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At what age should boys not see mom naked?  

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I have a 4 1/2 yr old that I still bathe with and dress in front of etc. He also sees my breasts alot since I still nurse his 18 mos old sister.
Just recently he's started saying things like "mama, you've got big boobies" and running away giggling. He thinks they're funny all of a sudden.
We've always been open and never taught our kids to be shy about their bodies or that they're something to be embarrassed about.
So I know this is normal on his part (but do wonder where it came from)but should I start covering up more or not? I can't say it makes me feel uncomfortable or anything but not sure what's healthy for him.
TIA mamas,
Ann
post #2 of 21
I don't think this is specific to boys, but I think that it's probably a good idea for parents to cover up when (or if) their children start to show signs of modesty. ie... when they don't want you to see them naked, maybe you should also start covering up a bit more.

When I just come out of the shower, my nursing 2 year old loves to give my breasts a giggle and thinks it's funny... probably more from how they look rather than some idea that he shouldn't be seeing them. Sounds like your son is trying to see what kind of response his comments get from you.
post #3 of 21
I dont go out of my way much yet, but I do turn my back, shut the door, dart, etc. We started being aware of this early on I think? When Taylor was almost 2 yrs started to get VERY upset in the tub or shower with me because my penis was missing. : So I stopped being naked infront of him especially in the bathroom. Now that we are toilet training though it has come back up. The other day he reminded me to hold my penis down when I pee. He was a little concerned but seemed ok when I reminded him that Daddy and He were boys and had a penis and Mommy and Aunty [my Sister lives with us] are girls and have vaginas. But it makes ME uncomfortable when he is so unabashed about taking a look etc.
post #4 of 21
levar - I had to laugh at you missing penis because mine is apparently inside my butt. Or so said my 3 year old to dh one day. He figures 1. you can't pee without a penis 2. Girls have butts in front and back (he has a baby sister) 3. He can't see dd's penis Conclusion...she (and all girls) have a penis in their butt. Guess we need to get a nice anatomy book and explain this a bit better
post #5 of 21
Quote:
Originally posted by levar
. But it makes ME uncomfortable when he is so unabashed about taking a look etc.
:LOL

Kids are so inocent. My son wanted to take a look at mine the other night - to confirm that in fact I did not have a penis..... (he was in the bath at the time)
He sat down in the bath and started laughing....... (?)

"mommy, you've got hair on yours"

Funny Boy, it was like it was the first time he'd ever seen it, or perhaps the first time he realized it had HAIR....

Chelly
post #6 of 21
before ds was born, i used to go around the house nude, but i've started wearing clothes most of the time now. but i still bathe with him on occasion (he's 4), he comes in the bathroom when i'm in there, and sometimes he sees me changing my clothes. i don't make it a big deal, and neither does he. and if he has questions, i answer them.

i used to bathe with him every time he took a bath (who needs a baby tub??), but i don't as much as i used to, not because of reasons of nudity, but because i don't enjoy bathing with his dinosaurs and boats, and because he likes to have room to "swim."
post #7 of 21
He'll let you know when he doesn't want to see you naked anymore. Laughing just means he's having fun
post #8 of 21
When my son was five he told me I looked pretty without my clothes on. That's when I stopped getting dressed in front of him.
post #9 of 21
I've always felt that once a child starts "gawking" at your body, it's time to cover up a little more. I don't mean you need to shoo him out of the room if you're getting dressed, but maybe just be a litle more aware, put a robe on after your shower, turn your back, etc.

But I also feel that every family is different when it comes to this stuff, and it's really a matter of personal preference, not something anyone else can tell you. As long as both the parent and child feel comfortable, it seems fine to me.
post #10 of 21
I'm so glad I found this thread. It was helpful to read what others have encountered. My ds wants to look into his baby sisters vagina to see if there is poo in there. I also noticed him looking at me after I came out of the shower. I think we are on the verge of needing more privacy.
post #11 of 21
Since I now know we're having a boy I guess I get to think about that one huh? I think I'll stop being undressed in front of our boy when either I, or he is uncomfortable with it. Since I wander around our home nude a lot, I think he will get uncomfortable before I do.
post #12 of 21
Quote:
Monica - I had to laugh at you missing penis because mine is apparently inside my butt.
:LOL :LOL
post #13 of 21

Nude baby

Hi there.

