Pacifiers/thumb sucking

[mamamilkers]

I am so clueless about the world of pacifiers and thumb sucking because DD#1 wanted nothing to do with either. So now I'm curious about a few things.

DD#2 seems to like to suck. She doesn't comfort nurse (probably because my over abundant milk supply would drown her if she did!) but she seems to like to suck on her hand when we put it to her mouth or suck on our fingers or anything else that is near her mouth.

Would it be silly to try to introduce a pacifier at this point? At what age do babies start being able to deliberately put their hands/thumbs in their mouth for comfort if they want to suck?

I don't want to get in to a situation where we become pacifier dependent, so I would love to hold out until she can find her hand, but I just don't know when that will be!

Thanks!!!!

[Sailmom]

I don't know when it is that they reliably are able to find their hand or thumb - ds seems to have been able to find his in the womb (per u/s) and has been sucking on his hand since birth. I also introduced a paci at 2 weeks but he is not so excited about it - but he will use it. My dentist told me a paci was better for the teeth, plus, you can take it away - or wean it - at some point. They always have their thumbs. That can also be a good thing as you will never be trying to plug a paci back in a babe's mouth while driving, or when they lose it while sleeping. I try to give ds a paci for soothing, but try not to let him suck on it to sleep - figuring that I don't want him dependent on it for sleep like dd is (she has a paci for nap and bedtime only at 26 months). I have always had a great milk supply - and would drown my dc as well if they nursed for comfort everytime they want to suck. That's my story - hope it helps and nobody flames me!

[SummerTwilight]

I have read that they can't really get their hands reliably in their mouth till about 3-5 months.
Lots of babies like to suck on their hands in utero but they are in such close quarters that they are able to do this as their hands are often stuck up by their face so they don't need the motor control to keep them there. I have been trying to get Aria to take a pacifier since she will suck on our fingers but never lets us put her down unless she has one of our fingers- thereby cleverly still making it so we can't leave her side for a minute and dar-garnet, I need to get some stuff done! She took it for a bit this weekend and I was literally ELATED as she sat for 40 minutes alone. But she hasn't taken it since. I am so depressed. :

[Tofu the Geek]

From what I have read a baby nurses to eat and to comfort suck (as mentioned already). They lean how to suck on the breast so that milk is not released and thus can just suck for comfort.

I also have a ton of milk that comes out at the speed of light! I have been practically drowning DD. She has to gulp and swallow really fast and milk is spraying eveywhere; it is quite a show. She is now 4.5 weeks and my milk and her are just starting to figure each other out. A few days ago it seems she has begun to learn how to comfort suck without soaking herself in milk. I know it's going to get better over the next few weeks as well.

So, I guess my opinion is that if you introduce a pacifier for them to suck on, it will be much harder for them to learn how to comfort suck at the breast. Which then means that when they do want to comfort suck at the breast, they will end up getting a bunch of milk they weren't interested in at the time (and if you have overactive letdown or a ton of milk this means glugging, spraying and spitting up/puking from my experience!).

That being said, we had one night where I let her suck on my pinky because it was obvious she needed to comfort suck (but hadn't yet learned how) and was getting milk she didn't have room for, was all gassy but yet a burp wouldn't come out and had thrown up her milk and refilled and was on the path for setting herself up to puke again. I used my pinky on advice of a La Leche League leader as I was getting very upset with my milk drowing her!

[phoebemommy]

On the topic of comfort nursing --

I'm starting to think one of my breasts is a feeder and the other is a soother. They both make plenty of milk but from one comes out in big sprays and the other it seems like DS has to work to get it out. It wasn't like this at first, it developed a couple weeks ago. Or maybe I'm crazy.

[marymamma]

We use a paci for comfort sucking with Fiona, mainly when I am not available or she refuses the breast, but still wants to suck. I really didn't want to do the paci with her, but I got desperate one night when she was crying and crying and wouldn't take the breast. I put the paci in her mouth and she started sucking on it immediately and stopped crying.

She will also find her thumb and suck on it too, usually when she is in the sling and her hands stay close to her mouth.

DD1 still uses her "binkie" at naptime and bedtime and she is 22 months old. She is using a little more since Fiona was born, but I kinda expected that. She never tried sucking her thumb that I saw.

