Constipation/pooping woes w/potty learning aged children - Page 3

[mata]

P-Chan- I'm glad you got an emotional release, and what a great realization. I think I've been in denial about how much of a toll this can take-it really is so stressful dealing with the behaviors and something constantly not being "right." Thank you for mentioning the high stepping-dd does that too-now I fully understand what's going on. It's a bit freeing to move from that place of "it really can't be that serious, can it?" to realizing something does need to be done.

[annekevdbroek]

This is a great thread - so helpful to know that other parents are out there dealing with the same issues.

As PP noted - my son also learned to expell the suppository and nothing else. Our GI doc actually recommended against the glycerin suppositories becuase he felt that they are very uncomfortable physically and don't accomplish much.

DS has been taking Mirlax a long time and has finally stopped withholding (its been months and months since the last time). He will only poo in a diaper, but I guess that isn't too abnormal at 3 years of age.

[mata]

Originally Posted by annekevdbroek

As PP noted - my son also learned to expell the suppository and nothing else. Our GI doc actually recommended against the glycerin suppositories becuase he felt that they are very uncomfortable physically and don't accomplish much.

I was going to ask about suppositories. I had gotten some on the advice of the extended care doctor when I took dd in to check for strep, but I didn't end up using them. I was debating yesterday whether I should use them if she didn't go soon, but I definitely won't use them now.

[simcon]

We dealt with this too, from when dd was about 12-20 months or so (not severe the whole time, but definite regular episodes....) We tried lots of things, and ended up with Miralax too, not all the time, but I would use it for a week or so when she was withholding. She also wasn't a big fan of juice, so I just mixed it with water, and she'd drink it during the day (never all at once)--it made dosing tricky, since I was never sure how much I could actually count on her drinking. This was all before potty learning, and I was home with her at the time--I so feel for you all who have dc using (or not using) the potty, and being at school--it's so hard to have life revolve around a child's pooping habits!

But I just wanted to write that there is hope--my daughter has been a regular pooper for the past year or so (in the potty and everything), though sometimes they're painful, she just wants to hold my hand then..

[annekevdbroek]

Originally Posted by mata

I was going to ask about suppositories. I had gotten some on the advice of the extended care doctor when I took dd in to check for strep, but I didn't end up using them. I was debating yesterday whether I should use them if she didn't go soon, but I definitely won't use them now.

Well, they worked when he was little (like 12 months). Frankly, if I have to stick something in his bottom (which he HATES and so is only done under the most extreme circumstances - like no poop for a week) then my preference is for an enema because 1) it works very fast 2) it makes the poo really soft 3) it is about as natural as you can get (water + magnesium salts). I would say his hatred of both is about equal and that the enema is actually a little easier to use. If you haven't used an enema for your child before I strongly suggest that everyone stay in the bathroom until pooping is finished!

[aprildawn]

P-chan - I totally understand what you mean about being too emotionally invested in the pooping. Last week when she finally pooped after five days of not pooping I literally was able to begin and complete several other tasks that I'd put on hold, including cooking dinner. There was no good reason for me to not be cooking. But I couldn't focus enough to even think of what to make. Her not pooping wasn't stopping me from cooking, but somehow it was. I realized I was fragmented emotionally and had too much invested in DD1 that it was keeping me from devoting myself to other matters.

Two weeks ago I really chastised her for leaking into her pants in the fabric store. Whenever she does that she just takes her pants and panties down to check. She came up to me with poop all over her hand and wrist and her pants around her waist. This is a 4.5 year old in public with a poop covered hand and and naked booty!! I was mortified. I shamed her all the way out of the store and all the way home. I felt horrible about it and apologized to her later.

We've had about three days of her going every day. It's nice. I'm still hoping this was just a phase and we won't have to resort to medicine or other extreme measures. It came on so suddenly. I just hope it goes away suddenly too.

[goddessjulia]

aprildawn! sometimes we really get the difference in their perspective as compared to ours thrown in our faces, don't we?

I did have the suppositories work a couple of times, but they terrify ds, and now that's he's older he has told me why. the last time I used one after one of his weeklong retaining adventures, he ran around the house screaming on tiptoe, "it buhns! it buhns!!" (it burns!) so we definitely don't use them anymore.

p-chan, I sooo hear you! I don't know how my ds has such good aim for the bridge of my nose mommy is the only one who ever gets timeouts at our house!

I am really grateful for this thread too! it *is* like free therapy!

[VBMama]

Hi there,
I'm signing up for this thread - ds1 is 2.75, so a little younger than some of yours, but we are suffering from all the same drama that everyone else has described.

