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getting frustrated-long

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I'm 38 weeks, dd was born right at this time so we (MW and I) were expecting me to go a little earlier this time. I really wanted a UC, DH had a hard enough time with a HB, I put my foot down on that one, so I ended up with a very laid back MW. If I have to have a MW then this is the one I want, she's been practicing for 20 years, and is very comfortable doing absolutely nothing at a birth. I have very miminal appointments, 4 since the beginning of August, and even then all she does is check my BP, feel where baby is at, and check the heart rate, that's it. Last time my BP was high because I had just met her back-up MW, who I did NOT like, so my MW just wrote down a more normal #, knowing the high # wasn't physical.

I live in a rural area, my MW does not have a good rep, she just moved here 2 years ago, and the MW's who had been practicing here for years haven't been welcoming in the least. She doesn't have many clients, so to make ends met she took a job at a hospital an hour and 15 minutes from me. She works nights 3 times a week, there are about 15 hours on each of those days, not counting drive time, that she is unavailable to me. I knew this before, so my MW and I sat down and tried to figure out a time period where baby was likely to be born, and she takes off from work, it has worked in the past for her. Well, it looked like it was going to work, and then I got sick. : She goes back to work on Sat, and I'm just finally feeling better today, after 7 days of a cold. My body has been nothing during all of this, all my cramping, discharge, even BH's stopped, so I know it's not ready to have a baby yet. But I know my body will start gearing up again, and my MW works, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed, and Thursday.

She has a back-up MW that could come if my MW is at work, she is not waht I want. Definately a medwife vs a MW, my MW hates to use her but really has no other option. I do not want this MW at my birth, I'd much, much rather go the UC route last minute then call her. But then I have DH to deal with, he would freak out and call 911, not exactly what I want. He already told me the other day that he was going to let our next-door neighbor know when I go into labor, our neighbor is one of our main guys on our volunteer ambulance. Yep, our area is so rural that all 911 calls, from fire to car crashes, are handled by volunteers. I guess our neighbor told DH that he could make sure there was people and an ambulance ready. I got just a little pissy over that. This is my DH, no matter how much I talk to him about the safety of HB, we've been discussing this for almost 4 years now, it's nothing new, he stresses out about everything. He is one of those very nervous people that always thinks the worst.

I won't do anything to get my body going again, baby will appear when it's ready. I'm just frustrated that I'm in this situation. I have no one vent to, DH of course doesn't understand, he doesn't get why I had to use this MW rather then one of the medwives in my area that are always around. Maybe everything will work out, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that baby decides to appear very soon, or wait over a week until my MW has a couple days off.
post #2 of 5
That is stressful. I am sorry. I hope your midwife is available when you go into labor. It's just not fair for you to have to stress about it though, I wish I ahd some helpful advice. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope it all works out for you!
post #3 of 5
I am sorry about your situation...hopefully the babe will decide to arrive when your midwife is available. When I was in labor with #2 my husband called 911 (actually I don't know if he called or just went outside and told them b/c they were across the street tending to a heart attack) and the paramedics arrived. I was in the bathtub and was in hard labor. I told them to get out of my house and they told my husband that there was nothing they could do b/c I was coherent and refused "treatment". I don't know if that helps your situation but just thought I would offer it...Good luck!
post #4 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by mika3 View Post
I am sorry about your situation...hopefully the babe will decide to arrive when your midwife is available. When I was in labor with #2 my husband called 911 (actually I don't know if he called or just went outside and told them b/c they were across the street tending to a heart attack) and the paramedics arrived. I was in the bathtub and was in hard labor. I told them to get out of my house and they told my husband that there was nothing they could do b/c I was coherent and refused "treatment". I don't know if that helps your situation but just thought I would offer it...Good luck!

That is so crazy, mika3 but good to know. I think I'd do the UC route and try to keep dh under control.... Or maybe he'll be at work?

It's a bummer you have to be stressed about this. No fun.

meg
post #5 of 5
Meg - I'm so sorry. I'm VERY familiar with the rural situation... and unfortunately very familiar with the treatment your midwife received moving into the community... because we've received the same treatment when my husband and I moved here 3.5 years ago (and it's still going strong). It is miserable, and I applaud her for being so strong in her conviction for what women need that she's willing to stick it out... it's hard. We also have the volunteers for all emergencies, and I have my own opinions on that, but I'll keep them to myself.

Assisted hb is illegal in this state, so I'm thankful that we found a very non-invasive and pretty naturally minded family practitioner. However, we live 60+ minutes from the hospital. That drive is fun in labor.

All this to say, I don't have any advice... just empathizing. Maybe you can not let on that you're in labor and send your husband for something that you "need" at the store... that's hard to find and he'll have to be gone a bit to the big city to get? Seriously, though... I'm a big believer that our bodies listen to our comfort level before going into labor (or full-blown labor). Hopefully you'll birth on a day when she's off or be able to catch her before her shift starts and she can "fall ill" or something.

As for your husband, I would remind him that he promised to be your help and support when you married him - and his going behind your back and contacting the neighbor or forcing a hospital birth is doing nothing but lessening your faith in him. That's just awful - I can't believe he would do that.
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