Didn't like "Positive Discipline, the first 3 years". What next?

[linguistmama]

I started reading this book and then quit after some really anti-AP statements, like the story of the woman who held her baby too much and now he is spoiled and screams when she puts him down.
I really liked "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn and want to read some more books with similar views. I am also looking for books like Kohn's but that have more examples of how to deal with some general and specific situations.
I'd appreciate any advice. I have seen the book list on this forum's sticky, but where would you suggest that I start and which were the best ones?
Thanks!

[dulce de leche]

Playful Parenting is a good one.

[DevaMajka]

For specific advice about what to do, I like Becoming the Parent You want to Be.
It's not exactly AP, but the discipline section is very gd. It would even be useful to a parent who wanted to do CL (consensual living) I believe.
The only thing I don't like is the blurb about time-outs. It gives lots of good reasons why they don't work, but then goes on to tell parents how to use them if they still are going to. :

[Oana]

There is a message board on Alfie Kohn's website, maybe you look for specific issues:
http://unconditionalparentingboard.com/eve/

Oana

[honeybee]

I hated that book, too. I think I about threw it across the room when I read how moms who bf past year most likely "missed" their dc's cues to wean, and were jeopardizing their developing sense of autonomy. :

I really like "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen..."

eta: grammar correction

[Embee]

Love Alfie. UP is on my list of four favorite parenting books, the other three being:

Hold On To Your Kids (Gordon Neufeld)
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves (Naomi Aldort)
Playful Parenting (Lawrence Cohen)

I have found all of these books inspiring, nurturing and wonderful companions to Unconditional Parenting. In particular, if UP's premise is to focus on the "relationship with your child" then Playful Parenting has wonderful ideas how to do that very thing, especially with young children who live in the world of play. Joining DS where he lives is the very best way I've found to truly connect with him where HE needs me to.

My .02 for what it's worth.

Em

Edited to correct spelling and grammar. Sheesh, I must have been in a hurry! Also, to add that playing with my child ala, Playful Parenting has not only helped me understand him and deal better with difficult issues, it has more importantly healed issues for him and when I'm good about playing regularly, the fewer issues we have in general. So enjoy linguistmama! You won't be dissappointed... um, be sure to get the one by L. COHEN though. There is another PP that is not at all the same book.

[moonfirefaery]

I liked some of the explanations about child development. It was a real eye-opener. It made me go "This is NORMAL. Why change it? Why not just wait for it to subside?" The book seemed very anti-AP though; I totally agree. I would definitely suggest though that you finish it. I think there are shards of wisdom in it. Just take all the anti-AP stuff with a grain of salt. Practice what you like; discard what you don't!

Try Kids Are Worth It. I LOVE IT.

[Roar]

My approach to all books is like they said at La Leche League "take what you can use and leave the rest". I wasn't pleased with the couple statements you mentioned from that book, but for me they were tiny little statements easily ignored and I still got something from the book.

In addition to other suggestions mentioned I would add Kids, Parents and Power Struggles by Mary Kurchinka.

[moonfirefaery]

I think I about threw it across the room when I read how moms who bf past year most likely "missed" their dc's cues to wean, and were jeopardizing their developing sense of autonomy.

Same here. I loved the sections on development though. I HATED the anti-cosleeping, pro-CIO baloney as well. I definitely agree with the 'take what you can use, leave the rest' approach with htis book.

[monkey's mom]

This website might have some interesting things for you--it's unschooling, but there are lots of specific "discipline" stuff. http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/

What about Pam Leo's Connection Parenting? I haven't read it, but hear it's really good.

Jan Hunt's Natural Child website might have some articles of interest.

Even sandradodd.com might be of interest for trusting kids re. chores, food, bedtimes.

Hope that helps!

[momileigh]

The How To Talk one. (Be sure not to mix it up with another book w/ a similar name that is *not* by Faber and Mazlish.)

[goddessjulia]

I second those who mentioned playful parenting by lawrence (larry) cohen and mary sheedy kurcinka-- those two totally saved my tail when my spirited guy started demonstrating his intensity and everyone around me just thought I didn't have control and should punish more/ harder/ longer etc. : I also enjoyed jan hunt's natural child, although it didn't really give me any "what to do" info. I have _raising our children, raising ourselves_ in my cart at amazon so I'll soon find out more about that one! another that was extremely practical was without spanking or spoiling by elizabeth crary. I also got some useful ideas from transforming your difficult child (forget the author ) but I stopped reading when I got to the reward stuff. I liked alfie kohn ok; I agreed totally but thought his writing style was a bit condescending. I did get some use out of it, too, though.

hth!

[linguistmama]

Thanks everyone! I'm starting with Playful Parenting first.