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Question's you wished you would have asked BEFORE birth

post #1 of 59
Thread Starter 
Since we're talking PSA's (over in the research thread), I think THE most important thing any woman can do is ask questions of her care provider, ideally before care is initiated, but at the latest before birth.

What are some questions you wished you would have asked your care provider BEFORE birth? (Or questions you are glad you asked?)
post #2 of 59
Ooo, a spin off! I'm definitely subscribing to this one and taking notes!
post #3 of 59
Thread Starter 
I count my intact perineum as one of the best gifts I've ever given myself. (I need that on a T-shirt) One of the reasons my perineum has never torn or been cut is because I asked, "What to do you to ensure perineum integrity?" Or maybe I just said, "I don't want to tear and I don't want to be cut. What are you going to do about that?"

The answer I got was what I wanted -
- No episiotomies
- Warm Compresses
- Perenial support
- No forced pushing
- No "Purple Pushing" (pushing till your face turns purple)
- Woman led positioning
- Perenial massage instruction given to partner
- Time and space to feel comfortable with my birth process
post #4 of 59
"How will my labor be effected by this pitocin?"
post #5 of 59
Thread Starter 
Oh, Marie, that's such a good one. Talk about a slippery slope!
post #6 of 59
What are the dangers of having my water broke?

Will induction and pit effect my ability to tolerate natural labor?

Will I decide when it is time to push? (with ds1 they would not let me; dd1 I could not feel anything as the ODed me with the epi)

Is there a chance I could die if I get an epidural? (Almost did with ds1 and dd1)

Is there a way to avoid epes and if I do get one, how long until it is healed? (I went around for nearlt 12 wekks with popped open stitches with ds1)

Do you have to push painfully on my tummy after birth?

Does the baby need the vit K shot?

Why does the baby need to be under the warmer and what are the alternatives?

When should I offer the breast to my new arrival?

Can we do all exams on my chest in the first two hours or so?

What women are good canidates for hospital births and how should birth at home?

What positions are best during different stages og labor?

I will not be expected to lay on my back, right?

I will not be expected to be hooked up to monitors, right?

This is off the top of my head.

This is also why #4 will be arriving at home in 3 weeks. I have educated myself and now can answer these and many more questions myself. I will no longer cave based oin false trust or lack of knowledge. :
post #7 of 59
Wow...this thread stirred alot of emotions for me.
post #8 of 59
In what instance would you consider me to need a c-section and why? (I wish I had asked this before they induced me, I had no idea it could end in section, but then I was really uneducated at the time)

If I refuse a section what action would you take? (brought to mind by recent threads, not personal experience)
post #9 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spark View Post
Since we're talking PSA's (over in the research thread), I think THE most important thing any woman can do is ask questions of her care provider, ideally before care is initiated, but at the latest before birth.

What are some questions you wished you would have asked your care provider BEFORE birth? (Or questions you are glad you asked?)
Since I have had all female OBs, two with children, I have always asked them if they took the AFP test with their pregnancies, and if not, why? None of my OBs did the AFP test and said that they felt that it had too much of a margin error either way and would just give people stress or a false sense of security.

Because I had csections, even though I will have repeats, I always ask what their csection rate is, do they support natural childbirth, and do they do VBACs. I would not go to an OB who did not support natural childbirth or VBAC. I am just more or less curious about their csection rate. another thing I ask is in their surgical experience how do they do the closures on their cesarean deliveries and hysterectomies? All of them have said they do staples the majority of the time, two of them have said though that if it was them having a surgical birth they would have sutures. I asked my latest OB if she used "super glue" to close on her csections and I was told absolutely not, and she doubted she ever would.

I always ask if I can refuse care from one of my OBs partners, even if they are the one on call.

