I just found these boards, but it is a relief to read them!
Today's situation. All 6 grandkids were supposed to have their picture taken with grandmother. 5 of them did, but my daughter had a total melt down and refused to do it. It was not due to hunger or being tired.
I have one SIL with 3 girls, ages 8, 6, and almost 3. These girls are always well behaved and follow instructions well. Before I had my daughter, and in the first few months, she was my role model. She has a very traditional style of parenting, including time outs and spanking. I was raised that way and assumed I'd do that, too, but it all felt wrong once I had my child.
My other SIL has a boy, 4, and a girl, just now 2. Her style is permissive. The boy has been a brat from the beginning, although he is somewhat better from the structure he is getting in school now. His sister is an easy going quiet girl who does not complain much.
Then there is me, with one girl, age 2.5. Lily is a joy most of the time as long as you make sure she's not too tired or hungry of course. She has her oppositional moments of course. But I find if I'm firm that even if she screams at that moment while I'm holding firm to the rule she's testing, that the next day she happily complies with the rule so I figure things are going fine.
Personality may be playing a role. I know she does not like to sit down. I take her to story time and similar activities. Other kids her age are sitting down seemingly paying attention. She'll be doing laps around the room. Often she is listening but she can't seem to do that sitting still. Overall, she just is not real excited about following some one else's agenda. Like we went to a birthday party at Gymboree, and they keep switching from activity to activity. If Lily found something she liked, she wanted to keep doing it. And if she did not want to do it, she didn't even while other kids were going along. She was not quite 2 at the time.
So if you are still with me after this long post, I thank you. And ask, is there anything I can do to get her to go along with the program when it is necessary? It's so hard when you see all the other kids behaving! I don't think I am raising a brat but I am sure the SILs think I just need to take a firmer hand to her. Short of making her fear me, I don't see how that would help, and I have no desire to have her fear me.
Today's situation. All 6 grandkids were supposed to have their picture taken with grandmother. 5 of them did, but my daughter had a total melt down and refused to do it. It was not due to hunger or being tired.
I have one SIL with 3 girls, ages 8, 6, and almost 3. These girls are always well behaved and follow instructions well. Before I had my daughter, and in the first few months, she was my role model. She has a very traditional style of parenting, including time outs and spanking. I was raised that way and assumed I'd do that, too, but it all felt wrong once I had my child.
My other SIL has a boy, 4, and a girl, just now 2. Her style is permissive. The boy has been a brat from the beginning, although he is somewhat better from the structure he is getting in school now. His sister is an easy going quiet girl who does not complain much.
Then there is me, with one girl, age 2.5. Lily is a joy most of the time as long as you make sure she's not too tired or hungry of course. She has her oppositional moments of course. But I find if I'm firm that even if she screams at that moment while I'm holding firm to the rule she's testing, that the next day she happily complies with the rule so I figure things are going fine.
Personality may be playing a role. I know she does not like to sit down. I take her to story time and similar activities. Other kids her age are sitting down seemingly paying attention. She'll be doing laps around the room. Often she is listening but she can't seem to do that sitting still. Overall, she just is not real excited about following some one else's agenda. Like we went to a birthday party at Gymboree, and they keep switching from activity to activity. If Lily found something she liked, she wanted to keep doing it. And if she did not want to do it, she didn't even while other kids were going along. She was not quite 2 at the time.
So if you are still with me after this long post, I thank you. And ask, is there anything I can do to get her to go along with the program when it is necessary? It's so hard when you see all the other kids behaving! I don't think I am raising a brat but I am sure the SILs think I just need to take a firmer hand to her. Short of making her fear me, I don't see how that would help, and I have no desire to have her fear me.
And if she could have sat on my lap, I think she would have done it. That's another thing -- everyone thinks she's too attached to me, but I think most kids don't get to be attached enough to their moms. Another topic though.
I've yet to meet a cooperative 2.5 year old. Like the previous posted said, there's nothing in it for her, no tangible reason to go with the flow. A good photographer can work to engage the child but with a group of that many young children, fuhgettaboutit!
