VBAC support/hope/help

[wombatclay]

Heyla mamas!

Any other VBAC-hopefuls out there in the June DDC? Maybe we can share stories of our past c/s and our hopes/plans for upcoming VBACs! Also resources like spinningbabies.com or if anyone knows some great alternative therapies for VBAC support. I know there is a VBAC forum, but this is a little more immediate, you know?

So...introductions...

I had a c/s with my first (and until June, only) babe. We did everything "right"...prenatal yoga and massage, a doula, an amazingly mama-supportive family practitioner at a wonderful mama/baby focused small hospital (they are very much "whatever you want, we'll do"...I could eat, use the whirlpool tub, walk, sway, bounce on the birth balls, chant, whatever!). I went into labor naturally (despite being two weeks post dates) and was unmedicated for most of my 32 hour labor.

However my waters broke on their own before labor contractions began, and although I dilated to 7 cm very quickly (within 5 hours) I remained at 7cm until my section 27 hours later. I was beginning to get feverish and there was some concern about what that might mean considering my lack of progress. I got a spinal in the hopes that a chance to rest might help. It didn't. So despite everything, off to the OR I went

From her molding, it became clear that dd was asynclitic and her head wasn't pressing evenly against the cervix. No pressure=no dilation. The surgeon (whom I had never met) wasn't much from a bedside manner perspective, but the nursing staff was wonderful, my dh went with dd while I was being stitched, dd was brought to me in the recovery room and we were nursing within an hour of the operation. DD didn't leave my side for the rest of the hospital stay (well, not true...she and dh went off for a hearing test, but she was asleep at the time and was only gone with him for about 10 minutes).

After the c/s I was an emotional mess. My doula left me during the prep for my surgery (she told me she "couldn't stay with" a woman having a c/s since it was against her beliefs in birth). Later my therapist (whom I saw to deal with ppd and c/s related depression) essentially told me to "grow up...you have a healthy baby". So it's been a rough 18 months!

I'm so excited about my pregnancy, and I know I'm going to work for a VBAC. I'm too high risk as a VBAC for many of the more gentle care providers here, but I was accepted today by an office called "Every Woman's Care" and the husband/wife doctor team that run the practice are amazing...Heidi Rinehart and Rudy Fedrizzi. Very pro-VBAC!

So I'm really excited, and scared, and happy, and worried, and all mixed up! What about you?

[wendimarie]

I am having a VBAC as well. I don't have time to write out my c-section story right now (trying to pack for vacation) but it was an emergency c-section and I was diagnosed with PTSD afterwards. It was a very bad experience. I do have a very healthy 2 year old now :-) We are having a home birth and I would like to have a waterbirth.

[todavia]

thanks clay for starting this thread!

the short version of my c-section story is: at my 38 week checkup i was 1cm dilated and 80% effaced - felt great. a few days later i noticed decreased fetal movement in the morning, called the doctor and went in to be monitered. at some point, they "lost" the heartbeat - not sure if he just moved or if he was having decelerations and we'll never know b/c of course i was alone in the room. they sent me for an u/s which showed that while fluid and baby looked good, my placenta looked "tired". so they scheduled an induction for that night. i went to the hosp at 10, spent 2.5 hours in triage while they waited for a room to open up, got to the room, got cervidil, had a bad reaction - basically my uterus clamped down and wouldn't relax, baby HB dropped to 50, alarms going off, nurses running in and yelling at me to turn over while they gave me shots of magenesium to stop the contrax. cervidil out. by 6 am they're telling me i need pitocin and they're going to put in an epidural cathetar "just in case" even though they'll hold the meds until we know what's happening. 8 am - maybe two little contractions, a couple more dips in the fetal heartrate (though not as severe as before) and they tell me they're going to break my water and give me one hour to see what i can do. of course b/c i'm terrified and unable to move around and my body was not ready for labor - there was no progress in an hour. so my son was born via c-section at 11 am.

I also got the "well your baby is okay and that's all that matters" speeches and of course it's ultimately true but still...not at all the birth experience i was hoping for.

this time i'm planning a homebirth with a great midwife who i met with for the first time yesterday. i trust her completely and am working on trustinng my body's ability to have the birth i want.

the one thing that was a little unsettling was that she told me that she doesn't have a backup doctor for vbacs because they all think it's way too high risk so if for whatever reason we do need to transfer, we'd just go to the closest hospital and take whoever was on call. i'm hoping that won't happen anyway but it makes it an even less appealing scenario.

definitely having all the same jumble of feelings that you are but mostly trying to stay positive and hopeful...

