I feel good physically. I'm 39 weeks now, and I keep thinking okay anytime now. My dd was a 35 weeker so I guess I anticipated going early again. So in my mind I'm beyond "due". My family thinks I'm a crazy lunatic for wanting a homebirth and I keep fielding stupid, ignorant comments. Apparently I should've just scheduled an elective repeat c-section for the safety of me and the baby. Yeah, that's a great idea.

: So I've isolated myself from the negative people which leaves my mom, my dh, and my midwives as the positive people left around me. I'm feeling lonely not having people to talk to, but it's for the best.
So my dd was a fairly big 35 weeker at 6lbs13oz and I'm scared to death thinking of how large this baby may be. I had a dream the other night that someone handed him to me while I was standing up and I fell over because he was a chunk.
I've got everything ready to go. This time the only baby items I have are the car seat, diapers, clothes and some slings. I feel naked not having a home full of baby things like I did when I had Sophie. I feel unprepared in a way, but at the same time it's a really cool feeling to not have that stuff around. If you look around my home you can't even tell a baby is on the way. I just need to get a king sized bed now, but I'm waiting until after the homebirth for that as I don't want to possibly wreck a new mattress. Right now it's only a full, which worked before with Sophie because we side-carred a crib. The crib is at my mom's house in storage but I don't feel like side-carring again even though it would save some serious money.
I'm so anxious and excited to meet him. My dd is being so awesome, sweet, cool and wonderful about becomming a big sister and I have a feeling I'm approaching the best, most fulfilling years of my life. I'm so, so happy with where I am right now and to have this baby come into my life in just a few days is just going to make it so much better. My dh is taking 4 weeks of paternity leave and I'm so excited to get the time to bond and come together as a family of 4. I'm just so damn lucky.