[ColoradoMama]

Originally Posted by TechnoGranola

So, I guess my opinion is that if you introduce a pacifier for them to suck on, it will be much harder for them to learn how to comfort suck at the breast. Which then means that when they do want to comfort suck at the breast, they will end up getting a bunch of milk they weren't interested in at the time (and if you have overactive letdown or a ton of milk this means glugging, spraying and spitting up/puking from my experience!).

Not necessarily. I suppose that could happen if you used the pacifier ALL the time. I now have two children who have used a pacifier and two that haven't. I felt guilty for years because my oldest daughter used a pacifier - until I had Louis! They both have a very high sucking need, and I just get plain worn out. Not to mention, I find it useful in the car (especially this time since I have three older children that I have to drive places!). Last night Louis nursed for a long time and after that was just really fussy. He would latch on for a minute then off then on. This went on for a while before I finally decided to give him a pacifier. Bam! He went to sleep very quickly. The pacifier fell out about five minutes later and he slept for five hours. Guilt is all gone! Anyway, my daughter nursed for 3 1/2 years and used a pacifier sparingly for about a year. While I hate to see babies who always have a pacifier stuck in their mouths, I have come to realize that they have their place and I am ocassionally grateful for them!

[2 in August]

Ian started off taking a paci, but now he much prefers my index finger. He still can't keep his fingers in his mouth so that makes him upset. So I end up with my finger in his mouth a lot. Last night I tried and tried to latch him on and he was throwing a fit. But, when I popped my finger n his mouth, he fell fast asleep. I kind of wish he would take the bink better so that someone other than me could calm him down.

[marymamma]

Originally Posted by 2 in August

I kind of wish he would take the bink better so that someone other than me could calm him down.

Keep trying...it took my DD1 a while to catch on. Try rubbing the tip of the paci on the roof of his mouth. Both my girls have high sucking needs and I would never get a break if we didn't use the paci. Not to mention it really helps DH when I want to take a shower or cook dinner He doesn't have to sit with a screaming baby and I can do what I need to do without stressing.

[mamamilkers]

Originally Posted by marymamma

Not to mention it really helps DH when I want to take a shower or cook dinner He doesn't have to sit with a screaming baby and I can do what I need to do without stressing.

This is my main concern, as well.

[taradt]

sounds like many of us have overactive milk/non comfort nursers.

we don't have a paci in the house so we have made do with index finger until he has calmed enough to take the breast. It also lets DH soothe him to sleep (he prefers DH's finger to mine).

tara

[veganf]

Originally Posted by phoebemommy

On the topic of comfort nursing --

I'm starting to think one of my breasts is a feeder and the other is a soother. They both make plenty of milk but from one comes out in big sprays and the other it seems like DS has to work to get it out. It wasn't like this at first, it developed a couple weeks ago. Or maybe I'm crazy.

You're not crazy at all! Or else I'm crazy too . I've always had one side that sprays like a fire hose and the other side glugs out like a garden hose. When they just want to suck for comfort, the left side is NOT preferred, heh heh.

We never had any confusion between pacis or breast for comfort sucking with Ryan. I wished so much that A.J. would have accepted a paci, but NOTHING soothed him. Nate will take a paci for a few minutes maximum and then spit it out. He does like to chew on his hands though.

I'm NOT a thumb person. I try hard to avoid them finding their thumbs. But I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world. I much much much prefer a paci.

For Ryan we just NEVER used it at night. During the day and naps are much easier to give up as they get older.

[carolina~mom2be]

Originally Posted by veganf

I've always had one side that sprays like a fire hose and the other side glugs out like a garden hose. When they just want to suck for comfort, the left side is NOT preferred, heh heh.

:


mamamilkers, have you tried using your pinky? I tend to use this to pacify Carolina but it only works for a short time.... I'm not a big fan of the paci, so I too am holding out until she can pacify herself with a hand/thumb.

