Help with some GD advice

[MommytoB]

I want to be able to be a 'gentle discipline parent but my son is at the 'area that I don't know what next 'step to do' .

That it is really starting to affect a 'mental health issue I have (long story) and so far trying to find the 'right person' to help me with that but haven't found the 'right one yet.

My son is having the 'no listening, doing 'everything I said no too, will not 'come' when I ask him he even goes 'no way no way & runs off.

If I try to bring him he will 'fight & fight or have a temper tantrum. He's in the gimmie now stage , he is in the throwing anything, spitting & laughing after he does that & that is when he's not even in a tantrum.

I redirect he gets back to the 'same spot' and if I remove him from the 'area with me' he will 'be back to the 'no no area within 5 seconds & not be able to stay with me.

So lately I feel 'bad enough that my methods have not been gentle discipline & I hate that I feel like I have to 'yell' to get my son to follow what I do. I get other urges too which is not good urges it's the about to lose control urges in frustration.

I even clap my hands & snap fingers to get him to pay attention or to follow but he doesn't

[hipumpkins]

Can you make somethings a game? Just as an example sometimes my DD doesn't want to brsuh her teeth..She is now old enough to use the Barbie toothpaste so each night "barbie" calls her to the bathroom and asks her about her day. (Barbie's voice is really me don't tell her )
Or maybe shoes...if getting shoes on is problem can you play shoe store? Oh excuse me would you like to try teh green or blue? Maybe both...go out with 2 differnt shoes on.
Are there things you can let go in order for him to feel some control?
My daughter never cared about what she was wearing but I know some kids like choice...red socks or blue?
Do you ever pretend he is an animal to get him to more inclined to hear you? Sometimes DD likes to pretend she is dog and I call her like one and say things lie, "Come on put your fur on (clothes) or bedtime fur (PJs) socks or paw covers and shoes are paw cover covers.

Can you play race...Can you get your hat before me?


As for spitting can you allow him to have a space to spit? Like spit only in the potty or outside on the grass?

For throwing...can you get some throwable toys...nerf and say..You CAN throw thses but not the blocks!

Remember GD is not a way to get kids to listen to you but rather a way for you to listen to your kids.

[MommytoB]

He not of that kind of 'follower' he is at the stage of no matter what I do or be , or 'pretend to be . If I act like an animal he will be the pretend animal -not workable, racing-not the mood type for it , too smart for pretending what 'actual ' clothes are if I try too he goes no mama they are socks, shoes, shirt, coat, hat, diapers.

He's very smart for his age & he can outwit his momma very good. I can't even get him to 'stay put' and I tell him no no no do not do that -take him away back to that area he goes even if he gets a ouch or a bonk does that 'stop him nope'.

[hipumpkins]

Too smart to play? Hmmm..
Anyway..the ideas were suggestions b/c you didn;t give us any actual actions. Maybe tell us some things that you are having trouble with. yopu can't expect him to listen 100% so in what areas is more imortnat?
CAn you help him in the area that isn't supposd to be in..let him explre it carefully with you?

[alegna]

Please explain a specific example and I'll see what I can come up with. He's the same age as dd and she is occasionally tricky to get to cooperate. But often I find that my expectations are just too high. Just because she *understands* doesn't mean that she can make herself do it.

-angela

[MommytoB]

Jumping off of tables, counters, couch, bed, chairs , counters, turning on water faucets, throwing things purposely at the lamps thinking it's funny when he knocks one down(one busted already), playing with the cords, getting into the computer inside or unplugging the back of it & messing with those cords while the 'power is still on', messing with our computer when 'it's not game time for him on the computer actuallly one time erased a important pat of my computer which ruined that computer and the 2nd one he opened a email that had a bad thing in it that cost me 75 $ to get the computer fixed.

Actually put his head through a 'scarf' hole he stretched it out. Removing cushions from the couch & jumping from too .

Dressing he can get 'undressed easily' but he will be running naked while i am chasing him and if i do get him 'he's not a 'stander upper' he will bend & fold his knees as if he's in a ball and each time I get one foot in he takes it off with the other foot.

Only thing that is 'easy is 'toothbrushing & him getting his jammies on.

[alegna]

Redirect redirect redirect. Don't let him climb up on things. Stay right on top of him. When dd is in a mood like that I just stay right with her and take her down a thousand times in a row- calmly saying (-every time-) the couch is for sitting, not standing (or whatever fits the action)

good luck!

-Angela

[MommytoB]

I do that and he thinks it's a game he goes does that over & over laughing his head off and going Yay . I even try to 'switch his 'attention' too different things but if he's interest in something that's what he will 'stay interested in doing', It's a very tricky thing definetly.

[alegna]

Then find some way to make it not an option- block his access, go to a different room, hold him in your lap and read a book etc

-Angela

[earthcore]

Is he getting enough outdoor play? Sounds like he has lots of energy.

[einalems2]

Maybe it is a sleep or food issue. I know when my kids get overly tired, they are absolutely bonkers. When well rested for several days, they are the sweetest kids on the earth. I found that a really early bedtime works wonders for them. Asleep by 7:00. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my DD. But one late night takes us all out of whack. Doesn't hurt to try.

Also, the obvious. Sugar, food additives, caffeine. We try to stick to a healthy diet, but junk frequently sneaks in and boy, can I tell when my DS has had sugar. I don't know what your diet is like, but kids systems are really sensitive to some stuff. Try adding ground flax seed to cereals, smoothies, etc. The omega-3s help with the "crazies".

HTH!