Worrying about problems being intact

[sandals]

Has anyone else experienced this? I came to the USA from a noncircumcising country and I never had any worries about intact penises until coming here! Now I will look at my son's penis when changing his diaper and sometimes think "does it seem redder than usual?" Then I have to stop myself and shake off the paranoia that I never use to have...I feel like subconsciously I have been taken in by erroneous studies about infection risks!

It has really made me see why people get so worried about infection risk in intact boys. Even if the info is bad, it still sticks in your mind sometimes.

[QueenOfThePride]

Sorry, but no, I don't worry about his private parts. I know those studies were flawed. They were done back in the day when intact boys were prematurely retracted. Now THAT causes infections.

[~Jenna~]

I do worry a little bit even though I try not to. I think I'm most afraid that if there was a real problem I couldn't find a dr. that would know what to do without wanting to circ.

[phatchristy]

I'll put it this way, I don't worry. Mainly as I am so well educated, and I would say flat out from a scientific standpoint foreskins would have to be rather problem free because otherwise we wouldn't have survived as a species.

[sandals]

Originally Posted by ~Jenna~

I do worry a little bit even though I try not to. I think I'm most afraid that if there was a real problem I couldn't find a dr. that would know what to do without wanting to circ.

Oh that was another fear that use to plague me! Now I wonder what we would do if we ever had to switch doctors (we finally found one that knows his intact care). I felt like no other doctor in the area knew what he/she was doing. We tried about four others, if memory serves.

[sandals]

Originally Posted by phatchristy

I'll put it this way, I don't worry. Mainly as I am so well educated, and I would say flat out from a scientific standpoint foreskins would have to be rather problem free because otherwise we wouldn't have survived as a species.

That's a good way to think of it. I know they arent problematic..I mean, I came from a country where we dont do it, I have so many male relatives and have never heard of a problem. My husband is intact and he's never had problems!

I dunno what it is that has made me worry...it's like a worry that I dont think about...it's hard to exaplin but sometimes I catch myself thinking "is it redder" and thats when I realize I am irrationally worrying.

[dynamohumm6]

Heh, I worry backwards. I DON'T worry about it at all, to the point where sometimes I wonder if I'm so sure about not having to worry that I am missing something. As in - "the tip of his penis is slightly red. That doesn't mean anything, and I *KNOW* it doesn't mean anything. But what if it does mean something and he's got a horrible festering yeast infection and I'm just so cocky about being sure about everything that I'm ignoring it?!"

Yeah, I'm a little high strung.

But no, I don't worry about it at all. I figure if there's anything wrong with him, penis or otherwise, he'll let me know about it with his awesome set of lungs.

[wendy1221]

ROFL! I was just thinking about this last month or maybe longer ago than that. I didn't "hang out" on the internet at all when my ds1 was little. I had no idea about any of the "problems" an intact boy could have. (and unfortunately, I dodn't know I had to worry about forced retractions from ignorant peds, but that's another story.)

He probably had red and inflamed penis as often, or probably MORE often (considering how bad he had eczema and diaper rash on his behind when he was a baby), but I never paid any attention to it. W/ ds2 and ds3, I got worked up over every little thing. Not such a good thing. LOL

[mama_at_home]

I don't think I worry more about his penis than any other part of him. I think it is just a mother's instinct to be aware of changes in our baby's bodies and sometimes it can make you paranoid. Ds had a lot of fluid in one of his testicles when he was born and it stayed that way for about 2 or 3 months. I knew it was normal and would go away but I still would get scared sometimes. But of course it did go away, just like I knew it would.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by sandals

I dunno what it is that has made me worry...it's like a worry that I dont think about...it's hard to exaplin but sometimes I catch myself thinking "is it redder" and thats when I realize I am irrationally worrying.

Maybe you are concerned that since this culture and physicians are so ignorant about it that if something ever did happen, which would be obviously treated by a cream or something in your country, but here in the US you have the possibility of an ignorant doctor over here pushing circumcision as the way to treat it : ?

[dynamohumm6]

You know, phatchristy, I think you are kinda on to something there....I think some of the reason I 'worry' about it is because part of me is still worried that if he does have any problem, even the slightest one, my dh will think we made a mistake. He wouldn't even SAY it, but the idea of him thinking it is enough to bother me.