I always discuss issues surrounding premature birth since this is something I am at risk for (knock on wood it has never happened). My husband and I do not want extraordinary measures taken before 27 weeks gestation, and we would like that respected. My last two OBs have agreed to this, as has my pediatrician should we ever have to face this dilema.
post #10 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Why does the baby need to be under the warmer and what are the alternatives?
In case no one gets a straight answer from their doctor on this, I wanted to comment on this question. First, this really should be discussed with the hospital staff BEFORE you give birth. Find out what their policies are. For example: Cesearean section babies often lose body temperature more rapidly than vaginally birthed babies and have a harder time maintaining their temperature. If they are bathed after birth, there is usually a mandatory time of staying in the warmer. (about an hour) One of the things I have done with my last two cesarean births was to talk to the nursery staff and my own nurse in L&D about avoiding the baby warmer. What they usually do is when I get in recovery, is that they place the baby on my chest and then place 2-3 heated blankets on top of me and the baby. They can also heat up the hospital baby blankets that you can wrap your baby in as well. Katie had a hard time maintaining her temp and this is what we did, as well as avoid bathing and passing her around to various family members. My baby's nurse was happy to do all her assessments and tests (we have ABO incompatibility) all right there on my chest under our heated blankets.
post #11 of 59
Will these pain meds affect my ability to breastfeed?

I just learned YESTERDAY, months after my second failed attempt at breastfeeding that fentanyl is linked to early discontinuance of breastfeeding and low supply. I had chalked it up to defective boobies. Homebirth next time!
post #12 of 59
My first question next time:

What is your policy for breech presentation?
post #13 of 59
I don't know... I thought I knew an awful lot back then... and I even asked some questions... like why episiotomies? I was answered by the people who thought they were better than tearing. Somewhere deep inside I think I knew that if unmedicated childbirth was better because a woman's body is capable, I could assume the same about the integrity of my perfectly fashioned, God given vagina! However, the people I trusted spoke louder to me then than my own deep thought process.

I would also ask the question about the baby warmer... and about the AROM. Heck, if I was gonna do it again, I really think I'd be talking to home birth midwives... not CNM's this time.

So there!
post #14 of 59
Will you allow delayed cord clamping if that is my wish?

Will your care for me change if I refuse "routine" prenatal tests? (I'm thinking of u/s, gestational diabetes, group beta strep, triple screen etc..)
post #15 of 59
bump
post #16 of 59
I shoulda asked what drugs I got AFTER birth. They gave me a shot of morphine after having my 1st and I was out for 2 days! I feel like I missed out on the first few days of bonding.
post #17 of 59
I asked all the questions I should have asked before the birth. at about 35 weeks or so. But it was too late. I should have asked those questions when I first stepped into my OB's office. Then I would have gone elsewhere.

The questions I asked were

Can I eat in labor?
Answer- You're probably not going to feel like it. Though you can have small snacks if you want.

Do I have to have an IV?
Answer- Yes.

Can I get up an move around during labor?
Answer- Yes

I want to go into labor on my own without induction
Answer- Pitocin's not that bad. Women just think that its worse than it is because they're already in the hospital. Besides, you're already dilating and effacing so all I'll have to do is break your water.
(I passed on the induction)

Who will be there at the birth if you can't make it?
(I forgot to ask that one, would have been good to know)

If mom and baby are fine would it be okay if I got off the monitor after the initial monitoring?
Answer-Yes

I don't want an episiotomy.
Answer- (Frowning) I don't do them that often, but sometimes they're necessary.

I asked all the important questions this time at the begining of pregnancy. I interviewed four midwives before I found the one that I wanted. The first four seemed pretty nice too, I just didn't click with them as much.
post #18 of 59
Are you present during full labor? My ob was conspicuously absent for the first 2 hours I pushed, and then he left again and returned another 2 or 3 hours later. I was still pushing. Then had a c/s. Those first 2 hours, it turned out that I was not fully dilated. Oops.
post #19 of 59
From my experience, after my last baby..

1) What is your breech presenation protocol - ie what are you going to do if I come anytime from week 37 on and my baby is breech?

2) Can I have complete access to my records, so that I can inspect and review them during my care, if I don't feel that you are being complete forth coming and open with me?

3) Can your staff schedule visits out more than 1 at a time, especially towards the end when you have to start going more than once a month?
post #20 of 59
This thread is making me twitch as I am wondering why all the questions when some of these could be affirmations...ie) instead of "do you do delay cord clamping"..."No cord clamping/cutting until it is done pulsating", but that is just me
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