Help me understand GD for Diapering Struggles

[pitchfork]

My 8mo old DS screams and struggles and flips over relentlessly while being diapered. It's becoming a battle of the wills, JUST what I want to avoid. I have tried asking for his cooperation, trying to hold him down, being playful about the whole thing, letting him flip and climb for awhile before trying to proceed (which is getting dangerous, he pulls up to standing and often leans over the edge), even nursing one end while changing the other. All work from time to time, but overall the conflict seems to be escalating.

Can you help me understand philosophically and practically how to approach this with such young child? I feel like if I can get my mind around this first discipline challenge, I might get off on the right foot instead of doing some thing I need to undo later or regret. This is a time I need some level of cooperation, so it's a good example I think of needing to communicate that somehow.

As to the why of him doing it, 1) He has a slightly overactive arching reflex which is believed to possibly be an artifact of traumatic hospital experience. The arch leads to the flip as he puts his head way back and even if I pick him up and try and lie him back on his back, he screams and is basically in a bridge position 2) Pulling up is a new skill and he's excited about doing it. Diapering was always a pleasant experience when he was littler, there is no history of forcing him into position or anything.

Please help, it's starting to make me angry and I dread changing him.

[mommy2abigail]

Hmmm... well 8 months is really young still so this may not work quite yet. I tell my young toddler (starting at about a year old) "I know you dont want your diaper changed. Lay still so I can change you quickly." It sometimes works. Other times, she goes nakey butt for a long while. Also, we EC, so that cuts down on the number of diaper changes. And I change the location of the diaper changes. She started to dread the changing table, so now she gets changed on the floor, on the bed, outside, ect. And finally, you said he is pulling up, could you change him while he is pulling up on the couch or something? I know for poopy diapers, its not really ideal, but for a pee diaper, it may work. HTH

[wifty]

I always, always gave DD something to distract her with - a toy or a small book. Then I waited til she was calm, and changed her all the while telling her what I am doing and why.

For us, the distraction worked great until she was 2.5 when I had to use reason. :-)

good luck!

[PajamaMama]

I had this soft mirror thing hanging over the dresser where I changed dd's dipes when she was a baby. I don't remember where it came from but you might be able to make one.

Think of a right triangle made out of 3 pieces of fabric. The vertical side (about 6 or 8" square) attached to the wall. The horizontal side (also 6 or 8" square) hung over the changing area. The hypotenuse was a ribbon or something to keep the bottom part perpendicular to the wall. It had a piece of velcro on it so that I could 'close' it, and fold it shut; in this position *I* could see in the mirror.

If you made this yourself you could also hang some toys from the mirror part from a ribbon, maybe attach the ribbon to the mirror side with velcro so if Baby pulls on the toy the whole thing doesn't come off the wall.

[karlin]

You could try a really special toy or item that is normally off limits to give your child during the diaper change. This always worked well for us. Some examples were small glass figurines, sunglasses, hair clip, CD, etc.

[ZeldasMom]

I always make the change sign and say diaper change before so the baby knows what is happening.

Try to find a way to make it fun. My DD likes when I let my hair hang in her face or when I kiss her feet or tummy. Try to be as entertaining as possible. I actually got a Wiggles video and watched it to get ideas about how to be wild and crazy and zany. Singing is good.

Make the change as short as possible. I use cloth diapers, which can take a little longer than a disposable. If this is your situation think about how you could make it go faster (e.g. use velcro rather than snaps). I have gone also gone so far as to spray poop off in the shower than make my baby lay down to have it wiped off.

Try to notice if there are times that are particularly bad (like right after a nap, and don't change the baby then).

This will get better. I think once they understand what is happening and that it will be done soon it goes better.

[Dar]

Learn to change standing up. It's not really hard, once you get used to it, and it's the only way I could change my daughter after she started pulling up.

For poopy diapers, I'd strip her down and stand her in the tub, with the water running a bit. She'd get cleaned and play a bit... it wasn't fast but it was happy.

dar

[aja-belly]

we put diapers on backwards when ds was this age. they have an instinct to not want to be placed on their backs, so we laid him on his tummy. standing changing is also a good idea

maybe check out the ec board under diapering.....