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Would you be a SAHM if you could? - Page 3

post #41 of 143
Nope. Tried it for a year and it wasn't a fit for me at all. DD loves her preschool, I love my work, we love our time together.
post #42 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by snuggly mama View Post
My knee-jerk reaction to this question is yes, of course I want to SAHM! But when I thought more about it, I realized that that's not entirely true. In my ideal world (and if someone knows directions how to get there, send them my way ) I would like to work at home or in a job with flexibility that I get to define. I am slooowly working towards that goal, though in may never be a complete reality.
Exactly.
post #43 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by griffin2004 View Post
Nope. Tried it for a year and it wasn't a fit for me at all. DD loves her preschool, I love my work, we love our time together.
That sounds ideal! And well balanced!

I think a lot of the WAHM and SAHM threads are really about balance.
post #44 of 143
If I had my 'druthers, I'd be a WAHM. I have to do something w/ myself or I go crazy (and housework ain't it). I'd love to be a full-time writer/telecommuter.
post #45 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfcat View Post
If I had my 'druthers, I'd be a WAHM. I have to do something w/ myself or I go crazy (and housework ain't it). I'd love to be a full-time writer/telecommuter.


Me too. Unfortunately, WAH jobs are so hard to find.
post #46 of 143
I would have to say no. I was a stay at home mom for years and that was because I had a terrible Lupus flare. But once I got better, I finished my degree, my Personal Life and Business Certifications and now work from home full-time. Its a balance, but I love it. I can totally respect that its not for everyone.

Many Blessings, Coach K!
post #47 of 143
Not in a million years. I'd be in the asylum within a month.

I wouldn't mind working part-time. 3 days a week would be perfect. But professional part time positions in my line of work just don't happen.
post #48 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
Not in a million years. I'd be in the asylum within a month.

I wouldn't mind working part-time. 3 days a week would be perfect. But professional part time positions in my line of work just don't happen.
I know exactly what you mean. I would jump at the chance to work a professional part time job or a professional job at home.

I wish there were more flexibility in the work force for positions like these.
post #49 of 143

I don't know anymore!

At first I never thought staying at home was an option for me... I fell into it for a while after moving for dh's job right after #2 was born, but was miserable. Here's why:
* in that circumstance it happened as a consequence of moving so it didn't feel like I had chosen to be at home.
* the financial stress sucked: we live pretty simply, but the process of depleting our savings and the prospect of debt made us cranky, car repairs or plane tickets stressed our budget, and every single SAHM I met seemed to have bigger, newer homes and more disposable income. Have less money magnified my materialistic tendencies in some weird way.
* i worked hard to give ds consistent interaction with kids thinking that he could develop relationships the same way he had in our childcare co-op, but was not able to connect with the right folks or give him the right routine to come anywhere close
Now I am back at work part-time (WOH 2-3 days per week, and supplement with WAH in between). However I moved from the nonprofit field to the for profit field in order to make enough to pay for childcare and help support our family. I still love the balance/ juggling act of working part-time and playing with the kids part-time but the new work has less meaning for me, and now that we pay way more in daycare costs (second kid and no co-op) my take home pay is even less. Also the WAH time invades our family time - I have what I thought would be a dream job, but (money aside) feel like I could easily walk away from it. Right now, I would rather stay at home with the kids if we could afford it. Unfortunately our definition of afford involves financial stability, and there's no way I want to return to a more tenuos finacial situation.
post #50 of 143
In an ideal world, heck yes! No question.

In the real world... where there are bills to pay, I think I'd like to be a WAHM, with a really good baby sitter available, or, part time DC.

That said, I am just taking the very first steps of self employment. I just posted myself as a lawyer for hire on craigslist yesterday... and have a meeting with my first client this saturday. It's a small step, but hopefully it will be the first of many that eventually allow me to work for myself out of my home, and spend more time with DD and DSS.
post #51 of 143
I would never be an unemployed SAHM, for a lot of reasons. But if it were financially feasible, I'd like to go freelance (I'm a writer) or work on a novel for a while. I'd like to cut down the hours my daughter's in aftercare, and I wouldn't mind saying goodbye to the corporate world for a while! There are some things I really love about my job, though.

Quote:
No, but I wouldn't work full time. And I don't think I would be great at home full time if DH were working full time. My ideal would be both DH and I working part time (DH is a SAHD now), so that our kids could see both of us working for pay and both of us taking care of them an equal basis.
This is my ideal, too.
post #52 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
I wouldn't mind working part-time. 3 days a week would be perfect. But professional part time positions in my line of work just don't happen.
:

What I would've done is stayed home longer when ds was a nb. I had to go back to work 6 wks pp and I think 5 or 6 months is a bit more appropriate. Someone here on mothering said something once about babies exogestating for 9 months, so maybe that would be appropriate?
I certainly wouldn't want to work 5 days a week the way I do now if I could avoid it. Oh well.
post #53 of 143
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post #54 of 143
Nope.

