Schedule/sleep routine

[SummerTwilight]

At what age do you guys think is a good time to start establishing sleep patterns/routines? Including day naps and scheduled wake times?
Also at what point do you think it is a good idea to start encouraging kids to soothe themselves and put themselves to sleep? Not that I am worried about Aria sleeping with me at night but since she goes to bed at 7 and I need to stay up and do other things AND it would be GREAT if I could use her day nap times to lay her down and get stuff done, but she just won't tolerate it at this point really and since she startles awake after no more than 10 minutes and cries like she has been abandoned for life I just feel bad laying her down and wind up keeping her with me. Just wondering when it is a good idea for kids to start being able to calm themselves and/or sleep alone for part of the day and how to go about doing it...what do you guys think?

[mamamilkers]

I find that when you start notcing your DC has established their own pattern, you can kind of run with it. I have heard that it's a good idea from early on to do a night time routine (ie, first you take a bath, then put on jammies, then read a book, then nurse, then lie down). I am so terrible at routines, so I still have a hard time doing that with my almost 2 1/2 y.o.!

IMO I don't think children are ready to soothe themselves until they're, ah, ready? I don't know a better way to say it. DD#1 was well past her first birthday before she started being able to put herself to sleep. Of course, I know of children who could do it at eight weeks, but whatever :

I know as a first time mama it seems like it will be forever until you can lay your little bub down and have them go to sleep. The time will come, I promise (and then it will go again, and then come back, and then go for a while . . . you get my drift. Children are fickle!)

[2 in August]

I have to agree. My dd never had a schedule as a baby. She still had to be held very tightly to help her calm down before each nap/bedtime. Otherwise she just couldn't calm down enough to seep and she would cry and cry because she was overtired. Sometime between 1 yr and 2 yrs I started sitting next to her crib and helping her learn to lay quietly. Now she's 5yrs old and I do our night-time routine, leave her and she happily plays in her bed looking at her books and listening to her music for an hour or more before she dozes off.

eta--have you tried swaddling? I thought ds hated it, but after watching the Happiest Baby on the Block video, I tried again. What the dr says and I now agree with is that even if they think they don't like it, we know it's good for them and should do it. Ds will fuss at first for less than a minute, then he calms right down. He will sleep in his amby, if he is swaddled. Otherwise he'll only sleep in my arms.

[veganf]

Around 6 months old we really start a sleep routine. Before that it's just laying the groundwork and figuring out what works for the baby as an individual. I usually start nightweaning between 6-9 months and transitioning them to a separate bed in our room, and then out of the room around a year old.

Right now the only truly routine sleep schedule is nighttime. I go to bed between 9-10pm, and Rob takes care of Nate until he goes to bed around 12-1am. Nate usually falls asleep shortly after I go up to bed, though sometimes he cries for a little while with Rob. He usually nurses at 2 and 4am. I get up at 6:45 with the boys and Nate usually sleep until 8am or so.

Naps are still chaotic, because many days he still sleeps A LOT, and some days he's awake most of the day.

[taradt]

we just go with the flow. My daughter was close to a year old before we had a consistant nap schedule.

It does make it hard to get anything done but they do grow out of it and then you look back fondly on all this cuddling

tara

[mrs rockstar]

During the day my daughter is all over the place but she is (knock on wood ) reliably to sleep for the night at 11 and up for the day between 8 30-9 30. She gets up to eat two or three times in that period but that's it. It's been like that since day one and I hope it doesn't change. I like my sleep!

Other than that, I don't think dd#1 was on a set schedule until about 6-8 months and even then it fluctuated. She put herself on it and I just went with it. I think they'll pick up on your cues after awhile and that helps them set their schedule.

[rebeccalizzie]

I'm starting to really pay attention to ds's sleep/wake patterns the past few days, and I do notice a few constants, so I'm going with them. For instance, I've realized that the reason he starts to get fussy around 10:30 pm is that he's tired, and if I lay him down he'll fall asleep on his own (I don't let him fuss or cry, for some weird reason he just wants to fall asleep by himself at night.) He likes to nap around 3 pm, so I try to be home so he can sleep better, and for that one he likes to be nursed and cuddled to sleep (thank goodness, cause I love to cuddle him when he's sleeping! : )

I figure it will all change in a few weeks as he gets older, but for now it's working for him and I like being able to at least *kind* of predict what he likely is fussing about!

[cottontail]

I don't know what age you'd want to try to establish a routine, but we find letting DD join us wherever we are in the home to work the best. She seems to have sleep/awake times when she needs it and, with the exception of one crazy week, falls asleep when I do or slightly before while I read in bed. Since I prefer to go to sleep around midnight, I figure that I'll continue to let her lead the way and set her own bedtime, as long as it doesn't get too wacky! And as far as getting stuff done, we just pass her back and forth to accomplish what we want or just put it off for another time.

[phoebemommy]

One thing I noticed was that we had a bit of a dysfunctional routine going for a couple weeks. DS would fall asleep downstairs at 6 or 7 in the evening and sleep in his moses basket until we were ready to go to bed. Sometimes he'd want to nurse a little in between, but he'd always put himself back to sleep. The problem came when we were getting ready for real bed (he's still sleeping in the bed with us). He'd be way ready for a new diaper, and I like to put a fuzzibunz on him at night since they don't much leak on us. So I'd go take him to the changing table for the fuzzibunz, and the whole changing table experience would get him all excited and awake. Then I'd be up with him until 2 am, trying to get him back to sleep.

So finally I tried taking him into the bed for a little while while he was still sleeping, and then changing a diaper there, where it's dark and cozy. If he doesn't really need a wipe at that point, I don't even wipe him, since that's part that always wakes him up. It mostly works, this routine, and if he does wake up it's not as crazy wide awake, and I can usually get him back to sleep with just a little time in the rocking chair.

[Katiemare]

I think when it comes to routine--choose something that is beneficial to you and baby.

For example, I didn't like having a set routine for the 2nd nap of the day (once ds1 was about 5-6 mo old) because then I'd be tied down in the house at a time of day when I like to run errands or go out to lunch.

We did, however, benefit from a nighttime sleep routine. I'd say around 4 months old the evening routine and the morning routine were pretty well established.

Right now, with ds2 we are all over the place. I just don't know which way is up most of the time. Having a 2nd child is MORE THAN twice the work!!!