[LillyGrace'sMommy]

My dd is a paci baby, still! at 16 months! I dread the day she has to give it up!!!! I didn't really want her to be a binky baby, but that is what she needed, and it has really helped with the new baby being here! Now, my sweet boy is a booby man! I call him my booby shark! He is not interested in a pacifier at all (might also be because I don't let him have one, but even when daddy tries, he just spits it out, and wails for momma's boobs!). He is definitely a big comfort nurser, and has to nurse whenever he is upset, tired, wants to sleep, or needs his momma. Occassionally I can get him to take a pinky finger, but only momentarily. I kind of like the bond that we have together, and feel it is different from with my daughter.....although, when he still needs momma to go to sleep when he is 10, well check with me then! But right now, I love it!

[mamamilkers]

Originally Posted by veganf

I'm NOT a thumb person. I try hard to avoid them finding their thumbs. But I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world. I much much much prefer a paci.

Why not? I always assumed thumbs were better than pacifiers, but I don't really know.

Originally Posted by carolina~mom2be

mamamilkers, have you tried using your pinky?

Not really. I should try more. I did the other day and then realized that I needed to cut my darn nails before trying to do that! I don't know if this is wierd, but I wouldn't want to suggest this to DD's father to try because I worry his hands wouldn't be clean enough. He just wouldn't think twice about wiping DD#1's nose and then sticking his finger in DD#2's mouth, KWIM?

I am just paranoid? Are you washing your hands a million times a day if you're sticking them in your DC's mouth?

[carolina~mom2be]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

I am just paranoid? Are you washing your hands a million times a day if you're sticking them in your DC's mouth?

hehe! I am also paranoid and freaked out. I keep hand sanitizer with me and I do wash more hands more often than I used to, but if I feel that my hands are dirty, I will use my knuckle instead - assuming that the back of my hand is possibly cleaner.... I do worry about sticking germs in her little mouth though ( and I don't encourage DH to try this! I understand your thoughts on this! )

[cottontail]

I don't think I'd try to introduce the paci now. If anything, to avoid having to wean it later if she were to not give it up on her own. Our DD never would take a paci, and now I'm glad because everything has been fine without it. And we tried the finger thing and she'd just make a face and spit it out. Nothing but nip for her!

[ColoradoMama]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

Why not? I always assumed thumbs were better than pacifiers, but I don't really know.

Well, both thumb sucking and artificial nipples can cause problems with their teeth (needing more orthodontia later in life). The thing with a pacifier is that you can wean them from it and control how much it's used. A thumb is always available - which maybe some people prefer, and I've only heard of ways that I wouldn't use to get them to stop sucking on their thumb. I have a big prejudice against thumb sucking though, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me!

[phoebemommy]

I'm reluctant to introduce a paci because if we get into the habit, there's one more thing I have to keep track of, keep from falling on the floor, keep out of the dog's mouth, etc. Plus, I don't really want to add it to the mix of what DS might want when his cry is unclear. But he does have a pretty strong sucking urge... I offer him boob all the time and sometimes he's too excited to comfort nurse and gets frustrated, and then I offer him my pinkie knuckle, which seems to satisfy him. When he gets that way, he only needs a quick strong suck on something, so it isn't too much trouble. I figure my knuckle is as clean as a paci that fell on the floor or whatever. I'm trying to keep an open mind, though, because I don't want to deny him something because of my own preferences, and I'm also still torn on this paci vs. thumb issue.

[veganf]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

Why not? I always assumed thumbs were better than pacifiers, but I don't really know.

I guess it's just a personal preference.
I don't like the look of someone's finger jammed in their mouth all the time.
Plus it's a much harder habit to break than a pacifier/soother.
As a nanny the little girl I cared for sucked her thumb for a long time, and was still doing it at age 6, two years after I left. When I used to teach preschool there were always one or two thumb suckers leaving to enter kindergarten each year. And as a kid I remember a 10 year old who still sucked his thumb in school and was teased horribly.
Not to mention the cleanliness factor; a child who sucks his/her thumb will stick the thumb right back in after doing things like going potty, riding in a grocery cart, playing on the playground, climbing up the stairs with hands and feet, reading a library book, etc. and there is no way a parent can wash their thumb every 5 minutes or after every dirty germy activity. A pacifier can be velcroed to their shirt so that when the child removes it it doesn't get dirty (or at least Ryan's never did). And we'd just pop it in the dishwasher each night to sanitize it.
And above all I like that I have control over the paci-weaning process.
So those are my personal reasons for preferring a paci. :