Did you learn about birth choices before your first child? - Page 3

[poetesss]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

It's about time for another PSA in I'm Pregnant. I did a little advert for this forum in there and in the main DDC forum about a year ago.

Keep that up! Even though I had been reading about midwifery and nat'l childbirth way before TTC (like since high school) for some bizarre reason it never even crossed my mind to come to the birth and beyond forum here until I read your advert earlier this year. It's definitely added to my experience to actually read and discuss with others rather than just reading on my own. Thanks!

ETA: Reading what Joseph Chilton Pearce had to say about hospital childbirth and the way the common practices there harshly welcome a child into the world was a major eye opener and one of the first things that led me to research other options.

[Rockies5]

I had read and researched and learned most of what I know now before I ever gave birth.

But you do learn alot simply by going throguh the process.

I knew so much because I had witnessed a messed up hospital birth and seen a free woman who was well educated and had a birth plan rolled down the usual lane of interventions and patronized the WHOLE time. If I hadn't seen that first hand I probably would have had to learn it all the hard way: by experience only.

[njbeachgirl]

I started reading for the DONA doula certification a few months before I got pregnant. That got me more interested in natural childbirth, which was something I always knew I would consider. I just thought natural meant "without pain meds" though.... I didn't realize how much the medical model is different from how a woman might birth in nature.

Now I am 30 weeks pregnant and still learning, but I would say more well informed than the average person. I switched from an OB to a midwife (YAY!) and I have read so many books (and MDC posts!!! ) that I feel confident in knowing a lot more about pregnancy, labor and birth now. I feel like I can be my own advocate and not totally turn my care over to anyone-- my body, my instinct, my decision.

Now I am also researching things such as vaccinations and questioning everything. It feels great.

That being said I see a lot of my PG/TTC friends and they are either not very well informed about birth choices, or are really fans of the whole medical/interventionist model of birth. To each their own but I just can't see things that way, personally.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by savithny

I was already titchy at WTEWYE over the patronizing attitude I found in the early sections (the woman who drank daily martinis while pregnant with *her* first dares to tell us all that if we "slip" and eat a bagel once a month we *probably* won't have done harm?) ...

and Henci Goer's THinking Woman's Guide.

My cousin gave us copies of both WTFWYE and TWG, and they're currently on my dresser at home and I woke up one night to use the bathroom and grabbed a book to read. I started reading "and be sure to count your calories" I was thinking "wow I really need to be careful with what I eat when I get pregnant" and seriously worrying about it until I realized that I *wasn't* reading TWG. As soon as I realized I was looking at WTFWYE, I started laughing instead of studying.

on your loss and also on having a stupid book tell you lies about it.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Rockies5

I knew so much because I had witnessed a messed up hospital birth and seen a free woman who was well educated and had a birth plan rolled down the usual lane of interventions and patronized the WHOLE time. If I hadn't seen that first hand I probably would have had to learn it all the hard way: by experience only.

Birth plans are actually one of the things that cemented my decision to homebirth.

[boscopup]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

: note to self, in case of transfer have dh bring laptop with wireless card.

Oh, DH had the laptop and wireless card, but the antepartum unit doesn't have wireless access at my hospital!!! : The postpartum unit does though. Does that make ANY sense at all? No! It's the women on bedrest for weeks and weeks and weeks that *really* need the Internet access to keep sane.

Technically, we *did* have Internet access, but it was through DH's bluetooth cell phone, so I could check e-mail, but actually surfing the Internet for hours and hours was not going to happen.

[SusannahM]

I did, and ended up having a homebirth. I'd read a little bit about the risks of having an epidural, so we had already decided to have a natural childbirth before we got pregnant. While we were in the class for natural childbirth at the hospital, I learned you have to fight the hospital every step of the way, the high rate of caesarean, that you can't eat or drink during labor, etc. So, I started looking into things more and thinking about a birth center birth or homebirth. The last straw was when my OB refused to wait until the cord stopped pulsing the clamp the cord (which, during my research, I'd decided I REALLY wanted). So, we started interviewing midwives, and in that process, I discovered there's not a major difference between a birth center birth and a homebirth, so we went with the homebirth. I am SO glad we did, it was wonderful to be at home with my baby right after the birth.

