Dear Moma Justice,
I just read your post and have lit a candle for your dear baby Rain. I am watching the flame, trying to think of what words to say. If only there was something any of us could say or do to make it not so. I want to say something to help you feel "better", but know that is not possible either. If only there was someway to share the pain, so you would not have to bear it all on your own.
During each of my two pregnancies I have tried to prepare myself to be able to accept whatever the outcome. And at the same time I know how foolish that is, that there is no way to prepare.
It seems the most I can do is join with the other voices here letting you know that you did nothing wrong. In fact you did many, many things right. Your baby had a warm loving home for nine months. She heard your voice and felt your excitement. You were powerful and strong in birthing her, all the more so in that she could no longer help.
Please be gentle with yourself. I am glad to hear that you were able to spend some time in the mountains. I lived in Atlanta for a couple of years, and know they are beautiful in the autumn. Your daughter will always be with you, not how you would have wanted, but still she is forever a part of you and your life.
Many hugs, my thoughts are with you.