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Would you be a SAHM if you could?

post #1 of 143
Thread Starter 
I know many of us have to work for various reasons. If you could be a SAHM, would you want to?

I can't decide. When I had DD#1, I was NOT happy as a SAHM. I was anxious, bored, and miserable- so I made DD and DH unhappy, too. But since I had DD#2, it's been a totally different experience. Sometimes I think I might be able to be happy as a SAHM.

What about you?
post #2 of 143
I owuld in a heartbeat, however I definetly think I would have to set some sort of guidelines or rules to help me transition. For example I think having DD in daycare 4 days a week to none would be too drastic. I would probably still have her go two half days a week just so she could socialize and be with other kids. Also my sister had a rule that no matter what the temp she was comitted to leaving the house before noon everyday for some amount of time. She just couldn't handle the morning hours dragging on. I think its a great idea. Also instead of ebing bored I would try to tackle some projects and volunteer more to keep my mind on something else or to have my own project outside of the home. But yes I would love to stay home. For us right now it is not an option, no matter how we reprioritize.

But our goal is that by the time we have #2 DH has his journeymans license (more pay), we have a few things paid off, and I am a little more advanced at work that I could WAH and go into the office 1 day a week or become independent.
post #3 of 143
Without a doubt!! If we could financially afford it, which we can't at this time

I hate knowing that dd is with someone else during the day and I find myself not putting forth as much effort toward my job since all I want to do is be home with dd.
post #4 of 143
yeah... for sure.
post #5 of 143
No, I do not want to be a SAHM at this time for various reasons. I am OKAY with the way things are now: DS is home with DH (WAHD) during the day and this is is working for us.

My goal is to becoming financially independant in the next 2 years. I have a plan that I am aggressively working on that would make this happen. THEN, I can come out of the workforce to be a SAHM at this time and DH can be a WAHD.

As DS becomes older it's going to be increasingly imperative that DH or I are at home.
post #6 of 143
I unfortunately find myself thrust into this since I got laid off 2 months ago and have yet to find a new job.

I'm enjoying a lot of the time with the kids, but I can say definitely that I do NOT want to do it permanently. No way. I just don't have the energy, the patience, or the creativity to keep coming up with things to keep DS entertained and active. And figuring out how to juggle the needs/wants of a 3-year-old and a baby has frustrated me to tears more times than I can count.

For DS in particular, having been in daycare basically all his life (since 6 months), I think he is suffering from the sudden drastic reduction in how much time he spends with other kids. He is just at the age where he was starting to really appreciate playing with his peers, and I think he really needs to have them around. That's why I'm looking into low-cost daycares in hopes of getting him in somewhere, even if only a couple days a week. I think he needs it, and I think *I* need the time apart from him, in order to be sane.

YMMV of course!
post #7 of 143
It would depend on my line of work and the ages of my children. Ideally, I would like to be at home only until my children begin school, then, if I had a rewarding and satisfying career, I would want to return during the hours which they are in school. I could never stay at home alone in an empty home until 3:30. My mind needs stimulation beyond clening my house everyday while the kids are at school. that said, if i didn't like my job, I would like to return to school to get a degree in an area that interests me for future employment. All that said with the assumtion That hubby's salary would more than cover our expenses without any financial contribution by me.

In reality, I was at home for 2 yrs with my first, then began working part time evenings when hubby was at home to care for her. I had one year mat leave with our second, and I returned to part time evenings again. i recently left my job as My oldest had begun school, and my youngest preschool. No more working nights for me...I'd never se them! so I am currently seeking part time employment during the hours my girls are in school. We cannot make it on hubby' salary alone and maintain our lifestyle. We are not willing to leave our home in a good neighborhood, or do without a car. Plus, I would LIKE to work while my girls are in school, provided it is interesting and fulfilling work. It is not important to me to be at home alone during the days. We don't homeschool, so i'm sure I'd wind up being bored silly Also I like the financial security that me being employed provides , and I am fortunate that I only have to work part time, so for me, it's a nice balance. I enjoy the social aspect of working too. I don't think I'd like to work full time though, but I would do it if it was necessary for our financial security.
post #8 of 143
Nope. I love working. Then again, if I had to get up and take DD to daycare instead of just leaving her with MIL, I might rethink that.

