(sigh, yet another) DH wants to circ

[BlueStateMama]

We just can't agree about this!! DS is circ'd, DH is circ'd...We have yet to decide about a 3rd child but I *can't* get him to see the reason about NOT circing (if and when we have another.) He says, "I'm FINE" "You ALWAYS bring this up" "What are we going to tell his brother??" (I always say, 'When you know better, you do better.' 'Do you really want to be there when your son is flayed??' etc etc)

Of course, we talk here about intervening before children are circ'd (which, I of course would do) But I want to make him see the light. He bought the Victorians/masturbation argument...what else???

(God, I know this is sooooo been there, done that, in this forum, but I'm a recent convert v. circ and I need back up!!)

And yes, I am v. familiar with this forum and have read exhaustively

[kldliam]

Has he seen the MGM video yet?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=481025

Most intelligent individuals respond with disgust to it. Give it a try.

[Lula's Mom]

Yes, the video. If you haven't seen it, be warned. It's an awful thing to watch happen to a baby.

Has he read anything yet? Would he, if you left it in the bathroom? I like Separated at Birth from Men's Health magazine. I think men might respond well to information from a source they're familiar with.

[Mommiska]

I'm so sorry, Mama - it sucks to be having to have this conversation. It is really messed up that this is even an issue (I'm American, but live in the UK, and no one would ever dream of asking if you wanted any of your children circed over here, thankfully).

I think the two previous suggestions were good ones (I really like the Men's Health magazine article as well).

For me, this all comes down to a simple 'who's body is it?' issue. It is unethical to cut a healthy, functioning body part off someone else's body. Period. Would your husband be open to that perspective?

It's interesting - when I was growing up, my Mom and Dad used to always tell me (when I was moaning that 'everyone else' was allowed to do this or that) -

'If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff, too?'

Now, I always thought that was a dumb analogy, because jumping off a cliff was obviously going to hurt/be dangerous, and I generally wanted to go and do something fun with my friends!

I know I'm not the only person who heard that phrase growing up, though.

And we don't want our kids to grow up and just do 'what everyone else does'. That is a good way to end up doing some really REALLY stupid things.

So why do Americans line up like good little sheeple at the circumcision door at the hospital, and hand their precious newborns over to have part of their genitals cut off? Just because everyone else is doing it?

Is that what your husband wants for his child? That he be cut just becuase everyone else is cut? And of course, it isn't even true anymore that 'everyone else' is cut - the rate is moving closer and closer to 50/50 all the time...and once it hits 50/50, I'm sure the cut rate will drop even more dramatically...

I'm sorry - I'm rambling. But good for you for standing up to your husband and discussing this issue with him. I know it's hard, but it's definitely the right thing to do. Hugs to you both - this is a hard issue for many American men, I know.

[A&A]

Deep breath, mama. You're not pregnant yet. There's time. Take a step back and read this article:

http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/vuln...ty_of_men.html

(DON'T show it to your husband. It's just for you to read.)

[DevaMajka]

Here's where I might take it-
(I'm assuming you've already conveyed that the foreskin is a natural, normal, useful body part, and circ is a cosmetic surgery to remove it)
Circ is surgery. Surgery hurts. Even if you use anesthesia, it hurts afterwards (and sometimes during). I've had two minor surgeries in recent years, and had adequate anesthesia during both. But they both hurt like the dickens afterwards! Lots of pain for days, and mild pain for weeks, AND they gave me mucho painkillers.
So, when you circ a baby (like I did my ds ) you are basically committing them to live their first few weeks of life in pain. In addition to that, a lot of circs readhere (?) (like my ds), and that hurts too.
Not to mention the fact that babies are supposed to be WITH THEIR PARENTS. I can't imagine how traumatic it must have been for my poor ds to be taken away from nice warm cuddly arms, put on a cold hard board, and cut at.
Then there's also the possibility of a bad circ, and a wrongly-functioning penis in adulthood.

Good luck. My dp (circ'ed) was all for circ after ds was born, when I realized what a hugely awful thing it was. I gave him tidbits of information, and always left the conversation when he began to get defensive. It took a while, but he's as anti-circ as I am now.

[trmpetplaya]

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I have no advice, but wish you success and hope that others' suggestions will help you convince your dh And remember, that at least you still have quite a lot of time to convince him yet!

love and peace.