Originally Posted by jamsmama
I would ask that person why they had children in the first place.
That. Is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read on MDC. Seriously. Like, sitting here with a pit in my stomach wishing you were here so I could puke on your shoes disgusting. Clearly you have no concept whatsoever of what it means to be poor. I don't just mean, you don't know what it means not to have money. It means you've clearly never given consideration to how quickly someone can go from upper middle class to destitute in a manner of weeks. You've never thought about what a parent might feel, having to move from a lovely home in a serene neighborhood to an apartment in a neighborhood where drug deals are performed in open air and the gunshots you hear aren't hunters in the fall. Or even if you haven't fallen from middle-class priviledge, do you deny a person the right to have children, to love them and care for them, just because knowing that in the future, "doing right" by them may mean making some unconventional choices?
Historically, it was common to send children away to distant family to learn skills. Worldwide, there are places where it's still common, for instance in places that are war-torn. Do you propose that no one who lives in Bagdhad has the right to have children because they don't know if their city will be peaceful by the time the children are old enough to have to walk to school on their own? Or that they're obligated to keep their children in their neighborhood because they had the audacity to bring them into the world?
What on earth is wrong with sending a child to a loving, devoted grandparent? I think most children are intelligent enough to understand that their parents are making hard choices that are meant very much for their better. I went through such *hell* in school that I *begged* my parents to let me go live with my grandmother and go to school in her community. I loved my grandmother so much. It's not like sending the kids off to foster care, with strangers and no stability.
Now, I've never been in a position to have to make that kind of choice about my children. So, it's hard for me to answer your question. But, my girls love both sets of grandparents passionately, and both are devoted, attentive grandparents. If our situation took such a turn for the worse that it became neccisary, maybe I would. I can't say. Personally, we're homeschooling, and from my perspective, I could do that from a tent in a state park. Unfortunately, I don't see the state agreeing with me on that detail. My parents would also most definately host my entire family until we could get on our feet if need be, as would my ILs. Thus, one way or another I could continue homeschooling. But, if my girls were going to school and my life was in turmoil, with our housing uncertain or in a dangerous location? I would consider it.