[Jilian]

I did not have a cesarean birth but I am a doula who is assisting a VBAC homebirth in a few months. I've heard so many success stories about VBACS, I think you will do just fine. I'm really sorry that your doula abandoned you That is AWFUL and a doula should NEVER do that to a woman. I have a few questions for you that may help with your next birth:

Do you think there may have been an emotional reason for your labor to have stalled? Many women have stalled labors because or unresolved emotional issues. Anything from being mad at your DH, to being afraid of parenthood, to being a victim of past sexual abuse can stall a labor. If there was something you think could have stalled the labor, try to deal with it before your next birth. It's best to have everything out in the open so you can go into labor with a clear head and no worries.

Also, just because your last baby was not positioned nicely does not mean that this baby will not be positioned nicely. Stay as upright as possible (squat or use the birth ball if you can) and the baby will get him/herself into the proper position to make contractions more effective.

The rate of uterine rupture is so unbelievably low that it's not really a big issue - so don't let it worry you. Especially if there has been at least a year for it to heal between pregnancys.

Don't let anyone tell you that you don't have the right to be upset over your cesarean birth. Sometimes people feel so bad and they don't know what to say so they throw out comments like "At lease you have a healthy baby" or "Be happy she's alive" etc. Ignore these comments and allow yourself the time to heal and process the birth. Take it as a learning experience. If you still have unresolved issues with your doula why not write her a letter or call her and let her know her actions hurt you. Feedback like that is good, and maybe it will help some of her future clients.

Good luck with your VBAC, I think you will do just fine

[jennay]

I had a c-section with my first (will be 4 next week!) and an unmedicated hospital VBAC with my second! (he'll be 3 in Dec.) If this pregnancy sticks I will of course be planning another VBAC.

[lunaleau]

Is this thread still active?

I am planning my vbac for June as well and wondering if this thread was still around?

[Ks Mama]

Had a C-sec with my first, after 31 hours of labor - mostly unmedicated. The very end was crazy, I was SO tired, DD was forhead posterior presentation, and not descending - I was pushing, midwife was trying everything possible, doctor couldn't vacuum because of her presentation. Baby was fine, went to C-section, and frankly, I was GRATEFUL... the epidural was the worst part of labor that I experienced. It was SO painful, didn't relieve my back labor pain, the needle hurt more than contractions! I honestly don't have any lingering regrets about my C section... I consider myself fortunate to have had nursing staff, doctor, and midwife who were supportive & respectful. It certainly wasn't my first choice, but everything turned out fine - babe was healthy, I healed quickly, and breastfeeding went well, after a few days.

Even after all of that.... this time we're doing things slightly differently - hiring a doula, going with an OB instead of midwife (more because of location than anything else), and laboring MOSTLY at home, instead of in the hospital. And NO ONE in my birthing room other than DH, doula, and doctor. Last time, EVERYONE in my family & DH's family were there - honestly. At one point there were about 10 people crowded around the bed. Yikes.

I'm also starting to see a chiropractor early, taking non-hospital based birthing class, and doing prenatal yoga.

I DO NOT want another epidural - frankly, I want that less than I want another C-section (how's that for ironic)!

[Jilian]

BTW, the VBAC mama that I mentioned a while back ended up having a successful VBAC! She did have a very long labor (50+ hours) but she did it! Her babe was in a weird position and took a while to turn. Luckily she was able to stay home for a majority of the labor, I don't think she would have gotten her VBAC if she had gone to the hospital earlier, I think she would have been labeled with "failure to progress" again.

[mrsalf97]

I'm having a vbac this time too.

[WhiteWax]

I'm not a vbac mama but I wanted to say good luck ladies!!!!!!

[Shell_Ell]

I did not have a c-section with my first but his labor was just awful. So I have a lot of the same feelings going into it as a lot of VBAC mamas do. I hope it's okay if I chime in here every now and again.

[lunaleau]

still active

I guess the answer is yes! I am due June 1st ( whatever that means...) I had planned a hb with #1, had to transport after 20 + hours to hosp, labored some more ( I hear you about the epidural, had one, didn't work, just made life worse) Total labor 39 hours or so. Got the c-section, my son was 11lbs 6oz. yes he really was. Planning to vbac this time, have a different mw this time, originally was going to use a hosp based practice with a 95% vbac success rate but I am so unhappy with them. But still cannot get my head around success this time, any thoughts, I am up late with self doubt...

[roadfamily6now]

I am due in May but will be having my 5th VBAC.

Good Luck to you all!

[Ks Mama]

Originally Posted by lunaleau

( I hear you about the epidural, had one, didn't work, just made life worse) Total labor 39 hours or so.

It's good to hear this wasn't just my experience! Seems like everyone I've ever talked about had a great experience with epidural - slept, made labor move along, etc. Just made everything come into sharper focus for me - the pain, the bright lights, the crowd of people, the pressure of time, etc.

Originally Posted by lunaleau

But still cannot get my head around success this time, any thoughts, I am up late with self doubt...

I am struggling too. DH & I have hired a doula, whom we really like, and she teaches birthing classes - which start in another month or so, which we're hoping will help me focus more on the positive aspects of birth!