[sandals]

Originally Posted by phatchristy

Maybe you are concerned that since this culture and physicians are so ignorant about it that if something ever did happen, which would be obviously treated by a cream or something in your country, but here in the US you have the possibility of an ignorant doctor over here pushing circumcision as the way to treat it : ?

That might have something to do with it. Even though our current doctor is very intact friendly, I remember that when I mentioned this to Dh about how I liked the doc's stance on intact, he said "Well, you won't know for sure until there is a problem what his real stance is."

That's probably true.

[phatchristy]

Well, I have to say, I am the authority here on the foreskin. I sometimes wonder if something did happen to me, could I trust that people would protect him? I don't know that my husband knows enough. I have instructed him to come here should anything happen to me.

So sad that I have to think about those things. I mean, should I have to be concerned that if I died some doc would see $$$ when the saw my son's foreskin and make any excuse to take it off.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by dynamohumm6

You know, phatchristy, I think you are kinda on to something there....I think some of the reason I 'worry' about it is because part of me is still worried that if he does have any problem, even the slightest one, my dh will think we made a mistake. He wouldn't even SAY it, but the idea of him thinking it is enough to bother me.

The thing is, that idea is so riduculous in a way. I mean, if we flipped it over. If our DD got a yeast infection would be thinking that it was time to "lose the labia?" Obviously, ridiculously NO! But, if your DH is not intact, then his feelings about the foreskin as being normal may not be the same. I even wonder about my own circ'd DH, though he clearly knows the sexual differences, some of it from a personal perspective because of restoration.

That foreskin is super important to his whole future sexual experience : (among other things that is the big one I think most adults would consider the most important).

[Dan Bollinger]

Intact Care Information for Parents

You may want to visit www.babyboy.info for intact care information to reassure yourself.

Dan Bollinger

[mama_at_home]

Dan, thanks for that site. It is really simple and to the point-I think I will pass it on to parents needing info.

[dynamohumm6]

Originally Posted by phatchristy

The thing is, that idea is so riduculous in a way. I mean, if we flipped it over. If our DD got a yeast infection would be thinking that it was time to "lose the labia?" Obviously, ridiculously NO! But, if your DH is not intact, then his feelings about the foreskin as being normal may not be the same. I even wonder about my own circ'd DH, though he clearly knows the sexual differences, some of it from a personal perspective because of restoration.

That foreskin is super important to his whole future sexual experience : (among other things that is the big one I think most adults would consider the most important).

Oh, I agree completely - it's totally ridiculous. I think even though now DH is totally against circ now, part of me still worries that he's not 100% there. I think it's my own paranoia about it all, I don't actually *think* he would ever even think "circ" if there were a problem, but like you said - I'm not sure the idea of foreskin as "normal" is quite there yet, you know? Like whenever the stupid HIV study turns up in a news site, he links it to me (from work) and usually says something like "here's that stupid study again"...almost like he's looking for me to reassure him.

I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking it. But I think for me, sometimes because DH isn't passionate about putting an end to RIC as I am, I translate that as him not being "100% convinced", even though that's realistically not the case.
Make sense? I'm kinda thinking outloud, so sorry for the rambliness...

[~Jenna~]

Originally Posted by phatchristy

Well, I have to say, I am the authority here on the foreskin. I sometimes wonder if something did happen to me, could I trust that people would protect him? I don't know that my husband knows enough. I have instructed him to come here should anything happen to me.

So sad that I have to think about those things. I mean, should I have to be concerned that if I died some doc would see $$$ when the saw my son's foreskin and make any excuse to take it off.

Thank you for giving me a brand new fear !!!

[kldliam]

I agree, there is alot of neurosis about the penis in the USA. Constant, irrationale worry about it. If we aren't busy trying to "fix it" with a circ, we are busy worrying that it will get sick. It's so odd.

[aussiemum]

I don't know of any young boys here (in N QLD) who are circumsised... Not amongst the people I know, anyway. 30-40 years ago (probably longer) circumcision was certainly more common.

We just 'let' DS do what ever he wants with his intact penis in his own time- I guess it's a reflection of the approach we've always taken with the children when it comes to personal appearance too, yk?