I am really enjoying nursing school, getting my bachelor's, and doing something I feel very passionate about. If I had my druthers I would have waited longer to go back to school (dd was one year), and then felt more able to concentrate on my studies.

Besides my love of nursing, I'm also going to have an amazing retirement plan, medical benefits, etc. So yes, for all the reasons I will be glad to be a WOHM... As well, I'd like to be able to only work part time, maybe two shifts a week if I work twelve hour nights it'd be perfect for us as we're planning our next babe within the next two and a half years.

In that scenario, I'll take my year mat leave again (I'm in Canada) and then work days possibly (two or three shifts a week) leaving babe with my mum.
post #55 of 143
ever since i had to go back to work ft when dd was 2 after my separation i have been hunting around for jobs taht would let me be a WAHM. i would be a sahm in a heartbeat but cant afford it.

now i might have a chace to live my dream if i get this evening job so i will be working when she is with her dad. i am so keeping my fingers crossed that i can get that job.
post #56 of 143
I love my job, but some days I hate being away from home (those days are getting rarer now that I've been back at work almost 2 months). Some days I wish I could just take a year off to stay home, but risking losing my position would be stupid. Sure, I could probably get a job teaching somewhere else later, but I am already in the best school in the area (IMO). At least I have school vacations working in my favor. And it is wonderful that dh is a wahd. So I guess this doesn't answer the question. I think working is right for me. Teaching is something I am good at and I enjoy. I never really stop mothering when I leave home; I just do it with other people's kids.
post #57 of 143
Funny you should ask this now. I had an epiphany just a couple of days ago and realized that I would not, at this time, choose to stay home with DS full time and give up my work.

Before we had DS, I thought I would want to be a SAHM. I hadn't found quite the right direction for my career, and wasn't happy in my job at that time. The idea of being a SAHM was as much an escape from my inability to find the right career path as it was a true desire to stay home and be a mama.

Fortunately (really!), our financial circumstances and goals weren't consistent with either DH or I staying home with DS full-time, so I had to do some soul searching and figure out what I really wanted to do for work. After a little more than a year in my current job, I've realized that hey, I like it! I often find the juggling act overwhelming - DH started traveling a lot for his work a few months ago, and when he is away, I feel like I am both a crappy employee and a crappy mother, just trying to keep my head above water - but I've come to realize that when I think about my "ideal" life, it always involves some form of work other than mothering.

I might stay in my current line of work even if I won the lottery, at least for some length of time. Ten years down the road, I'd like to move on from this to owning a bookstore or bistro, but I don't see myself committing to being a SAHM.

There's a constant process of reevaluation that goes on in my head in light of where DS is developmentally, whether he is happy in daycare, how much DH is working, etc., but I'm pretty comfortable saying that I will always choose to work, even if where and for how much time is subject to change.
post #58 of 143
No. I need to work for many reasons. I am the main bread winner, but I also do not have the best temperment to be a SAHM. I am a planner, organizer, impatient...my kids would be way to scheduled and busy and I do NOT want them to live that kind of life.

If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would have to at least sit on a board of executives or work part time. It is a part of who I am.
post #59 of 143
The sad truth-my kids, myself, and my family are all better off with me working.

These little icons depict me as a SAHM: : :
This one depicts my family: :

I miss my girls and I love being home. BUT, I only love being home by myself. I get bored and mean when I'm home with the girls-like the 4 months I was home for maternity leave. I lose it-my mind, my stability, my emotional balance, my happiness.

When I work, things just work out better. The girls spend time with my parents during the day, I pick them up at 5, we go home and have wonderful evenings and weekends together.

I can't WAH either. At least when I've tried, it doesn't work. I just want to do stuff like shop, craft, write, walk, etc. It feels impossible to make myself work when I'm at home.

Plus, I can't deal with my husband expecting me to clean. Here's the icon for that one: : . I know, even if I was a SAHM and it was my job to care for the kids and the family, the cleaning thing still wouldn't work. I think it's because I had to do so many chores as a kid in a house with 5 siblings and a nephew. It sucked and I deeply loathe housecleaning. Luckily, we have a great balance for sharing the cleaning load.

If I could be happy and be a SAHM, sure, I'd do it. I wouldn't be able to be at home and be unhappy. It's impossible for me to hide my feelings. Even when I think I am, people can see straight through me. Which is why I don't play poker.
post #60 of 143
Gosh I don't know. I was at home w/ DS1 for over a year, and with both kids for 4 months, and it was SOOOO physically demanding, much more than I ever imagined. I don't think I have it in me to deal with the physical demands. All the stuff you're supposed to do in a day with no breaks, crying kids, constant demands, 24/7, every day of the week - it's EXHAUSTING. My WOH job is mentally exhausting but at least I'm physically capable of doing it.
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