Today he finally did the big poop after 4 days of holding it. We gave him a suppository last night and he managed to expel it with only a little poop. So the "poop labor" started immediately after he got up at 8 am and absolutely nothing else happened in our house except all the drama until 1 pm. I struggle so hard with not getting angry at him. I always start off wanting to be supportive because the poor little guy is so miserable, but my sympathy wanes after 2 days of horrible behavior and hours on hours of him whining for me or dh to sit in a particular spot every 10 minutes so he can hang on us while he fights off the urge. I'm dreading that this is going to go on for years or that he is going to damage his colon. Potty training is a big joke - right now I'd be happy if he would just poop, forget about sitting on the potty to do it.

I'm glad to hear I don't have the only child around dealing with this issue.

[VBMama]

Also, has anyone tried maltsupex for their dc? My ped recommended it, apparently it's an OTC stool softener for kids.

[mata]

Hi VBMama-I haven't heard of maltsupex. DD saw the doctor this morning and she's putting her on Miralax for a month.

[adtake]

Glad I found you guys.

My oldest will be 5 in December. My DH and I are at our wits end. He has been peeing just fine since around 2ish. He has never pooped in the toliet regurarly. He will hide, go upstairs, stand behind the couch. Normally will pee his pants then poop his pants. His dad and I are : : . We have tried everything to get him to use the toliet. Talking, questioning, sitting with him, giving treats, taking privledges away, ignoring....you name we've done it.

As far as I can tell he is not constipated per se. His poop is not 'hard' and he doesn't strain to go. He just doesn't go in the toliet.

Any, any, any ,any words of wisdom and help, please!!

[P-chan]

aprildawn and adtake: I don't have any words of wisdom for you and hope that things get better soon.

VBMama, it sounds like our sons go about pooping in very similar ways. "Poop labor" is a great phrase! I have coined the word "poogasm" for the moment that the poop finally comes (for the record, I don't use that word in front of my son).

Must run, baby calls.

[mata]

I have one thing to say about Miralax-holy mother of poop!!!!!

I'm running out of diapers!

[Pica]

... signing in as as part of the pooping tribe ....

We've done naturopath, elimination diet, osteopath, laxatives, rewards, explaining the reasons why it's not healthy to hold it in with no luck.

Things that have worked for us so far:

- trying to empower DD, tell her SHE is in charge of pooping, no one else, and that I'm not going to coach/cajole/nag her about it anymore

- not talking about poop unless she brings it up

- "brainwashing" suggestions to her as she sleeps : (only to maintain the healthy rhythm, not to initiate pooping while withholding)

- treats, but not overdoing praise (that backfired on us)

- "treatment plan" of laxative after 1 day without pooping (I've found even skipping one day will throw her right off).

We've found once DD starts pooping regularly, it's really easy for her to lapse back into withholding --- it's such a delicate balance.

Our recent successes have been related, I believe, to me trying to lose my emotional investment, and adopt an attitude of "You're in charge. You'll decide when you need to go." After a couple of months of that, I think she started to trust me that I wasn't going to pressure her & 'coach' her on the toilet, and she relaxed some more. When she finally went, I'd give her the treat, but not really praise her.

I never knew s**t could make me so happy!!!

[Pica]

Anyone else have a pooping calendar?

I have recorded *ALL* of DD's poops & various medications & dosages every day for the last 13 months!

I swear this experience is making me even more ANAL! :

[Rox5266]

I posted something about my ds anal retention last year around this time. He started holding his bms when I tried to toilet train him. He is only getting over it now. So I am going to try to train him again. I am going to use flax seed oil - my pedi recommended it. I'll put in his cheese sandwichs. I'llet you know how it works.

[mata]

I have a Miralax related question. DD had been taking it for about 4 days and (sorry about the tmi) everything became extremely watery. The doctor told me to give it to her every other day instead of every day, which we just started doing. She still had a very watery bm this morning after not going yesterday. Does Miralax typically bring that on?

[annekevdbroek]

Miralax can make poo very watery. We have sometimes cut the daily dose in half or less at times as needed. I've never skipped days. If you are giving her the full dose (17 g, a capfull) that is enough for an adult - so you can imagine that on the relatively smaller system of a kid things can get really watery.

[mata]

Originally Posted by annekevdbroek

If you are giving her the full dose (17 g, a capfull) that is enough for an adult...

yikes-that is what she was prescribed. Although she ends up only finishing half, so...

[annekevdbroek]

My son takes a full capfull - which is about 4 - 4.5 tsp. Knowing that it is pretty easy to use a teaspoon and measure out a lesser amount consistently (or if you decide to taper down the dose over time).