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Would you be a SAHM if you could? - Page 2

post #21 of 143
No, but I wouldn't work full time. And I don't think I would be great at home full time if DH were working full time. My ideal would be both DH and I working part time (DH is a SAHD now), so that our kids could see both of us working for pay and both of us taking care of them an equal basis. I'm working too much right now (50+ hours/week) and the kids are really craving more mommy attention (and I'm craving more kid attention ).
post #22 of 143
post #23 of 143
I would have to do something outside the home. I go insane at home. I love my boys, we have fun together, but we drve each other insane.

I envy those who can stay home; not just because they are financially able, but they don't go INSANE!
post #24 of 143

I would work less

I currently work 40 hrs. a week outside of home. I like what I do as a government lawyer but I have my ideal schedule in mind.

Work 9-3 three days a week - 3:00 is when I start missing ds.

Have one day off just to be with ds.

Have another day off just to be by myself - a real day off!
post #25 of 143
Originally Posted by MomInFlux View Post
My ideal would be both DH and I working part time ...... so that our kids could see both of us working for pay and both of us taking care of them an equal basis.
I'd like this, too. I'm working and going to school right now and it's too much, honestly. I feel very stretched. Tomorrow's the last day of my vacation. I've been off of work for the past week - just focussing on the homelife and school and it has been HEAVEN. I've been a sahm briefly in the past and I didn't like it then, but things have changed and I really think I could enjoy it very much now. I would always want to have something to do for me, though - like my own business or school. I'm seriously planning on transitioning to sahm in the next year or so. I start my master's program in less than 2 years and I realy don't want to be working FT when I take that on.
DP has a very flexible schedule, so I'd see more of him if I were home during the day. That's been a really nice thing this past week. He stops by the house a couple times a day to say "hi" and get some hugs from the kids and me.

I love my job, but it's just not as important to me lately. I've put a lot of time and energy into the company I work for, but I could walk away now and be OK with that (with my 100k shares of stock options firmly in hand, of course )
post #26 of 143
Nope, I love what I do for a living. I do wish I could stay a longer maternity leave, though. Six months, instead of 3. The issue isn't money; it's staying competitive in my field.

I'm also lucky that my job permits me to work from home a great deal.
post #27 of 143
When my maternity leave was up I was so ready to go back to work. It helps that I WOH 3 days a week and WAH 2 days, seems to be a good balance.

But OTOH, this summer I had to take a week off just to be with DS because DC was closed, and it was so great, I was really sad to go back to work.

And then yesterday my DCP called in the afternoon for me to get DS, saying he was sick, and he wasn't really, and it seemd apparent to me, for all my faults (and I have many) that DS really needs me, so I am wondering this.

DH is up for a new position at work, I was thinking if he got a decent raise (he says he wouldn't get any, which seems odd, because the position seems much more important than his current one) and if my current employer would let me solely WOH say 10 hours a week, with the money we'd save not paying dc we could do it with no financial penalty.

would I want to? I don't know!!!
post #28 of 143
Nope I would still "work" but I wouldn't do what I do now if I didn't need the $$ and benefits. What I would like to do is

1) get involved with my local library. It SUCKS and we have some of the ehighest taxes in the state. I would like to get on the board or be active in fundraising to build a new wing, get them on line, etc.

2) Take a few classes: specifically advanced cooking skills like pastry making as well as some English Lit.

3) Volunteer more at the place I currently support as well as get more active in fundraising her too.

