I think I'd want to know the sex this time around. With dd we didn't want to know and I so regretted that we didn't find out, but that's part of my mistake too. Let me explain..
From the beginning of my first pregnancy I secretly hoped that my first born *would* be a boy and 2nd child *would* be a girl, and he'd take care of her, protect her, etc, etc. Throughout my pregnancy I kept thinking I was carrying a boy and bought some boy clothes
. On our 20 wks us we didn't want to find out, while deceiving myself (at that time) that boy/girl would be the same. Well, when dd came out and the midwife announced that it was a girl, I had a pang of disappointment
However, 30 min later, after a short time of bonding with her, I was amazed by this precious little darling, and realized how much I loved her. I started to regret my initial reaction and disappointment. I regretted why I had that feeling, some times I cried why I had to give a d@mn about the sex. I felt as if I didn't accept her from the very beginning, as if I rejected her
. I was really hard on myself, blaming myself for being such a bad mama. It took me months to get over it. Everyday I relived that delivery moments in that delivery room, while every second wishing I could start all over again and accepted her as she was, but of course that wasn't going to happen and I cried and cried to no end.
It seems so trivial a mistake but the impact was huge. For the mistake of that first reaction I had to pay back months and months of misery. I don't want to do that same mistake again, although right now I'd be happy if I have another girl; that means dd will have a little sister who could be her little confidante. And if I have a boy, then my family is complete. All in all, I think I'll find out the sex on our 20w us.