Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Actually, viewing this as a "things to ask before you select a care provider" list, what's making me twitch is all the stories about how the provider was supportive and saying all the right things until the actual time came.
I actually started this thread as my SIL found out she was pregnant and was considering interviewing her gynocologist before deciding to use the gyno as her OB. I urged her a couple times (then I dropped it even though in my head I'm shouting PLEASE INTERVIEW AT LEAST THREE!) to at least interview her gyno and then a couple others before deciding who she was going to deliver with.
I think another interesting point about questions has been brought up, too. A couple years ago a first time pregnant friend and I were talking about episiotomies. She didn't know what they were & I pulled a few books for her. She immediately understood the overuse and damage that they can cause. She decided she didn't want one. I asked her what her OB's view of episiotomies were and she had no clue. The next appt she asked and he told her "reasuringly" that she'd never have an episiotomy unless she needed one. She was very calmed until she told me triumphantly and I as lovingly as I could asked her what he meant by that. She went back the next month and asked, "In your last 10 vaginal births how many women did you give an epitsiotomy to?" He responded 9. He gave episiotomies to 9 out of 10 vaginally birthing women! My friend was quitely outraged. The next month she went in and said she didn't want any episiotomy. He said he'd try but she might need one. Every appointment she got firmer until finally she said "I do not consent to an episotomy." He finally heard her. The next week she went into labor, ended up with a different OB on duty and a big episiotomy. She was fine at first, but a year later she was really upset and felt defeated.
I started this thread in hopes of preventing another person I care about suffering. It's not just the information we want to get from a provider, but also how we really get a clear picture.
If you never ask the question, you never know the answer. That goes for asking your own self, your MW, you OB, your doula, your partner or who ever you choose to be present as you birth your baby.