Question re my 3 yr old intact son and retraction

[DayDreamer]

I've read on here a lot about the docs who will retract the foreskin of an intact baby.

Here is my question.

When my almost-three yr old was an infant my family doc pulled his foreskin back ever so slightly. I immidiately protested, and she said it is normal to go back that much (I don't think it was fully retracted). Then the same thing happened about a year or so ago at our new family doc (we switched b/c we moved). She didnt' pull it back far, just enough to see the head.

I've NEVER EVER pulled it back at all, neither has DH or anyone who ever changed ds.

Now this past summer ds and I were swimming in our pool. He was naked. I sat him up on the deck b/c he wanted a break, and I was still in the pool. Next thing I know, I got out of the pool and went to where he was sitting and he had the head of his penis out. And he said "what's this?" I was totally floored. I didn't know if he "hurt" himself or what, though he didn't seem to be in pain. Again, it wasn't the full way back, just a little.

I looked it up online (I wasn't a member here then) and it said the foreskin can start to loosen at as early as 3. DS was 2 yrs and 7 or 8 months.

So is this normal? Did I "allow" a doc to retract him before he was ready to be? Can this be harmful? DS never showed signs of infection or inflamation or anything. What can be done if he was retracted too soon?? Will this cause complications later? I'm really paranoid now.

Thanks for any help.

[RiverSky]

I"m pretty sure that what has happened is totall normal. It's not good that either PED did that, but the fact that your son did it himself...he certainly wouldn't do anything like that if it hurt. Yes, retraction at three is perfectly normal, for some. My almost 8 year old is still not retractable but that's normal, too. I guess there's a big range of normal out there.

[wendy1221]

My ds2 was barely 2 when he was able to retract himself.

[kldliam]

OP: I looked it up online (I wasn't a member here then) and it said the foreskin can start to loosen at as early as 3. DS was 2 yrs and 7 or 8 months.

So is this normal? Did I "allow" a doc to retract him before he was ready to be? Can this be harmful? DS never showed signs of infection or inflamation or anything. What can be done if he was retracted too soon?? Will this cause complications later? I'm really paranoid now.

Dear pregagain,

first I'd like to welcome you to CAC. I'd like to reassure you that everything is fine. Self-retraction is what is best for all involved. All little boys discover themselves and explore like this. Totally normal. The exact same thing happened with my son. He was so very proud of himself when he learned that he could retract and that there was a little surprise beneath. It was darling IMO.

To address some of your comments and questions: the foreskin can retract anytime between 6 mos. and all the way up to 21 yrs. old. Sometimes they may never retract and that is ok too. Now that your son is fully retractable, there is really nothing to worry about anymore. The process is completed and he has hit a milestone of sorts. Worrying about whether or not he was prematurely retracted by the Pedi's is a mute point now. Relax. Your son is in no pain (even though he may get rough with himself at times) he knows his own discomfort threshhold....and if he should say 'ouch'...you can gently remind him that he should be more gentle with himself. My son has pulled at his foreskin and retracted so hard, so many times (while I squirm) but I know that it is all great fun for him!

Check out our retraction poll (by age)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hlight=retract

[DayDreamer]

Thanks for the replies.

I don't know anyone IRL who is intact. Everyone looked at me like : because my DH and I chose not to cut our son.(Howard Stern, surprisingly, was the one who opened our eyes to this)

I guess I just didn't know if there were different "levels" ones foreskin could be retracted. Like just a little vs. the whole way. Sorry if this is crude, I don't know how else to put it.

[kldliam]

I guess I just didn't know if there were different "levels" ones foreskin could be retracted. Like just a little vs. the whole way. Sorry if this is crude, I don't know how else to put it.

Pregagain....it's ok we tend to get a little crude sometimes in CAC when discussing genitals it's hard not too.

I understand now. There are indeed different stages of retraction. It has been compared to a rose-bud opening. It is all normal and ideally should be at the control of the child and not an adult. But sadly, too many adults want full control over children, including THIS! Full retraction is hard to miss....it is a full blooming rose!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Just wanted to mention for any lurkers that even pulling back a little on the foreskin is a big : And you have to be on your toes with Dr's to make sure it dosnt happen. There is NOTHING in there they need to see. It is the equivelent of a Dr opening a little girls vagina to see inside there. :

To the OP as long as it is your son doing it that is fine. He will learn fast what hurts and what dosnt. Just make sure that when he is fully retractable (dosnt sound like he is quiet there yet from your description) to tell him to always pu his foreskin back over the glans. Other than that let him have fun