[ccohenou]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

: note to self, in case of transfer have dh bring laptop with wireless card.

Funny, in my last birth I wished I had the time and resources to run down to the medical library to check on whether the docs and anesthesiologists were BSing me (about really needing general rather than regional anesthesia while hemorrhaging). No time, no opportunity...I ended up having to trust them. It turns out they were right, anyway.

I read obsessively about birth before and during my first pregnancy, and the second...sorry to be a downer, but a fat lot of good it did me .

[pumpkinsmama]

I didn't. I had complete faith that all doctors know what is best medically. : I've learned a lot since then.... :

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by ccohenou

Funny, in my last birth I wished I had the time and resources to run down to the medical library to check on whether the docs and anesthesiologists were BSing me (about really needing general rather than regional anesthesia while hemorrhaging). No time, no opportunity...I ended up having to trust them. It turns out they were right, anyway.

I read obsessively about birth before and during my first pregnancy, and the second...sorry to be a downer, but a fat lot of good it did me .

Honestly, I'd far rather regret that the knowledge wasn't enough than regret not getting the knowledge.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by pumpkinsmama

I didn't. I had complete faith that all doctors know what is best medically. : I've learned a lot since then.... :

u spoke my words. yet i will say i do like my OB. the first thing he said when i went back after birth (he knew how badly i wanted a unmed. vag birth) was that i could definitely have a VBAC with my next child. and if i told him i wanted a UC which is how i wanna go he would totally support me on it. he would probably find resources for me too.

[boscopup]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Honestly, I'd far rather regret that the knowledge wasn't enough than regret not getting the knowledge.

: Some things are just out of our control. Complications are "natural" too, and we can't forget that. I was not planning to be in a hospital, but I ended up there anyway. We don't know why it happened, and probably never will (so far, this pregnancy seems to be going full term - I'm 5 weeks ahead of when I had DS#1). And unfortunately, we can't carry a full medical library in our head, with what is appropriate in each and every complicated situation. That's where having a good provider is *really* helpful, so that you CAN trust them when they're having to make the major decisions. I know in my case, having my midwife on the phone and hearing from her not to let them check my dilation may have saved me from getting a uterine infection or from my baby getting an infection during the days that I was "kept pregnant". The nurses *really* wanted to check dilation when I came in, and you just don't do that after PPROM when you intend for the mom to stay pregnant possibly for weeks!

[ananas]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

I hang out on the TTC forum quite a bit (for fairly obvious reasons ) and a number of the TTC #1 gals don't seem to be looking into birth much at all. So I was wondering, is that common? Even amongst MDCers?

Sadly, it does seem to be pretty common. I think it takes a bad birth experience for a lot of people to look for a better alternative.

I'm not a mother, nor am I TTC, but my first birth will be a UC. So, some people do look into their options before their first birth

[Snowdrift]

I did. Had a homebirth.

But otoh, I also read a lot of birth stories here and other places of traumatic hospital expereinces that mainstream folks would probably just suck up and not allow themselves to recognize as traumatic and that, in combination with a *serious* fear of hospitals led me to end up getting extensive dual care "just in case" I needed to transfer. I was terrified of having to transfer and not having medical records.

Might have been a case of knowing too much or merely a case of pregnancy nerves, but I hope that next time I am strong enough to quiet that voice of concern and not go through all that medical stuff.

Of course, here there is an out-of-hospital BC run by CNM's and they are homebirth supporters so they may be good allies.

[RockStarMom]

Of course. Not enough, though- I didn't even know what UC was, and I now regret not having one.

[bravofrenchie]

Well, I have yet to have my first child, and here I am!

[Azza]

We're pregnant with our first and have been researching since we started TTC. About to switch from an OB to a midwife