But ah, I love coming to work and using my left brain and interacting with adults all day. I love peeing whenever I want and eating with two hands and the quiet.
post #9 of 143
I am another no. I tried it and hated it. Even if I could, I'd probably be a WAHM but even then I'd need an office (writer) / studio (fiber artist) away from the main house. I am just not wired that way. Now my dh loved his stint as a SAHD and we are working on making that happen, so he can stay at home full time or go to school next year. He is thinking of broadcast school which is on 9 - 1 a few days a week.
post #10 of 143
Yes, I would ... but then I wouldn't have the peace and quiet to be able to read and post on MDC!

post #11 of 143
Nope. I was for a while and I didn't like who I was becoming, a super judgemental beyotch of a Mama. I have a super intense personality and when my only job was kiddos, I was way too intense. (striving to be queen of the AP parents)

I have been teaching part time for the past several months and I really love the balance. Thinking of going ft and that might be hard. Overall though I enjoy working, its part of who I am.

post #12 of 143
My knee-jerk reaction to this question is yes, of course I want to SAHM! But when I thought more about it, I realized that that's not entirely true. In my ideal world (and if someone knows directions how to get there, send them my way ) I would like to work at home or in a job with flexibility that I get to define. I am slooowly working towards that goal, though in may never be a complete reality.
post #13 of 143
I would like a balance...three days working...four days off. That would be perfect for me. Or work 4 hours a day. I like working and I find that I am a better parent when I'm not full time parenting, but I also crave more time with my son. He needs more of my time too. What I'm working toward right now DH getting full time work and me finding a job that will allow me to take our son to school and pick him up from school every day when he's of the age to go. Right now he's at home with his WAHD, who gets a little help from our wonderful, super awesome, can't live without her baby sitter.
post #14 of 143
No. I tried it and just did not like it. I prefer to be working. I love what I do!
post #15 of 143
answer from an 'older' mom,
My oldest is gonna be 25, has 3 children,
next one will be 23 soon, has one child
third one just got married this spring
4th one will be 18 soon
5th one is 15 (16 this spring)
6th one

I would not trade staying at home all those years for anything. I actually miss it so sometimes it hurts. Even though my two youngest are getting older, sometimes I cry wanting to be here to just be mom to them, and wife to my husband
But I also have one of the best 'jobs' to go to when I leave them...
welcoming new life as a mother delivers a new little one for me to 'catch'
post #16 of 143
No, I used to be a SAHM and didn't like it at all. I love working! Working makes me a better mommy.
post #17 of 143
No.. i enjoy working.. and it keeps me sane...
post #18 of 143
Hmm... it would actually save me money if I were a SAHM -- daycare is quite a lot more than my salary -- so I guess the answer is no. But then, I'm not in grad school for the money.

Ideally, if I could, I would SAH until my child(ren? someday?) is in school, but after that, I know I'd want a career outside the home. Unfortunately, it's now or never for me, so, since I want to work later, I have to work now.
post #19 of 143
What a timely question as my maternity leave ended at 8:30 this morning!!

Sure, I have those mornings when I just want to quit it all and cuddle the kids. Don't we all? But I love my field and love my patients and this is what I have wanted to do since I was 15 years old and I am so fortunate to do it! I have a great position in that I can work 2-3 days a week and achieve some balance between work and home. Without that balance I would go nuts being at home all the time! My personal litmus test is that even if we won the lottery, I would still practice dentistry - just for free and in a tropical locale on limited hours.

So no, I wouldn't be a SAHM.
post #20 of 143
nope, I love my situation now and wouldn't change it for anything.
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