Lean on your husband and be there for him to lean on you. Together, you'll pull through this for Connor's sake; and for him, you and DH need to stand together and be his rock!
As far as the obituary goes; for heaven's sake, don't beat yourself up over it! You're grieving and you don't have the mindset to say what you really want to say; and you know what? That's OKAY. The funeral is far more important, because it's THERE that you celebrate their lives and share what they brought to your family. You'll be sharing it with people who feel the same way. The obituary was very formal, but I know if I read it in my paper, my heart would break. It doesn't matter what's said, the point is there. For their memorial write-up, you'll have more to say and more time to think about it.
I'm so sorry these things are all happening to you! Keep your head up as best as you can, and as always, if you need to talk, I'm here for you!