Originally Posted by SweetAfton
MSIL has pretty much twice as many votes as CSIL. And this is a pretty crunchy board. I bet on a mainstream board votes for MSIL would be off the charts!
I personally don't see this as a crunchy vs. mainstream issue (despite "CSIL" and "MSIL"). I think the "sides" mostly based on one (or both) of two things.
The first is whether we, as outsiders, see this as a hospitality issue or a "telling someone how to parent" issue. I see it as the latter, so my sympathies there are with CSIL.
The second is whether we, as individuals, are more focussed on the behaviour of guests or of hosts. (That's probably not the best way to put it, but I'm not thinking clearly these days.) From my personal perspective, I will bend over backwards and make many allowances for anybody who is an invited guest in my home. If I have such an issue with someone that I can't/won't accommodate them, then I simply won't invite them at all. For me
, being a good hostess trumps being a good guest. (This is probably also coloured by my tendency to avoid social situations in which I'm a guest in someone else's home.) So, again, I'm with CSIL.
Mind you, I still think they're both acting badly...
ETA: I just thought of another aspect...whether we see this as a "hostess/guest" thing at all. I don't think of family visiting me as having guests in the first place. Things like the peanut butter, even if they would bother me in a more formal situation, wouldn't even cross my mind if it was family that were visiting me.