Who knows you still nurse? - Page 2

[bass chick]

I think sometimes I like to shock people. I casually mention that my oldest is still nursing (he's only 2.5 years). I haven't received any negative feedback, but I can tell that people are taken back a bit. I want people to know so that I help the "word get out" that breastfeeding a toddler is a good thing, and more people should do it and be aware that I am doing it. There are lots of young moms in my community, and most of them think a baby should be weaned at 6 months. Nobody has responded with "Good for you!" yet, but I definately don't keep it a secret.
Sometimes when I find out a mom is pregnant with another baby I pose the question, "Are you going to tandem nurse?" Or "Does your 3 year old still nurse?" because I want them to realize how un-crazy I think it is. They all think I'm bizarre.

[soybeansmama]

Originally Posted by bass chick

I think sometimes I like to shock people. I casually mention that my oldest is still nursing (he's only 2.5 years). I haven't received any negative feedback, but I can tell that people are taken back a bit. I want people to know so that I help the "word get out" that breastfeeding a toddler is a good thing, and more people should do it and be aware that I am doing it. There are lots of young moms in my community, and most of them think a baby should be weaned at 6 months. Nobody has responded with "Good for you!" yet, but I definately don't keep it a secret.
Sometimes when I find out a mom is pregnant with another baby I pose the question, "Are you going to tandem nurse?" Or "Does your 3 year old still nurse?" because I want them to realize how un-crazy I think it is. They all think I'm bizarre.

This is pretty much what I was going to write
When I was a teenager I was constantly doing things for shock value and negative attention. For me as an older and wiser adult it has been a healthier way to shock people. I, too feel like it needs to be normalized. The more people see it or hear about it the less the weird extented breastfeeders have to hide.

[mamasgirls]

My dd is 28 months, and the only people that know she is still nursing are my dh, older dd, mom and dad. My parents have been very supportive, but have started asking when she is going to wean : DH is still very supportive- he believes in letting her wean on her own

[Nature]

I tandem nurse my 3 year old and her 9 month old sister. Everyone knows she nurses because I'm very pro NIP without shame. Mostly all I hear is comments directed at dd which makes me pretty angry. "You're too old for nummies now!" "I thought you were a big girl!" "Nummies are for babies!" .. and zero support for me except my dh. My one close friend IRL doesn't say anything negative and tries to be polite. "Weell.. if it works for you..I couldn't do that.."

[Nature]

Originally Posted by bass chick

I think sometimes I like to shock people. I casually mention that my oldest is still nursing (he's only 2.5 years). I haven't received any negative feedback, but I can tell that people are taken back a bit. I want people to know so that I help the "word get out" that breastfeeding a toddler is a good thing, and more people should do it and be aware that I am doing it. There are lots of young moms in my community, and most of them think a baby should be weaned at 6 months. Nobody has responded with "Good for you!" yet, but I definately don't keep it a secret.
Sometimes when I find out a mom is pregnant with another baby I pose the question, "Are you going to tandem nurse?" Or "Does your 3 year old still nurse?" because I want them to realize how un-crazy I think it is. They all think I'm bizarre.

I do this too! I thought I was just weird...

[dulce de leche]

Originally Posted by alegna

DD is only two (wow- just about the only place I won't get looked at weird for THAT, huh?) but everyone knows she nurses. She still nurses ALL THE TIME. Whenever and wherever.

-Angela

Yep. I really don't get any negative comments, but I think people just prefer not to engage me on the topic.

[sharon71]

DD is almost 15 mths so nearly everyone knows. I do get some "when are you weaning","Oh are you still doing that?" comments but I usually just tell them how i feel.

[Ahappymel]

Only my closest friends, family and midwife know.
My little boy does not talk about nursing in public...he's too busy doing other things.

[mommyabroad]

DS says he'll be finished when he's 13 (it was 11 before) so I figure there's not much use in trying to hide it from people. He just turned 3.

[mamamaris]

I felt very comfy talking about it and NIP when we lived in Boulder. All of the friends and most of the neighbors knew. We just moved to Atlanta a few weeks ago and I have been feeling a little uncomfortable. I am very pro b'fing but am not as confident doing it here, just trying to find my comfort zone.
Most family conversations are "so is the little one (ds2) still nursing?" "Yup" and I leave it at that. They think I am mildly crazy but have never given me a hard time. Thankfully dh acts like it's nothing big. I always admire how he will just state like the fact that it its and doesn't attach alot of emotion/stigma to it with people he talks with. Sometimes I feel I need to exlpain. whatever parenting choices we've made and he just does it so easily and beautifully.

[Ravin]

Random strangers on the crowded bus this afternoon know. "I want to nurse bus!" And she insists on sitting up next to me, often with her bike helmet still on...not a terribly discreet position.

Seriously, we still NIP and I regularly wear my granola threads "I make milk, what's your superpower?" T-shirt. Pretty much it's out there for all the world to see. People out here are pretty live and let live, so while they might think it's odd and make comments about how they couldn't, I've never gotten any really negative comments--though I think the doc who did my annual exam (who weaned when her DD hit a nursing strike at 11 mo.) thought I was a bit out there. She seemed confused, it came up because I wanted to change my birth control and she was asking like, "She eats table foods though, right?" Uh, duh.

[anoldermom]

Originally Posted by *Lisa*

So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?.

Our son gave me up for Barney at a little over 2, and our 4 YO daughter just weaned before her birthday from the bedtime / wake time nursings.

Support ? None, other than my husband. But, I didn't get much guff either I know there was talk (you know, the ooops, she just walked in the room stuff <G>) but wasn't worried. I made my point clear on BF with our son so they kept remarks to themselves with our daughter.