Also, I've been reading Birthing from Within, and really like it so far - whenever I'm feeling a little low, confused, etc. about labor/birth, I pick it up to any chapter & just read a bit. I recommend it.

[lunaleau]

strategies

Thanks for the ideas, good to know I am not alone. Yes, we have a doula as well ( I am also one by profession- go figure!) I think part of what is so hard for me is that I did Birthing from Within, had 2 doulas, a hb midwife, and still had a c-section, so I am stuck in this "if it didn't work last time, why would it work this time?" mode. I am also in a different place this time already having a child that the risks, albeit remote, so much more upsetting. Am I just winding myself up for no reason? How do I turn off my brain?

[todavia]

i wish i had a good answer for you luna but i really don't.
i also tend to obsess about things but for some reason vbac is not one of them. i feel like the thing that having a c-section taught me (apart from knowing that i don't want another one) is that there are some things i just can't control. it seems simple, but for me it was a tough one.
so this time, i am much more well-read (of course since you're a doula you've already got this covered), much more relaxed, and just have faith in myself, my support people and my baby that we can have a successful homebirth.
now of course, i know there is a possibility that this won't happen but i think staying focused on the positive is saving me a lot of stress that won't help in the end. what will be, will be and whatever that is will ultimately be okay.
i'm not a meditation person but i think the whole purpose is to quiet the mind so maybe that could help...
glad you revived this thread and happy to have you here in the DDC.

[wombatclay]

I'm so glad this thread came to life again! I sort of thought that as we all got further along these things would start coming more to mind...

I'm in the "I did it right the first time so why should anything I do this time work if it didn't work then?" boat. And in fact, I'm not doing nearly as much to prepare this time just because with a 2yo, a house in constant need of repair, and a job outside the home I simply don't have the time or energy to "pamper" myself with all the prenatal yoga and meditation and journaling and birth classes and...well...all that stuff.

I'm trying to just let that go...mamas have had babies for hundreds of thousands of years without books and classes and prenatal exercise groups so I'm just trying to do what I can and "forgive" the rest. I got the HypnoBabies home study course in the hopes that it will at least help me relax and de-stress and focus on the positive. My c/s birth story is in the opening post and honestly...there's a lot there that was positive. Just not the "whole picture". And I think I let the negative elements dictate how I saw the whole experience (instead of focusing on the wonderful support I got from the nurses, the care and support of my DH, the absolute joy of holding my DD and nursing her, the wonderful "after birth shower" when I was able to wash off all the sweat and surgical goo and really feel "back", etc).

So this time I know what can happen, and I know it can happen to anyone no matter how well you prepare...and I'm hoping that helps me find the strength to do what I can and to be HAPPY with what I accomplish. Even if what I accomplish doesn't look like my birth plan or ideal birth vision. It's going to be okay.

Actually, that's sort of my mantra these days "It's Okay, it's okay, it's okay"

I've interviewed two doulas and have chosen one...after my horrible experience with my doula in the last birth I was really hesitant to hire a doula again, but I think it will work out. Both doulas I met have attended VBAC mamas (at the hospital I'll be at and with the OBs I'm using) and these two women are actually doula partners! So it's a good thing I like them both since they provide back up for each other's mamas. And this time I think I'll feel much more confident about "telling" my doula what I want/need since I'm more familiar with the birth process. So that's good.

Sigh...I just sort of wish it was mid-June and I had this all behind me, you know? Silly, and I'm enjoying being pregnant, but still. I wish I could just wake up in the morning and say "gee, remember how well the birth went?"

[jrojala]

The "It's okay" mantra is great!!

[brookesmommy]

I had a c-section with my dd back in 2004. She was breech. This baby is sitting breech right now. I'm hoping the baby will turn though. I am going to give a homebirth a try if the midwife will let me. I have a feeling if I go to the hospital it will be another c-section.

[dara00]

thanks for the link violetisadora!

My daughter was born 2 years ago today via emergency c-section. I feel that I did a lot of things wrong in her birth and I'm hoping to fix those things with this current baby.

Let's see if I can sum up what happened with Gabbie. I went to the hospital when my contractions were 5 minutes apart, I think. They hooked me up right away and my doctor said he saw decels on her heartrate so he broke my water to see if she was in distress. She wasn't. But then I was tied to the monitors and the bed. I was only 1 cm dilated. They started pitocin and I got an epidural. Once that happened I had a really long contraction and her heart rate dropped and they had to stop contractions, rushed me to the OR, etc. Her heart rate went back up so I was brought back to continue labor. Once they decided to start pitocin again, her heart rate started going up and down (spiking?) and they decided to do the c-section. See all my mistakes?

This time I'm planning to labor at home, I have a doula, I'm going to try to go unmedicated as long as possible (not ruling it out entirely), I'm going to walk and stay out of the bed as long as possible, etc.

Good luck to everyone!