At my wits end!!!

[jenoline]

Help! I just don't know how much longer I can manage this. I've never been a stellar housekeeper, even before I had kids. But at least there was only DH and I to mess it up. Life has gotten busier lately - I'm out of the house 3 to 4 days a week, plus 2 evenings a week. I try to fit in all the housekeeping into the couple days that I am home, but it's just not working. Plus, being out more makes the house messier - we're home just long enough to create a mess, but not to pick it up. Then when I get back, I'm exhausted and just want to hibernate somewhere. I certainly don't want to clean. I just don't know what to do. I can't keep up with the mess, and I'm so frustrated!!!! I hate living like this. And I don't think I can cut back on our activities, either. Some of the time I'm gone is b/c I'm working, some is a homeschool co-op I'm participating in (and it's really important to us to be a part of it), and the other evening is a family dinner group that I've been a part of for over 3 years. Another very important part of our lives.

I'm a Flylady drop-out, and a Motivated Moms dropout. But I've got to get this mess under control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lucky Charm]

Hi Mama,
I would suggest doing a quick blitz, then form some sort of plan. I was a flylady dropout twice, and now am doing it again, and its going so good.

I even have my husband on board.

I would also suggest a cleaning service if you can afford it. But you would at the very least have to pick up the clutter, put away clothes, stuff like that.

I wont tell you the house will magically pick itself up, because it won't. Take the bull by the horns and dig in.

[LionTigerBear]

My best advice is to get rid of as much stuff as possible. That's what I've been doing! The less stuff you have, the less there is to pick up, keep clean, put away. Have you visited the Decluttering, Organizing, and Simplifying forum on MDC? I LOVE it there! They've inspired me to get rid of 8 large bags/bins of stuff just in the last two weeks alone! It feels really good.

Good luck and

[Twocoolboys]

I'm a flylady drop out too. But, I came up with my own, personally tailored version of flylady (though I haven't written anything down. I'm not that strict with myself). I really like her baby steps philosophy. I will set a timer for 5 minutes or 10 minutes and just tidy up one spot. It is amazing how much you can get done in just a few minutes. I've also been gradually cleaning things out - my own version of her 27-fling boogie. I will go through a room and find 10 things to just toss. I find that doing these little things really makes a difference. Plus, I have one day a week where I tidy most of the house. It doesn't have to be great, just better. And, I will focus on one room at a time. I really like to have my bedroom be tidy and clean, so if I can keep on top of that, then I have my own little oasis in the house - lol.

My secret cleaning strategy is to invite someone over - lol. This forces me to clean before they get here. I try to do this once a week or so.

[AngelBee]

[oldgirl,newtricks]

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. How you choose to use it really is up to you.

All of the systems (Flylady, Motivated Moms, etc.) ALL are based on doing a little bit every single day. How you adapt that to your own life will depend on the circumstances. I can tell you that I rarely leave the house in the morning without beds made, a load of laundry started, bathroom wiped down, dishwasher emptied and the main floor swept. This takes me 20 minutes total. I get up and I do these things.

In the evening, I throw the clothing in the dryer. My kids (all four of them) pick up anything left out, while I do my 15 min. of zone cleaning. I never do more than 15 min. Monday-Friday. I initially used Flylady's list, but I've adapted it for my house, so it looks nothing like her's now.

Right before bed while the kids are brushing teeth, I fold that load of laundry and put it away. I make sure the dishwasher is loaded and set, counter wiped off and any paper clutter dealt with. Check the calendar and make sure everyone has what they need, ready to go, for the next day. Just a few minutes total and then I can chill.

I deserve a nice home. My family deserves a nice home. I'm not a maid, so they all do their fair share. As my 6 yo says, "When you're done with it, deal with it!" I have found my family follows my lead. If I start putting things off, so do they. We've done this for five years now, and the pay-off is huge. Huge. I hosted my quilt group last week and all I had to do was get snacks ready.

By tying in most things to when I get up and when I go to bed, it hasn't mattered what my work schedule is or how many activities we have. We all get up and we all go to bed. I may have to set the alarm for a few minutes earlier, but it isn't hard to slow down and take a few minutes before getting everyone in bed to pick up the stuff.

At this point, it sounds like you are trying to fit an abundance of activities into too little time. Something will have to give. Right now, it's your environment. Only you know what is important for you, but I've often found that giving up an activity I thought was important was the best way to handle my situation.
Gloria

[Progressive_Mom]

I understand

Things are crazy around here and I can barely keep up with washing my cloth diapers! I think all mommas have a problem with balancing kiddo time/ mommy time/ husband time/ and cleaning house. I agree with the previous poster when she said to get rid of everything you can. We did away with all of our cleaning supplies and now only use baking soda and vinegar ... its nice not to have so many choices

[bendmom]

I think there is no shame in getting outside help every other week or month with house cleaning. I understand that back when all women where sahm they wouldn't get help because they were home and that is what they did. Now we live in a two income society, even though it sucks, that's the way it is. Even the mom's who sah now have a million different sports, errends, yadda, yadda, the list goes on. If you get help you still have to keep things picked up like laundry, toys, shoes, etc, but that can be done throughout the week, or the night before. While I agree with the pp about making the choice to just do it and get a certain amount done in the morning etc, it may not that easy if you have the kids out the door by eight, work by eight thirty, husband works late, and you have to have dinner ready. Gosh I'm rambling, sorry!

[Penelope]

ITA with the suggestion that you get rid of as much as you can.

[jenoline]

Thanks, Mamas. It's just so frustrating. My DDs are 5 and 2, so I don't get much help from them. And, I don't do such a great job of picking up after myself, so they don't either. I did talk to DH tonight about needing his help more. I know it's really a time-budgeting thing, too, but it's a difficult thing to learn (for me, anyway).

[FillingMyQuiver]

Mama, I know it's difficult. I'm at the point where I have my non-negotiables and everything else, well, it'll get better when the kids get bigger The dishwasher gets emptied, loaded, and run daily. I won't go to bed until all food is put away and the kitchen counters and stove top and table are wiped down. These are non-negotiables b/c they bring bugs. I do a load of laundry daily, usually it gets put away that day, but sometimes it's the next day. I vacuum a couple times a week and sweep the floors b/c again, I don't want bugs. Bathrooms get wiped down at least 1x/week (usually more) so that they don't get gross.

As far as the clutter, I agree, get rid of as much as you can. We've been working on this quite a bit. My biggest problem is our paperwork. It's getting out of hand, but it's DH's responsibility, so I just ignore it.

Every few days I go through and pick up the kids toys and organize them. But my kids are in the dumping stage so whatever I pick up gets dumped later in the day.

It's all about balance. For me, my DS alone is difficult for me to handle and DD is going through this really clingy stage. I get dinner ready every night and the kids are cleaned, dressed, and fed every day. The way I see it, the envrionment is what's giving right now, and I'm okay with that. The kids are only small for a short time, I'd rather spend my time w/ them then stress about housekeeping.

[marieangela]

:
I don't have much advice, but I can relate. We don't spend much time at home either and often end up making messes and running out of the house. Ds2 wakes up a lot at night and I would rather sleep than do anything with my *very little* free time these days. I have really been bothered by the state of my house lately, though. I feel like I am always getting all of the mail and clutter off of the kitchen cabinet and it just reappears worse than ever.