[artgoddess]

My little one will be 3 in January and everyone knows we still nurse. I think some people think it's a little odd, but no one has ever said anything to me. We have a lot of support, including DP, who doesn't even know he is being supportive, it's just what we do to him.

[PajamaMama]

My dd is 41 months old (3-1/2) and still nursing...I don't really know who still knows...my friends here know, my dh and older dd, and I don't know if anyone else knows. Not that I'm 'hiding' it but it just doesn't come up in conversation with anyone else, and she rarely asks away from home.

We're spending Christmas with my husband's family and I wonder if it will come up while we're there...they are pretty mainstream (no one nursed their babies) and I'm sure they will think I'm a freak if it does come up but no one will be rude enough to say anything to ME about it, or to dd either! At least they BETTER not...I can't imagine any of them being so rude or out of line anyway...

[KirstenMary]

Originally Posted by *Lisa*

So, just out of curiosity, who knows that you're still nursing a toddler/older child? How much support/criticism do you get IRL?

I just got off the phone with my old college roommate. She has a six week old, and I wanted to see how they were doing. The phone call was going great--she loved the Sears Baby Book that we sent her, and she went out and got the No Cry Sleep Solution and some other good stuff. She had some difficulty breastfeeding, but things are going better and she's trying to switch away from formula. They're cosleeping now and again, although she's still really nervous about that.

Then she asked me how long I nursed DD. I told her that we nursed for a really long time. She asked if that meant two years, so I told her that DD self-weaned at 4 (just this past summer). I think she thought I was completely insane. She was nice about it, though, and just commented that she didn't think she could do that. It occurred to me just how few people know that she nursed this long. We really never nursed in public since before she was two or so, so only a handful of people really knew she was still nursing.

We told people in our AP playgroup that she weaned, so they knew she had been nursing (and were of course supportive). DD announced her weaning at church one morning during a sharing of joys and sorrows (to my great surprise), but most people didn't understand her... We got a couple of supportive comments and a couple of those looks.... My mom has been supportive enough (at least she never really commented one way or another). I guess I sort of forgot how "weird" it is to be nursing a 4 year old until my conversation tonight. Ugh. I hate feeling weird. I really need to get over that.

Anyway, tell me about your support or lack thereof IRL.

pak

everyone knows. and i have website pics that display this wonderful gift.

last week, my 3 y/o was very sick, and my mom called me at work. "come home," she said, "because you need to nurse her. she needs fluids and she needs your milk."

so, yeah, i get a lot of support.

[Mama2ABCD]

i'm not sure who all knows i still breastfeed my 6 1/2yo and 5 yo. Only close family members and friends have seen that. and it doesn't come up in converstation too often. My 6 1/2, no one sees that anymore mainly because he's intermittant with his nursing needs, once a week (cept lately he's upped to 2x a day). But, it's funny, nursing the 5 yo in front of family is not a big deal too me (and no one would dare say anything negative), when my oldest who was 5 last year i was much more cautious and would go into another room. i guess by the time my 2nd gets there i'm comfortable (or confident might be a better word) with it and being comfortable with what your doing is what matters no matter what someone else thinks.

And my dh loves talking, so he'll tell anybody if he can fit it into a converstation.

Nursing my 2 1/2 yo isn't an issue at all. And nursing my 3mos old never raises an eyebrow anywhere or with anyone.

my boss did ask about 2 mos ago if i was still nursing the older ones (the boys). i told him yes before he even finished the question. luckily he wasn't drinking anything or i'd have been wearing it. i just told him if he doesn't think he'll like the answer...don't ask. but, he's a good guy, he'll get over it and it'll just make him think more.

[Mrstattedup]

I've never really had any support from family members..DH was very supportive w/DS and DD..DS weaned at 3.5yrs..and DD is nursing still at 2.5yrs..but now hubby has started feeling funny about NIP and tells me it's better is she waits..which I have no problems as long as DD doesn't throw a fit and start pullin on my shirt..but sh'es pretty good in public..often too busy to nurse!
but I have to hear it from my mother..but not as oftena s I hear it from my Motherin law!! they tell DD things like "nana's nasty!, that's for babies, you're a big girl now, or "she doesn't need it anymore"...the only thing I do is nod my head and shrug! okay! and continue nursing!

[mama2toby]

My ds will be 2 soon, and we still nurse all the time everywhere. It's not uncommon where I live to see 3, 4, and 5 year olds NIP. I do draw the line though when we're in public and he trys to lift my entire shirt up so he can hold on to the other one. I've haven't yet gotton any negative comments, but am waiting. We visit my IL's this christmas. They know ds stills nurses but I wonder if they'll be uncomfortable to see him nurse? Oh well!

[bass chick]

Originally Posted by Ravin

Seriously, we still NIP and I regularly wear my granola threads "I make milk, what's your superpower?" T-shirt.

I love it!!!

[aileen]

Originally Posted by mama2toby

My ds will be 2 soon, and we still nurse all the time everywhere. It's not uncommon where I live to see 3, 4, and 5 year olds NIP.

can i live with you?
my 3.5 yo still nips all the time, but i've never seen anyone else nurse a child even that young in real life.
who knows we nurse? anyone who hangs out for more than an hour and a half. and several hundred boston commuters! i've received one shocked look and no negative comments. it has shifted from feeling like something i should do - to prove, to educate - into my everyday life and my overwhelming love for dd. which i think is a more compelling "argument" anyway.

this thread is making me so grateful for all the support i have.
thank you family and friends.