My girlfriends little boy, wanted her to eat some baby clothes, so the baby would come out dressed.
He had seen a birth on TV and was told the baby cried because it was cold.
What a smart little boy.

Silving
post #14 of 21
I have a neighbor who told me she can't take a shower unless her son is sleeping. I told her I just put kid shows on tv for my kids and leave the bathroom door open (living room is about 10 steps from bathroom- babyproofed, of course) so dd can come get me if something is wrong. She replied that it was ok b/c dd has the same 'parts' as me and if dd were a boy, I wouldn't be able to do that. Her ds is 3, same as my dd. I told her I wouldn't care either way.

She told me her dad (who she lives with) lets the son see him out of the shower, but it's 'inappropriate' for son to see mom b/c of different 'parts'.

DH walks around naked all the time- I'm generally dressed, but I'm not worried about my kids seeing me naked. I think it's strange to see such varying opinions on the amount of nudity that's acceptable and when and why.
post #15 of 21

When he started staring at my breasts

and couldn't remember why he came to my room.

About a year ago. He is 10
post #16 of 21
DS is almost 4, dd is 18 mos. I am still nursing and usually topless at least. We too, are not modest. I was told I had a hairy "penis" just a month or so ago I shower with both kids, although it is crowded with the toys and all, but they have fun, and I can get them cleaner without breaking my back bending over the tub. Both kids run around naked(until the baby pees on the floor anyway lol). I run around in panties a lot, doesn't seem to bother ds. When he starts to get modest about his body, then I'll cover up more.
post #17 of 21
My DD will be 4 next month, and she and 2yo DS take bubble baths with their daddy (we've got a garden tub in our bathroom). I haven't had a shower without getting interrupted in I don't know how long, LOL. DD of course notices differences and occasionally makes comments to her dad and I. DS doesn't say much but thinks it's funny to see my "nummies" when I come out of the shower (he's still nursing).
We really dont' worry about it yet, I guess we'll know when the time comes that we need to start covering up.

Melanie
post #18 of 21
I will start covering up whenever they or I start to feel uncomfortable about it (for the kids I would think that would correspond to them starting to behave more modestly.)

Right now my boys are 4 and 6 and we still take baths together, along with my 22 months old daughter. The younger one seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that I'm naked, and the older one is amused by my proportions and likes to slap my flesh to make it jiggle, which he finds riotously funny. (I try to discourage that, however.)
post #19 of 21
My DS1 is 5 1/2 and he's just recently made me think, Oh, maybe we it's time to start covering up more! We've never really been modest... T When DD was potty training, my DS#1 was encouraging her, "Your getting bigger, pretty soon you'll have a penis!" As if it was something that came w/ age!
You'll know it's time to change, when you or your children become uncomfortable. Trust yourself!
post #20 of 21
I saw this and thought about adding something. We are religious Jews and there is something to be said for some decorum of modesty. We are not proudish, we just start to stress modesty after 3 years old (dress and composure) when children can start to comprehend differences. We do also address questions as they arise if needed.
My DH is NEVER naked in front of DD (4 1/2). He feels uncomfortable. DD runs around naked all the time and we try to encourage her to at least wear something so the neighbors don't see. I always try to have something on, except when I just come out of the shower (I can't shower with clothes on). DS (19 months) plays in the bathroom while I shower (the only way for me to shower). The kids bath together and DD laughs at DS when he plays with his penis. I tell her not to laugh since she plays with herself too (which we have discussed she should do in the privacy of her own room). When DS gets to be around 2 and starts to gawk at me, I will stop being naked in front of him. I don't think gawking is very healthy. Yes, wondering and being curious is ok, but gawking and touching is going too far. Especially after 2 years old, except if it's in a nursing capacity.
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