Oh and so many other things. Oh what I could do if I was independently wealthy!
post #29 of 143
No, I wouldn't. I have a really great situation at this point: I work from home and take care of my daughter simultaneously about 12 hours/week, and the rest of the time she is across the street with my neighbor, who is a SAHM of a three year-old. My DD LOVES going over there--she's happy to see the caregiver and her son, and she's getting a ton of great interaction there. It gives her the variety in her daily schedule that she really needs. And for me, I get variety and adult interaction too, along with the satisfaction of knowing my daughter is happy. I think I would bug out if I was at home full time.
post #30 of 143
nope. I don't always love my job, but I don't think staying at home is the answer. I would like to work less than 40 hours, though.
post #31 of 143
Yes, although not permanently, 5-10 years maybe. But realistically it would only be if I was married to a different person with different earning potential and different needs.
post #32 of 143
Yes, I would, until my daughter is old enough for school. Then I would have to get a part-time job, because I get bored easily and would hate just sitting around waiting on the kids to get home.
post #33 of 143
Our goal is that by the time we have our next little one I will be able to stay home until they are school aged. But that is more of a cost thing for us because daycare full time for DS is over $1200/mo and $400 for before and after school care for DD. We cannot/would not shell out an additional $1200 on top of that for another child's care.

With that said, I would LOVE to stay at home and miss it because I was home for a while with DS. I went back to work when he was 10 months and it was a nice change of pace but hard. My goal is to finish my teaching degree once I am home during the day again so that when they (DS and next baby) are in school I can be teaching and on a schedule that is more like theirs while still working and helping with the finances. That is my "best of both worlds" scenario.
post #34 of 143
Up until a year ago there was no way I wanted to be a SAHM. Most of the time I love what I do. However, I really want to homeschool my children. DH and I are trying to figure out how to swing it. I am hopeful that I can transition to homeschooling next year.
post #35 of 143
I'd like less pressure at work, but there is no way I would SAHM fulltime.
post #36 of 143
I'd love to SAH! Not indefinitely, but until all kids were school-aged, at which point I'd like to work about 15-20 hours a week, and only during school hours/school year. (Yeah, dream on, I know.)

I currently have Fridays off with my DD (I work 4 days/week) and that is when I get to play at being a SAHM. I absolutely love it - we leave the house when we please, get to set our own schedule, hit the playground, zoo or library as we wish, bake together if it's yucky out, go for a bikeride, do a craft project . . . no horrible morning rush, time to do laundry and get a few household chores done to catch up from the hectic week.

I contrast this to my work week which is literally go-go-go and there is just no contest: I would pick being at home any day. It probably helps that DD is a pretty "easy" kid. But during the work week I feel perpetually rushed and behind on household chores (not to mention missing my DD). Thursday evening I can feel myself literally decompressing - I think it is the first time in 5 days that I truly relax.
post #37 of 143
No I wouldn't. Right now I work 2.5 days/week and have daycare 3 full days/week, so one half day off, all my own. It's PERFECT. And though I do really like my work, I must say that if I were independently wealthy, I might choose to spend those work days differently -- volunteering and doing some community theater or arts or something.
post #38 of 143
What a pertinent question for me today. I came home from "visiting" with my baby at his first day of daycare today, and all I can think about is how differently I feel this time around. When boy1 was this age (4 mos), I was really ready to get back to work. The first week of daycare was rough on me, but I knew it was for the best and that it was a good situation (very loving provider, small group of kids, in my office building).

With my second, it's the same provider, but the number of kids seems to have increased, the provider's patience level seems to have dropped, and the number of crying babies I saw today was not inspiring. And boy1 really taught me how to be a mom, I think, b/c I could totally imagine not going back to work with boy2 until he was 3 or so.

I tell myself that I'm only going back part-time, that I need to stay competitive in my field, that our lifestyle would change radically. At the same time, I'm not too happy about returning to work in two weeks.

If we were to win the lottery, we'd both quit work, buy my grandparents' place on the river and turn it into a b&b as a hobby.
post #39 of 143
It's great to hear so many people love working, too!

I wouldn't be a SAHM, but I would work less. Maybe 30 hours a week instead of 40+. I love my kids, but I also go a bit insane and am just not a good mom when I'm home full time. Plus, I LOVE my job and I feel more complete. I just wish the weekends were a liiiittle longer.
post #40 of 143
When dd was a baby, I was dying to sah but we could not afford it. We still can't afford it, but now that she is in school every day, I don't think i would even if we could. Doing chores all day - bleah! And I don't think she would be happy being home schooled- she loves going to school
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